


Over the River and Through the Woods

by ShadowtheStoryteller



Series: Adventures of An Idiot (And the Idiot is Me) [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: A bit more serious than the first story, Bad Batch - Freeform, Chaos abound, Clone Troopers - Freeform, F/M, Maybe - Freeform, Original Characters - Freeform, Original Species, Over the river and through the woods to the Vault we go, Self Insert, Still going strong, The Bad Batch - Freeform, and more original stories content, buckle up yall, clone force 99 - Freeform, crosshair is still fun to piss off, definitely more bad batch x shadow, honestly its the most fun ive had in years, hunter doesnt want to stab me anymore, im still ready to fight everyone and everything, it'll be light whatever it is, its a 2020 mood cmon yall, lots of wonk, maybe smut, not sure yet - Freeform, shenanigans abound, still basically me making fun of my writing, tech is still baby, this gonna be wild, wrecker is still wrecker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 70,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25775296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowtheStoryteller/pseuds/ShadowtheStoryteller
Summary: Well, now I know what the Bad Batch need my help with: Accessing the coordinates to a planet that could very well be one from my original stories. To obtain that information, I need to lead them over the river and through the woods to the Vault, a magical cave that houses the coordinates. It’s just a simple hike there and back. What could possibly go wrong?Unfortunately... a lot.
Relationships: Clone Force 99 | Bad Batch/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Adventures of An Idiot (And the Idiot is Me) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712326
Comments: 267
Kudos: 141





	1. Ch. 1 A Rude Awakening

You know the cliché of starting a story with a wake-up scene caused by a noise? Well, seems fate saw fit to pull that with me, because my awakening was anything but peaceful.

The sound of a loud crash, followed by yelling, woke me up and for a hot minute, I thought I was back in the Tintin fandom, the sailors fighting over some stupid shit and breaking something in the process. 

It wasn’t uncommon. They were always squabbling about something, even if they had each other’s backs at the end of the day. They’d go for each other’s throats without mercy yet if an outsider so much looked at one of them wrong, all Hell broke loose. Nevertheless, they certainly lived up to the stereotype of sailors getting into knife fights.

But bullshit this early… now that was new. Most times they were little more than zombies in the morning until they had their coffee. So why would they…

Catching Wrecker’s voice followed by Hunter’s, I realized that no, it wasn’t sailors disrupting my sleep with shenanigans. It was _commandos_ disrupting my sleep with shenanigans. Not just any commandos… the legendary Clone Force 99. 

Many fans would be _ecstatic_ to wake up to those boys but me? 

Nah fam. Don’t mess with my sleep.

I groaned, burying myself deeper into the sheets as I tried to become one with the mattress. Sleep was so damn close…

More yelling shattered the hope of falling back asleep.

Blindly feeling around, I tried to locate my watch. I could hear the compass rattle as I slapped the bed, but finding it... 

There!

Snatching it, I pressed a button on the side to backlight the screen. A dim green glow flickered to life and an even deeper frown dug into the corners of my mouth. Five AM.

No. Nope. Nuh uh. No sir. Denied. It was too early to deal with this. Flinging the watch away, it hit a pillow and plopped back down into the sheets. Pressing even harder into the sheets, I muttered under my breath as uncertain footsteps approached my door.

 _Hoe, don’t you even do it_. 

A knock sounded at the door. Soft and hesitant, I knew it had to be Tech. Wrecker would break the door, Hunter would probably just yell, and Crosshair... hell he’d probably reenact _Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies_ before he came to ask for my help. With those anime looking stems he had for legs he’d probably be good at it.

“Shadow?” 

I refused to answer. Maybe he’d go away. Leave me to hide back in dreamland. I’d take my chances with a nightmarish green and black mist leaching through my synapses than deal with whatever those idiots destroyed at O’Dark Thirty

He knocked harder. “Shadow, are you awake?” 

“No.” 

Tech was silent for a moment, and I could hear the shuffle of his feet. “Wrecker broke a plate.”

 _Fucks Sake_... “I’ll be out there in a minute… now _piss off_.”

Footsteps rapidly scurried away and I heard a faint, “I think she’s mad...”

_You **think**? You’re Sherlock Holmes meets Inspector Gadget, but it doesn’t take a mastermind to figure out I’m pissed after you idiots wake me up at six am!_

Grumbling a few choice words under my breath, I managed to haul myself out of bed and put on some different clothes to go out and confront the morons.

But the conversation I walked out to… I nearly turned right back around.

Tech’s voice reached me first. “She said she’d be right out.”

“Probably had to put a bra on. Women don’t usually wear those to sleep,” Hunter commented. 

Did he… Did he just…? _Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me… **this** is how we’re starting? _

“Studies show they don’t,” Tech chirped. 

_Who the hell **studies** that?!_

Wrecker laughed and, judging from the dull thud, slapped Tech’s back. “My experience says they don’t!” 

_Of course Wrecker would say something like that…_

“How would you know if they do or don’t? You’ve never even been with a girl!” Tech retorted. 

_Shots fired._

“Neither have you!” Wrecker blustered. 

_Return fire._

“She probably doesn’t even need one,” Crosshair snorted. “She’s flat enough.”

 _Absolutely **not**_.

I stepped into the room. “The next person who says anything about me being flat will be the one who’s flat when I push them into oncomin’ traffic and they get hit by a bus.”

The men, or boys, froze. Tech looked mortified, Wrecker embarrassed, Crosshair stunned, and Hunter downright uncomfortable. “Er, how much of that did you hear?” Hunter asked. 

Did he... _not_ sense me coming? Wasn’t this man supposed to be part bloodhound?

“Enough to know y’all ain’t as professional as you give on first impression.” I focused on Tech as I said that. “Strange, you know I’m havin’ a deja vu moment. Almost like some nerd told me yesterday that first impressions are often wrong. Now I wonder which nerd that could be.” 

Tech’s fairer skin was _not_ doing him any favors as red crept up his cheeks. “Well… ah…”

“Save it. Now, can someone _please_ explain to me what kind of _fuckery_ this is?” I asked, gesturing with a stiff arm and hand towards the broken plate on the floor. “It’s five AM, too. What in the Nine Corellian Hells were you idiots doing? Explain to me why the fuck there’s a plate more shattered than my mental state. It’s been a day, no, _not even a day_ , and I’m _already_ done with you four! Y’all as bad as the sailors and I was stuck with ‘em for near two weeks! There were thirty of them! I’ve seen some shit! How none of them died on that ship is beyond me, yet here I am with four men, no, _frat_ boys, who somehow manage to break a plate at five am! Why are you even up at five? And why in _my_ apartment? Y’all have your own!” 

Hunter stepped forward. “Shadow-”

“Hush up, Fabio! I’m not done!” I hissed, pointing a stiff finger at him.

His brows raised in surprise. “Who the hells is Fabio?”

I groaned loudly before answering, “It’s a model with really majestic hair.”

Brows furrowed, Hunter looked me up and down. “You are strange when you’re up early.”

“I wouldn’t be strange if I were asleep!” I glared at the four men. “As I was _saying_ before Hunter decided his sentence began in the middle of mine, _how did you four idiots manage this?!_ Somebody better start explain’ or Imma start throwin’ hands!

“It was him!” Wrecker shouted, pointing to Crosshair.

The sniper shot him a look of surprise which quickly turned sour. “Most certainly was not! Your clumsy hands dropped it.”

“I ain’t about to play a convoluted game of Who Dun It!” I snapped, startling the men. “Sergeant Hunter, which one is tellin’ the truth?”

Hunter raised an eyebrow but nodded towards the largest Bad Batch member. “Wrecker dropped it.”

“Sarge!” the demolition expert protested, betrayal all over his face. 

“Wrecker,” I demanded, crossing my arms and drumming my fingers against my arm. 

“Er... I was tryin’ to get one out and it… slipped. But I wouldn’t have dropped it if Crosshair hadn’t hit me!” Wrecker protested, shooting an accusatory look towards Crosshair. 

I glared up at the sniper, who stood not too far from me. “Ok, Mister Twiggs, why’d you hit him?”

Crosshair looked me up and down and snorted dismissively. “Tch, I don’t have to answer to y-”

I marched forward, grabbed the front of his blacks, and yanked him down to eye level. “Listen up, Fuck Face, thanks to you I got a max of four hours of sleep. I need at least six to function. My insomniac ass has no patience for your bullshit right now so you better start yappin’ before I kick your nuts, assumin’ you have them, into your throat.”

Dark brown eyes, inches from mine, stretched wide. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh bitch, yes I _would_. Try me,” I said, voice almost a purr as I dragged him in until our noses were almost touching. 

We remained locked in a staring contest before Hunter suddenly sneezed. I glanced down and quickly realized why.

 _Really? It’s gonna be one of **those** self-inserts? Well, fasten your seatbelts, ladies and gentlemen. The fun has begun, and we’re goin’ for a **ride**._ “You know,” I commented, looking back up at Crosshair slowly. “I expected Tech to be the submissive one, not you.”

As Crosshair jerked away, visibly bristling at my comment, Tech gasped indignantly. “What?! I’ll have you know, I’m not submissive! I am a commando soldier and member of the most elite clone squadron in the Grand Army of the Republic!” he sputtered, trying to puff out his chest and make himself appear more intimidating. 

Unfortunately for the nerd, I found him to be as scary as a kitten. “Yeah so’s Cross, and his dick just made a surprise appearance because I told him off.”

As Wrecker burst out laughing, gripping the side of the counter and leaving a dent in the granite, Crosshair hissed at me, “You _claim_ to be asexual yet you have one filthy mouth, brat.”

“I’m not the ‘brat’ in this scenario, Twiggy,” I snorted. “Besides, _I_ may be ace-slash-grey, but my mind and mouth certainly ain’t.”

“If it’s a power play you want, I’ll show you just who the dominant one really is, _sweetheart_ ,” Crosshair growled, stepping closer to me.

 _Bad move, Cross._ A quick tiger mouth to the throat brought the man back to eye level. “Treat me like a game, Crosshair...” I tightened my grip around his throat, making him wheeze slightly. “And I’ll show you how it’s played.”

I felt him swallow hard under my hand. “Let _go_ of me,” he growled, trying to back out of my grip and pulling at my wrist when my hand tightened.

“And why should I do that?”

“You can go back to sleep?” Tech offered hesitantly, eyes darting between Crosshair and I. Right, the nerd hated conflict. 

I thought that over for a minute. “That’s a fair point, Techie,” I said, shoving Crosshair away.

The sniper grunted and massaged his throat, glaring at me. “You’re a feral little brat, aren’t you?”

“And proud of it. But if you think that’s feral, then you my friend have seen _nothing_ yet. We Alphians may _look_ human, but we’ve got animal entwined deep within our DNA. Piss us off, and you’ll learn the hard way how we keep our spot as top dog on our planet.”

“We’re the Bad Batch, kitten. Challenges are our specialty,” he sneered. 

“You _really_ askin’ for Rotation Seventeen, ain’tcha, Twiggy?” I growled, shifting my weight to my toes. 

“And what’s that, _kitten_? You threatenin’ to kick me again?”

I laughed. “Oh _no_ , Crosshair dear. I don’t kick you.” I stopped laughing, smile vanishing in an instant. “I _rip it off_.” 

Leaving him to ponder that, I moved to the sink and dug around underneath it before finding a dustpan and brush. Pulling it out, I shoved it into Wrecker’s chest. “You broke it, big guy, you get to clean it up. If I walk out here and get glass in my foot, I’m holdin’ you _personally_ accountable? Am I clear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he chuckled nervously, clutching the dustpan close to his chest.

“Then, gents, and Crosshair, I’ll be headin’ back to dreamland and so help me, if _any_ of you wake me up within the next hour, you _will_ get flyin’ lessons off the balcony.”

“That a threat?” Crosshair sneered. “And I don’t believe you can really rip a dick off.”

Hunter cleared his throat. “She’s not joking. She showed us the move last night.”

Crosshair looked mildly surprised as he turned his eyes towards his brother. “When?”

“You were showerin’! Missed a great demonstration! _Haran’ika_ is a lethal little fighter!” Wrecker laughed, sending a grin my way. He still looked a little guilty, however, and I figured he was trying to get back on my good side. 

_You’re lucky you’re my favorite._ “Like Wrecker said. I’m lethal and when I’m tired, I don’t pull my punches. You really want to test that right now?” 

Hunter quickly stepped in. “He doesn’t.”

Crosshair’s head jerked towards him. “When did I say tha-”

“I’m saying you don’t because Shadow needs more sleep if she’s going to lead us through the mountains without trouble.”

“Huh, I like your thinkin’, Sergeant.” I looked around at the men. “I meant it when I said if you wake me up before seven I’m sendin’ you flyin’. Try me.”

Heading back to my room, I slipped inside and went to change back into my sleep clothes. With any luck, I could get some more sleep before we had to leave. 

But, of course, the moment I laid my head down on the pillow…

“Shadow, time to go.”


	2. Ch. 2 A'pealin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a simp for our Shaggy Haired Tattooed Sergeant.   
> This chapter was fun
> 
> Warnings:   
> Mainly just language, a reference to a possible blood fetish on Tech's part.

I immediately knew it wasn’t Tech with a gloved and semi-armored hand on my shoulder. How? See, my bed wasn’t normal. Shocking, right? Since when are self-insert characters not quirky and unique? I was no exception. My bed was actually a mid-loft bed, two sets of drawers able to fit underneath and still room left for a small nest of pillows and blankets.

All that to say it couldn’t have been Tech because he wouldn’t have been able to reach as far over the rail. Crosshair wouldn’t dare be in here, and Wrecker was much noisier…

“Sergeant… for your sake I better still be dreamin’.”

“I’m afraid not, Shadow.”

_ You  _ **_better_ ** _ be afraid.  _ Smacking his hand off my shoulder, I twisted my head to glare at him as he stood by my bed in full armor. “First you break my plate then you break into my room? Motherfucker, one more infraction and I’m breakin’ your nose.” I rolled over and shifted deeper into the covers. “See how handsome that face of yours is then.”

“Handsome?”

I glanced over my shoulder at the sergeant, who wore a mix of amusement and surprise on his tattooed face. Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I replied, “I’m grey not blind. You have a conventionally attractive face and your hair is nice.”

A brow quirked up. “Thought you said you couldn’t flirt?”

I snorted and faced away from him again. “That’s not me tryin’ to flirt, you wanna see me try to flirt? You didn’t strike me as a masochist. Why put yourself through that?”

“Now you’ve got me curious, Shadow,” Hunter remarked dryly.

My own response was dry as well. “Do I now? Guess I just have to oblige.” I flipped back to face him. “Very well, Sergeant Hunter. Want a taste of my horrible flirtin’ skills? Just remember, you wanted this. So, tell me, are you old wallpaper?” 

His brow furrowed. Clearly that wasn’t the direction he thought I was gonna go. “Old wallpaper?”

“Yeah, cause I find you...” A near wicked grin twisted my lips. “A’pealin.”

He made a face, but it didn’t hide his grin. “That was horrible.”

“No shit,” I snickered, rolling over again. “Now be gone and let me sleep a big longer.”

“Sorry, Shadow. Time to get up. We have a mission to do and we’ve delayed enough as is.”

“Didn’t I say if you wake me up before seven I’d send you flyin’?”

“Chronometer reads seven-o-one.”

Well fuck, he had me there. But I still wasn’t quite ready to get up. I squinted over my shoulder at him, slowly gripping the edge of the sheet. “Like a shadow, I am gone.  _ Whoosh _ .” Dramatically, I pulled the covers back over my head. 

He reached over the rail and tugged at the covers. “Come on. I sent the others to gather last minute stuff. You need to get up and ready.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” I retorted, smacking his hand.

“Shadow.”

“Hunter.”

“I won’t ask again.”

I was far too tired to give a shit about the fact his officer tone had crept in. “Good.”

“If you aren’t up when they get back, I’ll send Crosshair in to wake you up.”

“Yawn.”

“Alright. I see you want to do this the hard way. Very well. I won’t send Crosshair. I’ll send  _ Wrecker _ .”

I jerked up fast enough to give myself whiplash. “Good morning USA! I got a feeling that it’s gonna be a wonderful day!” I sang, scrambling for the ladder.

“What’s USA?” Hunter asked, stepping back to give me room as I jumped down.

“Don’t worry about that,“ I grumbled, attempting to turn the man around and push him out of my room. “Now shoo. Give a lady some privacy.”

“But you’re no lady,” Hunter replied, leaning back against my hands.

“That was rude,” I replied with a huff, still shoving at his back.

“Says the woman who told me to, what was it? Calm my tits?”

“Great, not only do I have a cheeky sergeant on my hands, I’ve got a  _ vengeful _ sergeant as well.” I pushed my shoulder into him, trying to gain more leverage. “Who needs to lose some weight, damn son!”

“Oh that’s just gravity. It’s funny on this planet. In fact.” He began to lean his entire weight back against me. “I think it’s getting stronger.”

So, he wanted to play it difficult huh? Very well. I dropped my hands and stepped out of the way, causing Hunter to topple backwards. Had he not had something to grab and slow his fall, it could have been a lot worse.

Unfortunately, that something happened to be my arm.

Digging my heels in, I quickly shifted my weight backwards to counteract his. But the man in his armor was heavier than anticipated, and his weight took us both to the floor. Crashing onto the carpet, Hunter landed on his back and only by twisting at the last second did I manage to avoid landing on top of him. 

“I shoulda stayed in bed and taken my chances with the big fella,” I grumbled from my place beside Hunter, my chin in one hand as I drummed my fingers on the floor with the other.

“Had you not tried to push me we wouldn’t be here,” Hunter snorted. The sergeant had fallen on his back and now lay propped up on one elbow as he faced me.

“Uhhh,  _ nooo _ ,” I corrected, turning my head to face him. “Had  _ you _ not decided to invite yourself into my room,  _ then _ we wouldn’t be here, Shaggy.”

“You needed to get up, Ice.”

He couldn’t have known the effect that would have. That name… Ice. The nickname of my oc Scarlett when I first started writing, given to her thanks to her stunning blue eyes. Sure my character still had that nickname even six years later, as her eyes were still really blue, but it was still jarring. I figured he was probably referencing my “special ice” comment from yesterday, since it was a funny line thinking about it. Even so, it took me a moment to reply. “Well now we’re both down.”

“I see that.” Something in his tone told me he caught my brief moment of crisis. No small wonder. My face was quite expressive and even if it wasn’t, Hunter was probably an expert at body language.

“Oh really?” I snorted in an effort to distract him from pondering too much. “Well yippe.” Pushing myself up onto all fours and shaking myself off, I sat back on my heels.

“Do all Alphians move like a cat?” he asked, eyeing me with a raised eyebrow.

_ This has nothing to do with my Alphian blood… and everything to do with why I was an outcast for most of my elementary school life. Even now I can’t shake the branding of “crazy cat girl”, nor can I weed out personality quirks that became ingrained into my behavior from many years of pretending. _

“Feline Type Alphians do. There’s…” I counted the clans in my head and on my hand.  _ Agor, Hyde, Izeirv, Jekyl, Vulry, Xandal, Zyvor.  _ “Seven different types. Avian Raptor, Feline, Ursine, Serpents, Canines, Sharks, and Lizards.”

“That’s a vast array,” Hunter commented, sitting up.

“A primary type for each clan. Same thing with elements. There’s Air, Darkness, Ice, Lightning, which Trevor has, Fire, Water, and Earth.”

Brown eyes looked at me with new interest. “You mentioned a clan yesterday. Jackals?”

_ Between you and Tech y’all gonna make my eye start twitching with this mispronunciation _ . “ _ Jekyls _ . They have the biggest taste for human flesh and love to enslave humans. They’re probably your culprit, plus that planet was a desert one, right?”

Hunter nodded. “Correct.”

“Then it’s most likely them, they live in temperate desert climates.”

“Wait…  _ biggest _ taste for human flesh?” The sergeant leaned back, eyeing me with newfound caution. “Do all Alphians eat humans?”

Fighting off a laugh, I explained, “Some do, some don’t. I don’t. We ain’t like Rageryans, they really eat human meat. They’re also occasional cannibals thanks to an apocalyptic event in their species’ past, though most clans and tribes have sworn off it.”

“That man Trevor is a Rageryan, right?” 

_ He’s a disaster of a creature is what he is. _ “Partial. Alphians and Rageryans can reproduce, Rageryans and humans can reproduce, and Alphians and humans can reproduce. Relks factor in too. Alphs, Rags, and Relks all have human way back in their line, so any combination of them can mix and match. You can also make an artificial half-blood between two of the species. Attempting to mix three is not a good idea.”

Hunter looked mildly impressed. “You certainly know your stuff.”

_ Of course I do, I’m the one who came up with it _ .  _ What kind of creator would I be if I couldn’t recall my own worldbuilding stuff? I ask as I keep forgetting literally everything. _ “Thanks,” was all I said, standing up and reaching down to pull him up as well. 

Hunter took my hand and let me pull him to his feet. “Don’t take too long, we need to move ASAP.”

“Had you just left when I asked, I’d already be out,” I snorted as he walked past me. 

Shutting the door behind him, I threw on the clothes I laid out last night, a sleeveless black shirt and dark camo cargo pants complete with a hole for my tail if I did need to shift. After that, I grabbed the bag I also had packed the night before. Many hiking trips had taught me that fixing everything the night before was a wise move. I grabbed two hats as well, one with ear holes and one without, stuffing the first hat into my small bag and tucking my hair under the second. 

I’d go see Trevor once we left the room for the other stuff and map of the tunnels. I shuddered. I fuckin hated underground. This would not be a fun experience once we got into those mineshafts. 

After running to the bathroom, I walked out to find Hunter sitting at the table, helmet sitting in front of him as he drank some juice. “That was quick. And nice hat.”

“Ain’t my first rodeo, and you won’t be laughin’ when the humidity makes you look like you stuck your finger in an electrical outlet.”

“My hair doesn’t frizz,” he remarked, looking smug.

“Well you better share your secrets, because mine does all the time.” I looked at the juice in his hand. “And of course you can raid my fridge, thanks for askin’,” I snorted, heading there myself. 

He raised his glass towards me in a silent and sarcastic “you’re welcome” and went back to drinking his juice. 

“Such a lovely bunch, you Bad Batchers,” I said, rolling my eyes. 

“You’re not exactly sunshine and rainbows yourself,  _ Ice _ ,” Hunter replied, watching me closely to no doubt try and catch the brief moment of hesitation. 

This time, however, I hid it. “Thank you, I try.” Grabbing the half-gallon of what I figured to be orange juice, for it was orange and it was juice, I unscrewed the lid and gave it a sniff. Smelled like orange juice. 

“You Alphians can smell things humans don’t, can’t you?” Hunter remarked. 

“Aye. But in this form my senses are muted compared to my other forms. I gotta say,” I looked him up and down, “Never heard of someone being allergic to arousal hormones.”

“I am not  _ allergic _ . I sneeze to get it out of my nose.” Hunter made a face. “You know how weird it is to smell arousal from your brother?” 

“I am an only child so I shall remain blissfully unaware of that experience,” I replied gratefully.

As he picked up his glass, Hunter replied dryly before taking a drink, “He wouldn’t have gotten aroused had you not flirted with him.”

“ _ Flirt _ with  _ Crosshair _ ?” I exclaimed, half shocked and half offended. “I may be a gremlin who can be off the fuckin’ shits feral at times, but I have standards! They’re low, but they’re there.” I tipped back the jug. 

Yep, orange juice. 

Hunter sat his glass down. “Says the one drinking that juice straight from the jug,” he pointed out.

“No… I thought I was drinking it straight from the tit of the orange.” I took another drink.

“Is there a possibility we can get another guide?”

I lowered the jug and raised an eyebrow at him. Fighting down a grin when he mirrored me, I snorted, “Not a chance, Sarge. Y’all stuck with me now.”

“Oh no, how will we survive?” he lamented, face deadpan.

“Do you feel menaced, Sergeant?” I teased.

That characteristic playful smirk appeared on his face. “Very.”

“Then my work here is done.”

“You are a lot more playful when I talk to you one on one,” he said with a small laugh.

“Like I told Tech, I’m only hostile if you poke me with a stick first. Speaking of Tech, does he have a blood fetish or something?”

Hunter’s eyes grew wide and he choked on his juice. “Excuse me, a  _ what _ ?”

_ This poor man _ .  _ To be fair, that would throw anyone. Ain’t his fault I have no filter.  _ “A blood fetish.”

Still looking two seconds from passing out from pure shock, Hunter looked me up and down. “What did you two do after I went to sleep?!”

My ears shifted back as I made a disgusted face. “Ew! Not that! I’ve known y’all hardly a day, what do you take me for?”  _ If I’d known him longer maybe… _ “No, he was just really adamant about getting my blood for testin’. I mean I get it, blood is really good for learning about a species, but he was  _ persistent _ .”

The sergeant rubbed his temples. “Did you give him any?”

I snorted. “Uh no. I can’t do needles, my man. At all. It’s a complete and utter no from me.” I took the orange juice, poured myself a glass, and sat across from Hunter.

“I’ll tell him to stop asking,” Hunter assured me, then under his breath muttered, “I cannot believe him.”

“No harm no foul. He agreed to layoff in exchange for me talkin’ to him about Kelusia and my species on the trail.”

“Good.”

We went silent for a few moments as we downed our glasses of juice. Hunter seemed preoccupied by something on the tabletop, so I took the chance to study his armor. How did they get it on? How’d they get it off? How many pieces was it made of? How heavy? How’d they take it off to piss?

My eyes went to his helmet, studying the painted skull on the left-hand side. An excellent choice, for that insignia of death was the last thing many would see before they themselves died. I knew the Bad Batch normally fought droids but they were special forces. Really special forces. I knew a couple of retired special forces guys in real life, and was fairly certain that if Star Wars special forces were anything like real-life special forces… their missions were anything but normal.

The helmet was within my reach. I could literally grab it. But… well anxiety always did pick the…  _ best _ times to pop in for a visit. Bastard.

But I  _ really _ wanted to hold that helmet.

No, asking would agitate the sergeant.

Or would it?

No, he’d hate me.

Wait, why would he hate me?

It’d be bothering him…

But would it really?

Brown eyes met mine. “Shadow… something wrong?”

_ Busted. _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all getting a first hand account of anxiety next chapter. Enjoy


	3. Ch. 3 Bigger on the Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have literally only seen a quarter of a doctor who episode, but I'm on tumblr enough lol. I do have a bag I call the Tardis!
> 
> Anyways, here I am with another chapter and more stupidity! From here on out the chapter upload schedule will get... wonky. College starts next week and I not ready....
> 
> But at least the topics are fun! Environmental Policy, Weather and Climate, and Intro to Environment! Plus a Comtemp lit class for my English minor ^^
> 
> Content Warnings: Anxiety and language.

“No, nothing’s wrong,” I said. You know, like a liar.

Hunter set down the glass and held my gaze. He said nothing, one brow slowly raising.

“I’m serious!”

He continued to hold my gaze steadily, still not saying a word. Brown eyes slowly narrowed. Oh man… not  _ the _ Look TM .

“Seriously, nothing’s wrong…”

“I would believe you,” he said slowly. “If it weren’t for the cortisol flowing off you.”

My eyes widened.  _ Busted: Part 2 _ . “Oh… right. You’re part bloodhound.”

“Not sure what a bloodhound is. But you can ask me a question, I don’t mind.” 

I blinked in surprise. How did he…?

“I’ve worked with anxious individuals before enough to know when they’ve got a question on their mind but are hesitant to ask,” he explained. 

“I should have figured,” I grumbled. “You  _ are _ the leader of Clone Force Ninety-Nine. Makes sense you’d be good at readin’ people.”

Hunter remained silent for a moment. “So… what is it you want to ask?” he pressed before taking another sip of his drink. 

_ Just ask… tell anxiety and the horse it rode in on to piss off. _

_ Easier said than done. _

But I took a deep breath and hesitantly asked, cheeks burning, “Could… could I see your helmet?”

Hunter clearly didn’t expect that to be my question. “My... helmet?” He glanced at it then back to me. “Why?”

“I’ve always wondered what clone trooper buckets look like on the inside.” I cursed my curiosity as I stumbled over my words. “I mean… if you wouldn’t mind… I understand if it’s a no, I mean after all I could be an agent and tamper with it, so I get it completely if you don’t feel comfortable letting me hold it. I understand and I’m sorry if I’m annoying you with this…”

Something flickered across his face and Hunter slid it across the table to me. “Just be careful with it.”

My face lit up as I reached for the helmet. “Don’t worry, I will!” Scooping it off the table, I was surprised. Heavier than I thought! 

Hunter, slowly drinking his juice, watched as I turned the helmet back and forth. “Never seen someone other than Tech look over a helmet so enthusiastically.” He sounded amused. 

“Hey, never know if I’ll ever get a chance to hold one of these again,” I said. Staring at the skull painted on the front once more, I lightly trace the outline with my finger. I wondered how often he had to reapply paint. It no doubt got scuffed during missions.

I glanced up at Hunter’s tattoo, aiming to see how closely the two matched. Brown eyes were watching me intently, and while I knew he would be making sure I didn’t tamper with it, it still caught me off guard.

The corner of his mouth turned up, a gesture I was coming to know as a sign he was amused. “So? Is it what you imagined a helmet to be like?”

“More or less,” I replied, turning it over and peering inside. It was either  _ Star Wars Gambit _ or  _ Star Wars Stealth _ I had read all those years ago that described what the inside was like, but I’d forgotten all of it. 

Damn it, now I wanted to put it on. To avoid putting myself in  _ that  _ position of temptation, I went to set the helmet back on the table. 

When I did, however, Hunter put his hand on the other side and gave it a small push back in my direction. “You can put it on for a minute if you’d like.”

Surprised, I slowly picked it back up. “You sure?”

He nodded. 

A smile spread across my face. “Thanks, Sergeant!” Taking care not to poke something I shouldn’t, I slowly slipped it over my head. 

Ok, it was definitely heavier than it looked. “Uh Sarge what do these blinky lights mean?” I asked, voice bouncing around inside the helmet. I sounded  _ weird  _ with this thing on. “I’m not gonna damage something am I?”

“The comm only goes to my squad, and the HUD is not active right now.”

Suddenly a beep made me jump before a familiar voice rasped, “We’re on our way back. Is the foul mouthed furball awake yet?” 

“Hunter how do I respond to the comm?” 

Swallowing his laugh, Hunter reached over and pressed his fingers against the side of the helmet and nodded to me. 

“The foul mouthed furball is right here, you miserable coat hanger.” 

Silence stretched out for a few moments before Wrecker’s laughter came through the comm. “Mornin’,  _ Haran’ika! _ ”

Crosshair’s voice came soon after. “Where’s Hunter?” he demanded. 

“Relax, Twiggs. He’s sittin’ across from me right now.” I slipped the helmet off and passed it back to Hunter. 

Hunter slid the helmet on. “Meet us in the lobby by the library.” Once he finished the call, he pulled the helmet back off. “Coat hanger?”

“He’s spindly,” I shrugged, then rubbed my neck. “Y’all must have some strong necks to constantly keep your head upright with that.”

“You get used to it after a month or two.”

“How long have-” I cut myself off with a wince. “Ah, Sorry. Shouldn't ask that…”

“How long have we been off that stormy cesspool Kamino?” Hunter asked. 

I shrank into myself, certain I heard agitation in his tone. Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. Either way, the effect was the same. Ever wonder what it’s like to have social anxiety? Second guess _every_ _single_ social cue and tone shift. Every single one. Even a shift in texting punctuation could set it off. In short, it was a _royal_ pain in the ass. “Didn’t mean to overstep, sorry Sergeant.” 

He remained quiet, no doubt watching as my face grew red yet again. “Stop that,” he finally said after a few moments ticked by. “You didn’t overstep.”

“You sure?” I asked uncertainly, eyes darting between his.

“Positive.” His hand twitched, almost as if he was about to reach out but stopped himself before his hand could move. “I told you, I don’t mind you asking. As long as it’s not about military secrets.”

I laughed softly at the joking tone, still certain I overstepped and now he hated me. 

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Hunter asked, leaning back in his chair.

“No no, I do!”

An eyebrow slowly raised, but Hunter’s expression was anything but critical. No, he looked… sympathetic. Or was I misreading social cues again? Or was it facial cues in this case?

_ Fuck society… why it gotta be so damn finicky? This is why I prefer to be a hermit in my room. My Freddy Funko Pop and Psychedelic Snowman don’t play this ring around the rosie.  _

“Shadow.”

“Fine… I don’t…” I admitted. “But damage is done now I guess.”

“Kark, you’re bad as Crosshair when it comes to beating yourself up for no reason,” Hunter groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

_ Bad as Crosshair _ ? I frowned, cocking my head to the side.  _ He’s got the same issue? Wouldn't think it from that sandpaper exterior. Then again… easier to attack someone first and act mean than let them get the upper hand and attack you first. Ah, self protection mechanisms. Equally useful and sabotaging.  _ “That’s the second time I’ve been likened to Crosshair, not sure how I feel about that,” I replied. 

“You don’t hate him.”

Not a question, a statement. 

“Well… no. I don’t. He’s just a prickly murder twig.”

A small, wry smile crept across Hunter’s tattooed face. “You’ve got more in common than you think.”

I frowned. “ _ Really _ not sure how to feel about that one.”

Hunter shook his head in amusement before he said, “We’ve been causing chaos and being a thorn in the clanker army’s collective tin can ass for around six months. After the Separatists tried to take Kamino, Commander Cody said us “different” clones deserved a second chance. We owe him our freedom.” He looked down at his armor. “Well, partial freedom. He got us off that damp hunk of space rock and gave us the designation Clone Force Ninety-Nine after a brother who fell in the fight while trying to get them more ammo.”

“Ninety nine...” I murmured softly. “A soldier in the end.”

Hunter looked at me, somewhat surprised. “You know of him? He was a maintenance clone, I didn’t think his name would leave Kamino. Especially since the longnecks saw him as a failure.”

“Fuck those self righteous tapeworms and everything they stand for,” I spat, white hot rage rippling through me. “None of you are failures. Not a single one. You aren’t  _ products  _ or  _ experiments  _ or  _ assets _ . You’re  _ men  _ and deserve to be treated as such.”

“Hmm, not many in the galaxy think like that,” Hunter remarked in a matter of fact way. Yet he almost sounded… resigned to that. Like he knew there was nothing that could ever change their mind.

That only made me madder. “Then they can fuck themselves with a rusty chainsaw,” I hissed.

Hunter chuckled and raised his glass in a half joking manner. “I’ll drink to that.”

I nodded firmly and raised my glass towards his as well. “Cheers to the deaths of the tapeworms.”

“Cheers.”

Just as we finished off the last of the juice, a knock at the door startled me. As per usual, the years of training kicked in on instinct and I raised my hands in readiness to fight. Hunter had grabbed his knife, already halfway out of his chair, when we turned and looked at each other. 

A voice from the other side caused an identical scowl on both our faces. “Shads!”

Trevor was back.

Lovely.

“Door’s presumably unlocked,” I grumbled, lowering my hands as Hunter slowly sat back down.

The door opened and in strolled Trevor, a grin on his face as usual. 

How this man could be cheery at this hour, I had no idea.

But once I laid eyes on the pack in his hands, everything else immediately vanished from my mind.

“No way…” I gasped, stumbling out of my chair and over to Trevor. 

He laughed. “Figured you’d recognize it!”

“Are you kiddin’?!” I exclaimed, snatching it from him. “How could I not recognize my magical Tardis bag?”

“Your  _ what _ ?” Hunter asked, standing back up and walking over. 

“My Tardis!” I may have only seen a grand total of a quarter of a single  _ Doctor Who _ episode, but I knew the Tardis. Bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside.

I had a bag I called the Tardis in real life, as well as a bigger “Super Tardis” that served as my computer bag, but this was special.

For it really was bigger on the inside. Not just bigger, but  _ endless _ . No matter how much you put in, you never ran out of room. Then, when you needed an item, all you had to do was name the item and reach in.

It had been an invaluable resource in the Tintin fandom but now? Oh boy it was perfect.

“Watch this!” I said, grabbing my smaller pack. Opening the top of my Tardis, revealing a dark void, I picked up the first pack and dropped it in. It vanished in an instant.

Hunter’s eyes widened. “An endless pack?!”

“Yep!”

“Packed it full of everything you’ll need,” Trevor assures me. “Med kits, parachute cord, rain gear, extra clothes, sleeping bags, bug spray, nutrition bars, the works. Plus! I threw in the map plus a copy in case you get separated in the tunnels.” 

I looked up sharply. Oh fuck. That was not good. “If?” I asked hesitantly. 

Trevor shrugged. “Never know.”

My eyes narrowed. “You do, mister Prophecy.”

Hunter jerked his head towards Trevor. “ _ Prophecy _ ?”

Trevor flashed a grin at him. “Yep! Say, where’d you get that nice tattoo? Really looks good on you.”

Hunter’s head jerked backwards. “Excuse me?”

“Trev, stop flirtin’ with Hunter,,” I muttered, rolling my eyes. “Don’t think he swings that way.” 

“You think the big guy does?” Trevor asked, laughing when I glared at him. He held up his hands in surrender. “Ok ok… what about the matchstick?”

“Now  _ that _ I’d like to see. Crosshair would beat your ass,” I laughed dryly.

“Back up, he has the ability to see the  _ future _ ?” Hunter demanded, pointing to Trevor. 

“Bits of it, yeah.”  _ At least, if he were a normal Rageryan. Trevor’s just overpowered. Why didn’t I call him Gary Stu? He’s got the power-level for it... _

Hunter narrowed his eyes at Trevor. “You knew then that our first meeting with Shadow would go wrong.” 

“One doesn’t need to be a prophetic fella to see that! She doesn’t give in easily at all,” Trevor laughed. “But in all seriousness-”

“You, serious? This outta be good,” I snorted.

“Oh it is, Shads.” He looked off to the side, humor fading from his face. 

A chill ran down my spine at that. Trevor may have been as goofy and laid back as they came but… he wasn’t an idiot. That’s not how I created him to be. When a situation was legitimately serious, that cheerful naivety vanished. Just like now.

“Trev… what’s going on?” 

Green eyes found mine once more. “James vanished in the middle of the night. Then I checked the transmission records… he’s called in a battalion of droids. They’ll be here in three days.”

Oh… fuck. Shit. Ass. That was less than desirable. Just a bit. An entire battalion?  _ At least I’m with a four man army…  _ “Well well well, if it ain’t the consequences of my own actions coming to bite me in the ass,” I grumbled, sighing heavily. “Joyous.”

“You are surprisingly calm for someone who just got told they may be the target of a battalion of clankers,” Hunter remarked, crossing his arms.

“You kiddin’?” I said with a dry laugh, raising an eyebrow at the sergeant. “I’m with  _ Clone Force 99 _ . Y’all are your own little army. An army with a one hundred percent success rate at that. I ain’t worried ‘bout no droids. If Jamie wants to dance, then I’m ready to tango.” I frowned. “Or something like that. I don’t know man, it’s early and my brain is on the fritz from hardly any sleep.”

“I get the sentiment,” Hunter snorted, heading towards the door and scooping his helmet off the table as he went. “Come on, we’ll grab some food to eat on the way and just shove it in your Tarkis.” 

“Tardis.”

“Whatever.”

“Hold it, mate,” I called. “I’m gonna grab some firepower for myself.”

“Recommend Kindness and Tommy!” Trevor called as I left for the stash. “I packed ammo for those two from the armory.”

_ The fuck? We got an armory? Why wasn’t I informed sooner?! I could have made out like a bandit! _

Trevor continued, “I also added some fun-powder for you as well!”

“Tannerite?” I asked hopefully, a grin spreading across my face. 

The hybrid laughed. “Tannerite!” 

“Yas!” I  _ loved  _ that stuff. Even with my .22, that stuff could make a pretty big bang. Put a bag of dry ice on top, shoot the jar, and  _ KA-BOOM _ . There was a smile on my face and a new hole in my uncle’s yard. 

_ Reminds me… I should try to find my phone. See if it’s got that quirk again of endless power and mysterious Wi-Fi no matter where I go.  _

“Be right back, Hunter!” I called over my shoulder. “This won’t take but a second!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I blew a hole in my uncles yard.   
> Yes, I have the video.   
> I was 14 and regret nothing! :D


	4. Ch. 4 Grow On You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two days since the last update and I'm back already?   
> Well yes, but actually no. 
> 
> I start college back tomorrow and since I'll have to completely relearn how to pace myself learn how to do virtual classes plus manage work loads and everything else, I'll have to take a break from writing Adventures of an Idiot until I get a good rhythm with school.   
> Could be a week, could be two, could be three!   
> I'm really not sure.   
> I'm no fool. I know I'll probably lose readers over the hiatus but it do be like that.   
> Thanks for sticking with me this long!  
> Ooof that sounds like a goodbye, ew.
> 
> I wanted to at least post this chapter before I left so I don't get caught up and don't have time to post it. So you get rougher quality than usual.
> 
> Content Warning: Talk of anxiety, ghosting, and emotional baggage because writing is my therapy so y'all learning way more about me than you EVER cared to.

The more Hunter talked to that woman, the more confused he became. How could she know 99? Even more, she seemed to know him well.  _ How _ ? Hunter himself had only met 99 a few times, and that was because of Tech. The two had been quite close, and the maintenance clone’s death hit Tech the hardest out of them all. It was also Tech who preferred to refer to themselves as Clone Force 99, while Hunter, Crosshair, and Wrecker preferred “Bad Batch”. 

_Did she visit Kamino once? No, she couldn’t have_. Hunter felt certain that if she had… they would have heard about a wild half-animal, half-human woman slaughtering longnecks. She clearly did _not_ like them any more than Hunter or the rest of his team, and he certainly did not put it past her to murder them on sight. 

While she was quite… volatile when woken up, Hunter enjoyed her playfully sarcastic personality and dry witty humor. A welcome change from Wrecker’s explosive enthusiasm, Crosshair’s downright cynicism, and Tech’s taking everything literally. Being around her was like a breath of fresh air after breathing through the helmet’s filters all day. 

She’d looked… good in his helmet. The Sergeant was glad he let her try it on, especially since she got a jab in at Crosshair. It was funny seeing her best the sniper again and again, although Hunter could have done without the incident earlier. 

They didn’t hate each other. That was perhaps what shocked Hunter the most about how Shadow dealt with Crosshair. She didn’t  _ hate  _ him.

Most strangers would immediately be rubbed the wrong way by Crosshair and try to cut him with a knife or cruel words. But there was a difference in the way Shadow went after him. They weren’t  _ fighting _ . They were sparring with words. 

Crosshair could deny it all he wanted, but Hunter knew he respected her. Grudgingly perhaps, but it was still there. Respect was a start, a step towards…

Towards what? 

Friendship? 

Maybe. They  _ were  _ quite alike. In more ways than one. Maybe with a little nudging they’d come to tolerate each other’s presence. 

_ They’ll grow on each other eventually, given how often they’ll be around one another _ .

He started to follow her, intent on seeing which gun was which, but Trevor stopped him with a hand blocking his path. “Woah, Sergeant. She’s comin’ right back.”

“I understand that,” he grumbled, pushing the Halfblood’s hand away. Trevor, not counting his almost crazy personality, unnerved Hunter. He was definitely more dangerous than he looked and acted. That was not even taking into account his lightning powers. Something about him just set Hunter’s instincts off. 

“You know, if you want her to trust you, you need to show  _ you  _ trust  _ her _ .” Trevor’s voice lowered. “Words don’t cut it, she needs actions as proof.”

_ She really is similar to Crosshair _ . “Does she always act like she’s committed a crime when asking people questions?” Hunter asked, lowering his voice as well. Maybe Trevor would give him some answers as to her sudden mood shift, or confirm it was just anxiety. 

Trevor glanced towards the hallway. “Sometimes. See… she’s been ghosted before.”

“Ghosted?” Hunter echoed. 

“Ghosted is a term used when someone suddenly ceases all contact with you and vanishes from your life without a word.”

“Why’d the person do that to her?” Hunter asked incredulously. When the mission was over, Hunter fully intended to keep Shadow as a contact for future reference. A shapeshifting elemental with weapons experience and hand to hand combat skills, not to mention the ability to match his men stride for stride, would definitely come in handy later. But not only that… Hunter truly enjoyed being around her. It’d been less than a standard day, but he couldn’t imagine cutting all contact with her.

“Not one person.  _ Three _ .”

Hunter stared at Trevor. “ _ Three _ ?” he echoed softly. 

Trevor nodded. “They were close friends too. When someone who you not only cared about but valued the opinion of suddenly ceases all contact without explanation, you’re left to blame yourself. It can… mess with you. You begin to rethink every little signal from a person, and everything you yourself say, because in your mind, you never know what will cause someone to abandon you like others before them.”

_ No shit it can mess with you.  _ “She shouldn’t be attached to us, she’s known us hardly a day,” Hunter said with a shake of his head. Even as he said it, Hunter knew she wasn’t the only one who’d formed an attachment. 

“She’s known  _ of _ you for longer. She really likes you guys. You’re misfits, like her. You show that being different isn’t a bad thing.”

Hunter never would have thought he or the others would be seen as  _ inspiration  _ of all things. They were examples of the bad way to do things. The dirty way. The faulty way. The  _ wrong  _ way. 

Shadow really was full of surprises.

“But that’s why she acts funny when asking questions?” Hunter asked the Halfblood. “She’s been ghosted?”

“Yeah. Her brain will tell her out of nowhere she’s a burden to everyone around her. So whatever you do, do  _ not _ tell her she is. Or even hint to that in your words. Because I promise you.” Trevor’s eyes flashed brighter for a moment. “It will come back and  _ bite  _ you.”

Was that just a warning or… was Trevor saying he’d seen that happen in the current future? “I don’t find belittling people helpful,” Hunter growled. “What are you getting at?”

“All I’m saying is this. Break someone’s heart, don’t be surprised when they try to break your neck.”

Now Trevor really was being unnerving. “Her  _ heart _ ? Shadow doesn’t care about us like that.”

“We’ll see. A lot can happen over five days.”

Hunter did  _ not _ care for Trevor’s ominous warnings. “If I did come to care about her like that, I  _ especially  _ would not tell her that.”

“Oh, I’m not talking about  _ you _ .” There was no humor or lightheartedness in the hybrid’s tone. 

“Are you implying one of my men will break her heart?” 

“Just be ready. But know this. Shadow will only attack if she feels threatened.” 

“What-”

“One more thing,” Trevor continued. His eyes met Hunter’s, and the sergeant felt a chill run through him. “The ability to see the future… it can be a real  _ nightmare _ at times.” 

Hunter, ready to yell at Trevor to either tell what he knew or shut up, stopped himself when he saw Shadow reemerge from the hallway. He tried to hide his agitation and unease, but Shadow immediately picked up on it.

“Ok I also pack my lightsa- Hunter, you ok? You look spooked.”

“Fine.”

She raised an eyebrow and glanced at Trevor. “The fuck did you do?”

“Me? I didn’t do anything!” Trevor said, spreading his hands in front of him.

“Yeah, and I love wearin’ a dress. Spill.”

_ She doesn’t like dresses? I’m sure she’d look nice in one… _

Why was he  _ even  _ thinking about that?

A rough nudge from Trevor saved his thoughts from spiraling. 

“Oh, I was just givin’ the sergeant some advice for the trail!” Trevor said breezily, his joking manner on display once more. 

“Yeah,” Hunter said with a nod, wanting to shove the ominous warnings to the back of his mind for now. “Just advice.”

Shadow’s eyes narrowed. For all her talk of  _ him _ having a “Soul Stare”, hers wasn’t half bad. Hold on… were her eyes shifting colors? He swore they were now more green than they’d been a minute ago. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t heard of people’s eyes shifting shades depending on their mood, but it still made him want to fidget. 

_ You will  _ **_not_ ** _ fidget. You’re trained better than that. You’re an officer! _ “It was nothing more. Are you ready to go or not, Ice?” 

“Ice?” Trevor echoed, looking from him to Shadow. “You told him about what Tom used to call you?” 

_ That’s _ why she acted funny! One of the sailors called her that! But why? Hunter knew why  _ he _ called her that. Her ice comment yesterday would always stick with him even after they parted ways. But what reason did the sailors have to call her that? Or had she made the comment with them as well? 

After all, from what she said they hadn’t exactly been friendly with each other at the start. 

“I did not,” Shadow replied, ears twitching. 

Hunter couldn’t help but stare as they moved. Her face was so  _ animated _ when she got talking. It also aided Hunter in better guessing what she was thinking. He’d come to recognize the quicker back and forth movements as unease. Straight back and staying there seemed to happen both when she was offended, agitated, and angry. Only one ear meant she was listening to something, since her head often turned as well. 

Hunter was definitely beginning to understand why Tech liked to study different species.

“Then…” Realization lit up Trevor’s face. “Ah! The ice comment yesterday?” 

There went the ears straight back. “Aye.” 

Trevor laughed. “Well, it was pretty funny.”

“This is my amused face.” Deadpan, she glared at Trevor. “See how amused I am? See me keelin’ over from mirth?” 

“Why yes, that I do,” Trevor teased. “Oh! Speaking of advice, I have some for you!”

“Joy.”

Hunter stifled a snort of laughter. 

“May want to go ahead and switch to Beta mode, it’ll be handier.”

Hunter’s head jerked, his attention fully on Shadow now. Beta mode? What was  _ that _ ? 

“Really? Is this an omen or just a general suggestion?” Shadow sighed, sliding the pack off her shoulders. 

“General suggestion.”

Hunter felt his beat faster as it had yesterday when she powered up and kicked James’ ass. What would the transformation look like? How would she look after? 

_ You’re turning into Tech, _ Hunter scolded himself. 

“Well, guess I may as well,” Shadow sighed, closing her eyes. A faint layer of mist or smoke, Hunter was unsure as it had no odor, covered Shadow and when it dissipated, Hunter couldn’t help but stare. 

Shadow was now only an inch or so shorter than himself, not counting the furry feline ears that had replaced her human ones. Her lower legs were now covered in fur bearing the same pattern as the feline from last night and a thick tail swished back and forth behind her longer legs. 

_ Guess this is Beta fo-… wow _ . 

So  _ that _ was why the sailors called her ‘Ice’. Instead of human eyes, he found himself staring into the eyes of the animal from last night. No white could be seen, and he swore her pupil had narrowed slightly to cope with the light. 

She caught him staring. “Sarge?” Her teeth definitely looked sharper now. 

“You’re taller.” The moment the dumb comment left of his lips, he cursed himself. 

_ What was in that juice I drank?! _

“Aye.” Her ears wiggled, but Hunter was unsure now what emotion that was in response to. “If I shifted up again into Alpha, I’d be even taller. I’m not full grown yet, or I  _ could _ rival Wrecker.” 

Keeping his eyes at a reasonable size was harder than it should have been. “Rival Wrecker?” 

“If Trevor was an adult he may be over seven feet tall.” 

_ When she said they were warrior species… she was not kidding.  _ A semi-horrible thought sprang into his head. What did non-humanoid predators look like on their planet? 

“Oh,” was all he said. 

Shadow laughed and picked up her bag. Slinging it onto her shoulder, she walked over and Hunter realized she could basically look him in the eyes. 

Tech would  _ not _ be happy at being the shortest once again. 

“Well, Sarge. Shall we go down and meet your men?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See y'all later! Will stop in and out of tumblr some for worldbuilding and Shadows Saturday Doodle Dump ^^
> 
> Also! Since people asked, the video mentioned in the last chapter with "Fun Powder" is on my tumblr!


	5. Ch. 5 Emotions are Pesky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Been a while, but I'm literally dying with school and various other life things. 
> 
> This chapter is messy af, a bit sparse, mainly me crushing on Wrecker now, and a bit of a vent at one point, but I hope you enjoy nevertheless!
> 
> Warnings:  
> Slight suggestive material, talk of emotional trauma from past relationships (because I was writing while in a bitter mood), and ominous warnings.

I didn’t know  _ what _ Trevor had told Hunter, but I could  _ definitely  _ tell whatever it was had unnerved the sergeant. Badly. 

Since Trevor had gone off to do who knows what, Hunter and I were alone on the elevator ride down which I noticed now was quite loud. I could hear gears and servos faintly screeching, a sound which made my ears twitch. 

My back felt quite a bit stronger, probably to help hold my tail up. The thing was admittedly heavy. 

“Hey, Hunter.”

Hunter glanced my way. Since his helmet was tucked under his arm, I could see his eyes drift to my ears before coming back. 

“What exactly did Trevor tell you?”

The man was silent for a moment before he replied, “Something about the ability to see the future being a nightmare.”

Oh he did  _ not _ . “Ah.”

“Is there something I should know?”

I contemplated telling him about my dreams occasionally revealing possible future events like some twisted  _ Christmas Carol _ gone wrong, but ultimately decided against it. Too hard to explain. “No, he’s just being Trevor.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Hunter’s eyes went once more to my ears and now my tail. “You should have stayed in that other form. Your ears and tail give you away now.”

Shit. 

The doors whooshed open, giving me an escape route… which Hunter quickly blocked by pressing the button to hold the doors closed. 

“Shadow, what did he mean by that?” 

“Sarge,” I said, tail bristling uneasily. “It’s a really bad idea to corner me in a confined space like this. Open the door.” 

“I’ll open it once you tell me.”

A faint grating sound filled the elevator as my claws slid out and scraped the floor. “I’ll tell you once you open the door,” I countered. 

Deep brown eyes held mine for a moment before the sergeant lifted his finger from the button and allowed the doors to open back up. 

I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly exited the elevator. That was… unpleasant. But at least I learned something new. Hunter had flecks of gold in his eyes. Cliché as it was, I still appreciated the distinction. 

How I didn’t see it before, I have no idea. Maybe the elevator lighting was just right. I was also closer to his eyes, having gained six inches in height. 

Boy was Tech in for a shock when I stood taller than him. Did his eyes have the same gold fleck trait? I couldn’t really tell with the goggle-glasses thing he had going on. 

Hunter’s hand on my shoulder pulling me back reminded me I had other issues. 

Years of training were hard to shake, and a strike to the bundle of nerves at his wrist as I jerked into a backstance caused Hunter to abruptly draw his hand back. 

My ears flattened. “Boy, don’t do that when I’m on edge!”

“Nice block,” he grunted, rolling his wrist. 

My cheeks, annoyingly, grew warm. “Er, thanks.”

“Right, you… what was it? Short circuit from compliments?”

_ Your little smirk ain’t helping matters!  _ “You may be one of the few men who  _ isn’t _ one of my martial arts instructors who actually compliments me when I hit him.”

“I appreciate skill, no matter the circumstance.”

“Ah ha, I see,” I said in mock annoyance. “You’re tryin’ to make my short circuit to the point I slip and tell you what you want to know, huh, Shaggy?”

A brow raised. “Depends.”

“On?”

“Is it working?”

I smiled dryly. “Hunter used Compliment. It was very effective!” 

Another faint grin. “Ha.”

I paused, gathering my thoughts, before replying, “Look, sometimes… my dreams… well Trevor ain’t the only one who can see the future around here.”

Hunter’s brows lifted. “You’re prophetic too?!” 

“No,” I corrected. “He’s able to see the  _ actual  _ future. I see the  _ possible  _ future. But only for bad stuff.”

“And this happens in your nightmares?” Hunter asked. He sounded a bit… sympathetic? 

“They  _ are _ my nightmares. It’s sucky.” 

Hunter made to respond, but Scooter approaching caused the sergeant to rethink and abandon his response. 

“Hey Shads, there you are! Two of the clones headed into the armory, the big fella and the graveyard wraith.”

“Is just a common trait of this outpost to call people anything but their name?” Hunter groaned. 

“Now where’s the fun in that?” I snorted. 

Hunter rolled his eyes and muttered, “If Wrecker’s found his way into the armory… well hope you didn’t need your explosives because he’s probably already stolen them.” 

“I certainly ain’t gonna stop him!” Scooter laughed. “The small fry went into the library again.”

Hunter turned his focus to me. “I’ll get Cross and Wrecker. You get Tech. We’ll meet you there.”

“Roger that.” I immediately winced. “Ah, fuck. That… I wasn’t… that wasn’t a droid reference.” 

Hunter shook his head. “It’s fine. We’ll see you in a few.” 

“Gotcha.”

As Hunter walked away, Scooter nudged me with a grin. “Handsome trooper. I see why he’s your second favorite.” 

“He can hear you,” I growled, flicking Scooter in the forehead. 

The ginger just grinned before departing to cause chaos elsewhere. Shaking my head, I headed towards the library. I was glad the self insert had already gotten me instinctively accustomed to the tail thing, or something like that, because figuring out how to work in this form would be way too much effort. 

Oh that was probably why. It was too much to add me getting used to this form and struggle hiding my lack of familiarity with it from the Bad Batch. Hell, I’d probably do the same. Self inserts were often for the sole sake of fun. 

I walked in to see Tech, helmet on the table, standing over a pile of books, thoroughly engrossed in whatever he was deciphering. I came up beside him, but he still didn’t acknowledge me. 

Wow… I really was taller than him. I knew I would be but… wow it was weird. It did give me enough height to notice that his hair was a bit spiky. Kinda like Crosshair’s. 

_ Get your mind off the twig and focus on the cinnamon roll _ . “Hey nerd,” I greeted. 

“Hello, Shad-” Tech turned his head. “Oh!” His eyes flew wide. “Your ears!” He gasped and darted behind me. “You have a tail! And your lower legs!” 

I blinked in mild shock as the technician dropped to the floor to examine them. 

“Why, your feet are plantigrade!” 

“Easier to balance my upright weight,” I said, tail swishing back and forth. 

Tech immediately reached for the fluffy extension of my spine, only to give a slight pout as I moved it out of his reach. “Just one fur sample?”

“What is it with you and yoinkin’ bits of me?” I grumbled, ears flattening. 

Still sitting on the floor, enviously eyeing my tail, Tech protested, “The scientific value you posses-“

“I’m my own person, not some lab specimen,” I reminded him. 

“I did not mean…” His eyes drifted higher up. “How does your tail attach to your spine?”

_ You, sir, are staring  _ **_straight_ ** _ at my ass.  _ “My eyes are up here.”

Tech looked up, and sprung from the floor. “Your eyes changed! The sclera now-” He took a step back and looked me up and down. “You… grew.” 

“She certainly did!” 

I couldn’t help the smile that tugged the corners of my mouth at Wrecker’s excited yell. He may have broken my plate and woke me up early but… I just couldn’t stay mad at him. I looked over to see the demolition expert jogging over, Hunter and Crosshair lagging behind at a walk. The enthusiastic smile on Wrecker’s face stretching ear to ear… 

My gut was a butterfly garden again. It was always the big goofy strong ones that I fell head over heels for. 

_ Now… I could  _ **_swear_ ** _ Tech is pouting. Don’t look at him, you’ll make it worse!  _ “Howdy, Wreck,” I laughed. “Find anything good in the armory?” 

“Oh yeah!” he grinned. “Gonna need it too! Sarge told us about that bastard and his clankers!” 

I matched his grin. “I see someone’s ready to cause some chaos!”

“It’s what we do best!” Wrecker boasted, beating his chest with a fist as he flashed me a feral smile. 

I laughed and shook my head. “Doubt I can match you, but I got my own fireworks here in my pack.”

“Can’t wait to see what you’re capable of in battle,  _ Haran’ika _ !” Wrecker laughed, nudging me in the shoulder before looking at Tech. “Hey! She’s taller than you now, squirt!” 

It took all I had not to laugh at Tech’s disgruntled face. Poor guy was just having a bad day. I glanced towards Crosshair. The sniper had been staring at me with narrowed eyes, but a look of challenge spread across his face when I met his gaze. 

Slowly making his way up to me, he looked me up and down before removing his toothpick and pointing it at me. “Someone’s in a cheery mood.”

“Yeah, well Wrecker sparks joy.” I flicked my tail to indicate the large clone. “Unlike your grim reaper knockoff looking ass.”

Wrecker’s booming laugh echoed through the library. Slinging an arm over my shoulder, he teased Crosshair, “See, she likes me best!”

“You’re both children. Makes sense you two get along,” Crosshair snorted, rolling his eyes as he settled the toothpick back between his teeth. 

“Wow, child and brat are all  _ really _ you can think of?” I shot back. 

Dark brown eyes slowly looked me up and down, inspecting me. Analyzing me. “Oh, I could come up with much more,” he said with a small smirk. 

I did  _ not  _ appreciate the chill that decided to slide down my spine.

_ Fire back! Return fire! Return fire! _

“Considering how many steps ahead I am in that regard, you’ve got a  _ lot _ of catchin’ up to do.” I paused. “ _ Ram’ser. _ ”

The only movement from Crosshair was the twitch of the toothpick as it went still. 

Hunter raised an eyebrow at me. “Thought you only knew  _ insults  _ in  _ Mando’a _ .”

“I’m full of surprises,” I said, not moving my eyes from Crosshair’s. 

_ What are you thinkin’, Cross? Huh? What’s going on in that sniper brain of yours? _

“I suppose you are, furball,” Crosshair remarked after a long pause. He didn’t look shocked, exactly. But his exact mood was a mystery. His slip up this morning must have caused him to put up his shields even more to avoid being caught out like that again. 

“You kiddin’?” Wrecker laughed, causing me to look up at him. “I’ll bet she’s  _ always  _ got something up her sleeve!” 

“She isn’t wearing sleeves right now,” Tech pointed out. 

“Metaphor, Tech,” Hunter said, shaking his head. He glanced at me, a small “Gotta love him” smile spreading across his face. 

“I know what a metaphor is!” Tech protested, stepping up to Hunter. 

The sergeant raised his hands in mock surrender while keeping his helmet tucked under his arm.

I’d be a liar if I said their back and forth wasn’t heartwarming. 

This is what they deserved. To be just… brothers. Not worrying about dying in a war for a Republic who cared little about their lives, their hopes, dreams, personalities, fears…

It took me a moment to notice the men were looking at me funny. Or rather my... backside?

I looked back.

Oh, not my backside. Rather my furiously bristling tail that had begun to twitch at the tip again. 

“Shadow? Everything ok?” Tech asked cautiously. 

“Yeah! Just… thinkin’,” I mumbled. 

“What about?” Hunter asked. 

_ How fucking unfair it all is. You risk your lives, day after day, and why? For what? Where’s your reward? You fight for the freedom of billions while the same is denied to you. No thank you. No recognition. No  _ **_respect_ ** _. It’s not fair! Where does it get you in the end? What happens after you spend all these years fighting? You become a mindless drone. All you have is your personalities and in the end even that is ripped away. You give it all… and get  _ **_nothing_ ** **.**

“Nothin’,” I said softly, shaking my head. Before they could ask another question, I cleared my throat and straightened up. “So!” I forced a smile. “Let’s go grab some food and be on the way! Shall we?” 

“Alright! Food!” Wrecker cheered, punching the air excitedly. 

Tech on the other hand was not as enthusiastic. “B-But I just got these books out! I was scanning the pages for information about this world and the possible fauna we will encounter...”

Hunter seemed to ponder that. “Wrecker, you go with Shadow. We will meet you at the entrance to the building in T-minus ten minutes.”

_ More splitting up? Odd. We just got back together. But hey, get to hang with Wrecker alone a little bit!  _ That alone lifted my spirits. “Copy that! C’mon big guy, let’s get some vittles!”

Another grin from the big guy further drove away the sadness. 

Oh I was a  _ goner _ . Between him and Hunter?  _ Prepare for trouble and make it double. _

“Hey, Cross! Decided to come too?” 

_ That is not what I had in mind! _

“Makin’ sure she doesn’t try to jump you.”

“I could never hurt Wrecker,” I huffed. “Both because he’s my favorite, and uh look at the size of him. I’m not beatin’ that.”

“It’s muscle!” Wrecker protested, but the pout he gave me barely hid the grin. 

“Of course it is, big fella,” I teased. 

Look, I couldn’t resist bantering with him. His joy and energy were contagious. 

“I’ll prove it!”

I wasn’t surprised when my feet left the ground. But my retaliation was swift as I snatched the helmet off his head. “Mine now.” 

Wrecker cocked his head to the side. “Put it on! I wanna see how it looks on ya!”

Crosshair rolled his eyes. “She’s already tried Hunter’s helmet. Don’t encourage her.” 

“C’mon,  _ Haran’ika _ !” Wrecker encouraged. “I wanna see!”

Taking off my hat, I slid the helmet on and it predictably hit my shoulders. It squished my ears and  _ really _ smelled like Wrecker. “Your helmet just swallowed my head.”

“Changed my mind.” 

Both Wrecker and I looked to Crosshair in surprise. 

“It’s an improvement.” 

“You really are a sour puss, Twiggy,” I snorted, slipping the helmet back off and setting it on Wrecker’s head. “There’s your hat back.”

“Thanks,  _ Haran’ika _ !” Wrecker laughed. “Let’s get the food!”

I expected him to put me down, but instead he continued to carry me towards the cafeteria. “Yo, Wreck, I got legs!”

“They’re nice legs too!”

_ My face better not be red _ . “Uh huh, put me down.” 

“But I like carryin’ ya! And ya don’t weigh nothin’!” 

“I get you’re a strong boy, but I like my feet on the ground. Besides, we’ll need to store the food in my pack!” 

“Aw, ok,” Wrecker groaned, letting me slip from his arms back down to the floor. 

“Thanks, Wreck.” 

Back on the floor, I led the way as we went and collected some food for the trail. Bringing it back, we stopped at a table and spread it out. 

“Ya can’t carry all this,  _ Haran’ika _ !” 

“Are you sure about that?” I said with a grin, setting down my pack. “Gentleman, and Crosshair.” 

The sniper just glared at me. 

“Behold, my magical backpack.” I unzipped it and held it open for them to see. “Empty, right?”

“Just like the space between your ears,” Crosshair remarked. 

“And the space in your chest,” I retorted before continuing, “Looks are deceiving, for it is not empty at all! Rather, what’s inside is kept hidden away until it’s needed! For example.” I reached in. “Food storage.”

Something plastic materialized in my hand and I pulled out a tupperware container. Except… “Tupperware, more like tupper-where the fuck is the lid?” Reaching back in, I said, “Lid.”

I pulled out a hat. Glaring at it, I tossed it onto the table beside the tupperware container. “ _ Tupperware _ lid.” 

That time, I got what I needed. “Finally.” 

“Woah! That’s awesome!” Wrecker exclaimed. Even Crosshair looked surprised. Wrecker continued, “How does it do that? Where’d ya get it?”

“Not sure, Trevor gave it to me.” 

“He your partner or somethin’?” Crosshair snorted.

“In crime, yes. Romantically, no. He swings the other way. Tried to flirt with Hunter actually.”

Wrecker laughed. “Hunter’s got his sights on someone else!”

_ Now what in the Sam Hill does  _ **_that_ ** _ mean?  _

“I don’t doubt it. Y’all been out causin’ chaos for six months, probably met a lot of girls.”

_ He probably means you, idiot.  _

_ Ha. Funny. Guys don’t like me, I’m just a practice girl. There’s always a better option. Just look at the history of guys we’ve dealt with.  _

“You’re crushin’ on my brother, aren’t you?” 

I glared at Crosshair. “I know where crushin’ on people gets me.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Ironically, that’s how I feel when it’s all over. Crushed!” 

“Surely one time it went well!” Wrecker protested. 

“Yeah, then towards the end when it got rocky and I mentioned splittin’ up the guy asked if he could date my friend who I knew he had a crush on before me. Proving what I knew all along.”

“What’s that?” 

I couldn’t meet Crosshair’s no doubt taunting gaze. “I was  _ always  _ Plan B.”

The silence stretched  _ way _ too long for my comfort. Damnit, couldn’t one of them say  _ something _ ? Instead of just staring at me? This is why I didn’t open up about why the fuck I hated any type of romance. It’d taken me three years to not associate romance as a fate worse than death. I hadn’t liked romantic shit to begin with, never did, but that shit  _ certainly _ didn’t help at all. 

A hand rested lightly across my upper back.“That pile of bantha-shit was a _di’kut_ _shabuir_ ,” Wrecker growled. 

A soft laugh rose from my chest. “ _ Shabuir… _ good way to to put it.” 

Wrecker patted me on the back. “I’m sorry he did that, Shads.” 

My ears twitched at the name, but I gave him a weak but grateful smile. “Thank, Wrecker.” Another soft laugh escaped me. “But I’ll tell you what, me and my friend got one hell of a laugh out of him askin’ that! Me and her had known each other since we were… three? So I had a good support system to fall back on. And I’m emotionally strong. I got through it. Just got a bit of bitterness and trust issues left over, but don’t we all?”

“Doesn’t make it right.”

To my surprise, the comment didn’t come from Wrecker. Crosshair looked even less happy than usual, a look akin to disgust on his face. 

_ You’re more complex than people give you credit for, Cross. There’s a kind soul in there somewhere. Maybe not kind, but at least understanding.  _

My tail flicked side to side. “Tell me about it.” 

“We should get back to Hunter, it’s been around ten minutes.”

I nodded. “Right. Let’s pack up and head out.” 

After storing all the food in various tupperware containers, we shoved them into my pack, in which they would be kept fresh, and headed to meet the others. Crosshair remained quieter than usual, while Wrecker seemed to walk closer. 

Funny how your brain can split in two and be simultaneously grateful for the sympathy yet at the same time loath it. Couldn’t I get one minute to myself without my two cranial hemispheres going to war? 

Reaching Hunter and Tech by the door, I saw Trevor had joined them. Oh great. 

Seeing me, he shot a sympathetic look my way. Right, he always knew when stuff like this happened. But Hunter took notice and raised an eyebrow as he looked from Trevor to me. I swear I saw the man’s nose twitch as he looked me over. 

Luckily for me, my sadness had dissipated on the walk back so the man couldn’t smell it at least. But he obviously knew something was up, which wasn’t helpful. 

“No issues getting the grub?” 

Crosshair was the one who responded. “No, all good.”

_ Define good _ . But he hadn’t been an ass for a bit so I was grateful for that at least. 

“Right,” Hunter said with a nod, but sent another glance my way. 

I shook my head as subtly as I could. Unfortunately… Tech saw it. 

“Shadow, what happened? Your tail is drooping.!”

“I did wake her up early.”

I couldn’t believe it, but I sent a silent thanks Crosshair’s way. “Yeah, Tech, I’m just tired.” 

“Can you lead us through the mountains, then? If you’re tired? What if you get us lost?”

“Then I’ll sleep and find my way back. Been out there enough.” 

“Plus there’s your Icespitter form if you need to do an aerial check,” Trevor added. 

Oh yeah… I  _ was _ a feline type. Granted I allowed feline types to access that form with Scarlett in mind, and her power was ice. Kinda like her lizard type grandfather Hannibal with his fire powers and him shifting into a Molten Maw. What would happen if I had the power of earth and shifted into that. Would I still spit ice? 

_ It’s your world, you decide canon.  _

_ Don’t give me that power _ . 

“Thought you were an Earth elemental,” Hunter commented. 

“I am.”

“Then what’s an Icespitter?” Tech asked. 

_ Do they have dragons? There’s the Kyrat or whatever dragon. Don’t risk it.  _ “Large winged feline that can spit ice. Hence the name Deadly Icespitter.”

“Oh!” Wrecker exclaimed. “Like a dragon!”

_ Welp.  _ “Exactly like that, actually. Well sorta. I’ll explain on the way, let’s get movin’.”

As we started walking towards the trailhead, Wrecker asked, “What does the dragon look like?”

“It’s a polar dweller. Feathered wings, thick fur, fluffy feet, tail like mine, saber teeth, and the front paws actually have a thumb.”

“That’s awesome! How big do ya get? Big as that form from last night?” 

“Bigger. Icespitters aren’t True Dragons, rather False Dragons, but they do get pretty big.” 

“What’s the difference?” Tech asked, edging closer as we walked. 

“False Dragons eat like you and me. Or any natural creature. They’re more along the lines of mortal beings.  _ True  _ Dragons however… they’re immense and feed not off organic matter, but magic itself.”

“Magic is big on your world then?” Tech asked. 

“You could say that. The True Dragons have fewer species, and fewer individuals. They’re  _ ancient _ beings, and  _ very _ wise. There’s a species for each major biome, and they have alliterative names. Lava Lurker, Mysterian Magi, Abyssal Annihilator, and so on. False Dragons are more numerous with more individuals, and reproduce organically. Deadly Icespitter, Molten Maw, Mystic Skywing, Deathsummoners, Tree Leapers, etcetera.”

“You know so much about your world and its species!” Tech exclaimed, smiling. 

_ Oh buddy you have  _ **_no_ ** _ idea. _

In no time we had reached the trailhead, Tech asking me various questions about different species. 

Stopping at the trailhead, Trevor asked, “Alright, got everything?”

“Think so,” I said, adjusting my pack. “You packed the thing.”

“This is true. Oh! Wait, one more thing!” Trevor said, grinning at me as he pulled something out of his pocket. “Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

I squinted at him. 

“Don’t worry, not a trick! You’ll like this, I know it.” The Halfblood’s smile turned sincere.

Sighing, I did as he said. Something was dropped into my hands. A… switchblade?

Opening my eyes, I nearly dropped it. 

No way… 

How… how did he…?

Where...?

But the fandoms didn’t connect! 

“Well?” Trevor prompted softly. 

Running my fingers over the crudely scratched ‘ _ From T to S _ ’, I looked up at him. “But… this is…”

“Figured it would bring you luck. Plus… a little reminder of better times for when you’re feeling down.”

A heartfelt smile spread across my face. “Trevor… thank you. Seriously… thank you.” I paused, then stepped forward and embraced the Halfblood. 

Chuckling, he returned it. “Stay safe, Shadow.” He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. 

I returned the Rageryan goodbye, pressing my forehead back against his before stepping back. 

He smiled. “I’ll check in. See how you’re doin’ on this next big adventure!”

“See ya, Trev,” I said, shoving him goodnaturedly. 

“One more thing!” His grin grew. “May the  _ Forest  _ be with you!”

“Hardy har, go back and bother Scooter,” I teased. Turning to the boys, I asked, “We all ready?”

“Tech’s already gone,” Crosshair snorted as he settled his helmet on his head, indicating the patch of white and red in the green foliage up ahead. 

“Guess we better catch up.” I waved on last time to Trevor and set out on the trail. 

I had no idea this would be the last time I saw the outpost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure when the next chapter will be out, but thank you for sticking with me!
> 
> Keep watch on tumblr for updates!


	6. Ch. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a long time and I'm sorry this note is brief, but I just cannot keep up with this and school anymore. My hyperfixation on these guys also has completely died. And it's kinda hard to write a romantic subplot when you don't feel connected to the characters anymore. This story is going on be on an indefinite hiatus. It may last until December, I just don't know. I'm teaching myself five classes, trying hard to keep up with all the assignments, and balance mental health on top. I just can't keep up. 
> 
> I don't think there's any warnings to be listed. If I missed one I am so sorry, but I just do not have the energy to proofread right now.   
> I will also be replying to the comments sometime in the future, I again just can't push myself to do it right now.

He couldn’t stop thinking about her eyes. Blues and greens swirling together, that gaze sharp and intense. Hunter hadn’t ever given much thought to the eyes of a feline, but seeing them stare back at him with the soul of a human lurking behind… it was a different sort of unsettling. The kind he did  _ not _ appreciate having to deal with. 

A commando. He was a damn  _ commando _ . And here he was getting worked up about a mountain guide’s  _ eyes _ of all things. 

_ You are a disaster, get a grip! _

“Would’ja stop pinin’?”

Hunter bristled as Crosshair’s voice rasped over his private comm. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I can see your vitals. Heart rate gets higher every time you look at the brat.”

_ Son of a Sith _ . “Focus on the mission, Cross,” Hunter gritted out through clenched teeth. 

“Sure, I’m the one who needs to focus.”

“I don’t care for your tone,” Hunter retorted. 

“Y’all know I can see you communicatin’, right?” Shadow asked as she walked alongside Hunter. “Your heads are movin’.”

Pushing down the urge to smack Crosshair for putting him in this situation, Hunter cleared his throat as he switched to the main comm. “Classified intel.”

Crosshair’s barely repressed snorting filled his helmet. “ _ That’s _ the excuse you’re gonna go with?” 

“Shut  _ up _ .”

“Gee, sorry.”

Hunter cursed as he realized he never switched to a private comm and had just said that for everyone to hear. Shadow’s look of shock and mild hurt did not help matters. “Crosshair’s being a  _ di’kut _ .”

Multicolored ears twitched back and forth. “That ain’t classified, everyone knows that.”

Wrecker laughed, nudging Shadow. “I’m likin’ ya more and more,  _ Haran’ika _ !”

The guide didn’t seem annoyed by Wrecker’s roughhousing. If anything, it had brought a smile to her face.

_ They would be a terrifying pair on the battlefield.  _

Why did his thoughts  _ always _ lead back to asking her to join their squad? She was  _ not _ a soldier. 

_ With a little guidance, anyone can be trained.  _

_ She probably is not capable of going into hard combat, _ Hunter argued with himself.

_ Take one look at her and you’d be lying if you didn’t think she’d slaughter a battalion of droids given the chance.  _

She  _ did _ seem prone to causing chaos. 

Shadow was shaking her head and laughing softly at Wrecker’s exclamation. “Glad I’ve got one Bad Batcher who likes me well enough!” 

_ You’ve definitely got more than one.  _

“Aw, Tech’s taken a likin’ to ya too!” 

“More like he’s taken a likin’ to my physiology. First blood, then fur samples. I’m honestly scared to hear what he wants next!” 

“Shadow!”

A comically exaggerated grimace spread across Shadow’s face, made complete by her ears. “Oof, why do I say things?” she sighed as Tech came jogging back down the trail. 

Hunter immediately cursed when he saw his younger brother’s hands cupped around something.  _ Oh no… _ What had he found this time?

Tech’s eyes under his helmet were scrunched up in a smile as he trotted over to the Alphian. “Can you tell me what this bug is?” he asked, opening his hands just enough so she could see. 

There it was again. Hunter had noticed it numerous times before, the way Shadow minutely froze when asked a question about either her past or something to do with the planet they were currently on. As if she either needed a moment to think, or needed to wait until the correct answer came to her. 

Delays were normal. Hunter had met many a person with them. People had to process information after all, and some processed things slower than others. But Shadow had  _ selective _ delays, more so than the average person. Something just was  _ not _ adding up about her. 

_ Could… no, that’s not possible. There’s no way. Realm Walkers are not real _ . 

Or were they? Shadow was showing the signs they supposedly showed. Spotty memory of some topics, intense knowledge of others, familiarity with things the average person they met knew nothing about, the fact she had supposedly survived things that would  _ kill _ most anybody else… 

_ Keep an eye on her. Maybe talk with Tech, he’s bound to know something about Realm Walkers _ . 

Locked in his own mind, he missed whatever Shadow had said. He did not, however, miss Shadow holding out her hand for Tech to dump a  _ spider _ into. 

_ This woman is crazy! _

“See?” Shadow said with a smile as the long limbed spider scuttled up her hand to her arm. “They’re not able to chomp us. Frens.” 

“Can I see?” Wrecker asked, hesitantly reaching out with one hand as he slipped his helmet off with the other. 

“Sure, big guy, just don’t squish him.”

Wrecker grinned. “Thanks!” He let the spider crawl onto his hand before using Shadow’s head for a helmet holder. 

Hunter stifled a snort as how oversized the helmet was compared to her. His own helmet had looked good on her. Wrecker’s looked downright hilarious. 

“Still think it’s an improvement,” Crosshair said over his main comm. 

“I think removin’ the rod rammed up your cornstalk ass would be an improvement too, but I keep that to myself!” 

_ Do  _ **_not_ ** _ laugh. Don’t you dare laugh. Stars... _

Wrecker, however, clearly had no such thought process for his loud laughter rang through the misty trees. Abandoning his spider, which he settled on a tree trunk, he slapped Shadow on the back. “ _ Cornstalk _ ?! Your arsenal of insults never run out, does it?”

“Not if I can help it!” Shadow laughed with a swish of that multicolored tail. 

How  _ did _ the extra appendage connect? Where was the point where the spine branched off? And did she have  _ two  _ sets of tail bones? One like a human and one for her actual tail?

“If ya aren’t pinin’, why’re ya starin’ at her ass?”

Hunter was  _ immensely  _ thankful both for his helmet and the fact he didn’t have Tech’s fairer skin because had he been paler he would have been red all over. In a brief moment of terror, Hunter thought Crosshair had said that on the main comm. He began to breathe easier when Shadow did not react. 

_ Crosshair, when this mission is over… I’m going to order Tech to take us to Tatooine and I am dropping you in the first Sarcclac pit I see.  _

~***~

For a muscle bound super soldier reaching nearly seven feet, Wrecker was downright  _ adorable. _ I was so glad the man’s helmet hid my face, because I had to be blushing when he flashed a goofy grin my way. 

This mission… I was in trouble big time. One sided crushes were troublesome enough with one guy. But I had a crush not only on Wrecker, but every damn one of them. Four.  _ Four _ dudes! Even Crosshair! Somehow. 

How in the  _ Nine Corellian Hells  _ was I supposed to manage this? Wrecker’s physical nature was  _ not _ helping my touch starved self.  _ Every _ fiber of my being had begun screaming for cuddles. Considering I was  _ not  _ a physical person by nature… 

_ Bruhhhhhhhhhhhh _ .

I quickly forced my face neutral when Wrecker reached forward and tugged the helmet off my head. 

_ Phew. He didn’t make a comment. Maybe I’m safe! _

“Shadow, are you alright? You look flushed. Was it hot in his helmet?”

_ Tech, I love you buddy, but I am gonna strangle you.  _

Of all things, I did not expect Hunter to jerk minutely and the slight scent of  _ fear _ to drift over. The hell?

Come to think of it..  _ damn _ were there a lot of hormones right now. Bouncing around like possessed ping pong balls or something. Smack in the middle, I was less than thrilled and removed myself from the four way intersection to stand further down the trail. “Yeah. Fine! Let’s keep goin’!”

_ Four more days. I got four more days of this. What did I do to deserve this bad luck? I knew I should have forwarded that chain message. Damn that bad luck elephant strawberry… thought that puppy picture gave me immunity from those! _

Wrecker quickly jogged to my side. “Sorry,  _ Haran’ika _ . I never noticed it gettin’ hot in there myself.”

_ Oh for the love of… _ “Heh… yeah well uh you know.”

“Wait… ya weren’t hot were ya?”

_ Put that grin  _ **_away_ ** _.  _ “It’s humid as hell, look at my fur.” I pointed to my tail.

“Humidity doesn’t make ya blush like that,” he teased, nudging me. 

_ Why me? Whyyyyyyyyy.  _ “It’s hot!” 

“Uh huh.” Another nudge sent me to the otherside of the trail. “You’re cute when you blush!”

“Race ya to the rocks!” I yelped, running full speed out of that situation.  _ Don’t mind me, Imma just grab my stuff and leave! Excuse me please! _

“Hey!” Wrecker yelled behind me. “Damn you’re fast!” 

_ My problems can’t catch me if I outrun them! _

At least it wasn’t Hunter chasing me. That boy was  _ fast _ . 

Up ahead I could see a small stream crossing the trail. It didn’t look deep. This would be a snap!

I stopped long enough to judge the depth before stepping into the water, only to give a high pitched yelp and launch myself backwards out of the water. 

_ Shit _ that was cold! 

Wrecker laughed. “Didn’t know ya could  _ squeak _ !”

Oh I had to be red in the face now. Fuck my voice box and everything it stood for. Just ignore the comment… ignore it for now… “Great, gotta get wet…” I muttered, angrily eyeing the rippling water. 

“Oh, I could get ya across easy!” 

I sighed, looking up at Wrecker. “Yeet?” I asked tiredly. 

He grinned maniacally. “ _ YEET! _ ”

I crossed my arms as he scooped me up and threw me across the river. “Now I know how Rex feels,” I grumbled, touching down on the other side. I waited until Wrecker had tossed the others across before calling to the big guy, “So, how you makin’ it over?” 

“Uhh… I’ll just wade!” He awkwardly lumbered across, muttering a “sorry fishy” occasionally. Emerging on the other side, he turned to me. “See! I can do it!”

“Never said you couldn’t.” I looked at the others. “Alright boys. Onward.”


	7. Ch. 7 Bendaroos, Snakes, and Bacon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I'm done apologizing for constantly disappearing into the void for random stretches of time. It's college, it's life, y'all know the drill.   
> Have one long chapter broken into chapters 7 and 8. Next chapter is a lot of fighting between Crosshair and I.   
> Fun fact, I do fish snakes out of my pool if I see them and the serpentarium is my favorite place in zoos right behind the aquarium section.  
> Do not attempt to pick up a snake in the wild regardless of species. 
> 
> Warnings:   
> Mention of snakes

After walking for roughly an hour, my legs decided it was time for a break. Quarantine had not been kind, damn. My karate physique was still there, but the conditioning was… not. “Break time,” I announced. 

“Tired already, sweetheart? Thought you were the best guide there was,” Crosshair sneered. 

“Shut yo bootleg Benadroo ass up, I’m hungry,” I shot back. 

“The hell is a Bendaroo?”

“Don’t worry about it, y’all can continue on but I’mma eat.”

“I’m down for food!” Wrecker laughed. 

“You are always down for food,” Tech said, rolling his eyes. 

“You’re just jealous you can’t eat as much as me!”

“You do realize it would be physically impossible for me to achieve that? Your stomach is literally bigger than mine. Have you not heard of stomach to size ratio? You are half again as big as me. For me to eat as much as you…”

Their conversation faded away as I moved to find a good spot off the trail. Moss. Needed moss. Moss was good. A resting spot was useless without moss. A nice climbing tree would be a bonus. 

_ Are you finding a place to eat or a place to set up camp? Damn, chill with your moss obsession. _

_ Blasphemy, get out my head. Shoo.  _

“Moss moss moss moss,” I muttered, picking my way through the woods. 

“You really do like moss, huh?” 

My right ear twisted backwards at Hunter’s distorted helmet voice. “Got a problem with that, find a new guide,” I chirped. Up ahead I saw the perfect place and walked faster. 

“Moss is useful, I have zero problems with that,” Hunter assured me, jogging to catch up. 

“Good,” I said as he drew alongside me. 

“Nice spot,” Hunter commented as we reached the small open area. 

“Why thank you,” I snorted, selecting a mossy log for myself. Unfortunately, I noticed someone else liked the sunny spot. Happily coiled on the log was a multicolored snake about as long as my arm. Peering closer, I noticed with relief that the head was an ovular shape and the pupils round. “Hey, snakey, you gotta go.”

The snake raised its head and looked at me but refused to move. 

I tried to nudge its tail, but no luck. 

Hunter came forward. “Here, I’ll get it.”

“No, you’ll hurt it!”

“No I won’t,” Hunter assured me, reaching for the snake. 

I held my breath, but when he picked it up the snake did not seem particularly perturbed. Huh. Must have been like king snakes. 

“Pretty docile,” Hunter commented as the snake calmly coiled around his hand. “What kind is it?”

Short bursts of information flashed through my brain. “Checkered forest boa.”

“Guess it isn’t poisonous.”

“Venomous,” I immediately corrected. 

Hunter chuckled. “Just checking. Figured you’d say that. You know your stuff.”

_ Begone, blush _ . “I should hope so. Give me the snake, Shaggy.”

Hunter shrugged and handed over the serpent. The snake, a Checkered Boa, thankfully did not try to bite me. A wild snake was a wild snake no matter the species. But as long as one was careful they could avoid getting bit. Like when I pulled the little milk snake out of the fountain or saved the scarlet snake from my pool. I loved the critters. 

“What have you found  _ now _ ?”

Oh lovely, Crosshair had returned. 

I turned to face him with the snake in my hands and the sniper immediately leapt backwards. 

“Crazy woman, get that away from me!”

I blinked in surprise. “You’re scared of  _ snakes _ ?” 

“Snakey!” Wrecker gasped, starting forward. 

“Hold it fella, I’d rather you not startle the snakey while I’m holdin’ them with no gloves!” I warned. “And ya know, Cross, thought’d you love snakes, considerin’ you are one.”

“May I hold it?” Tech asked, coming close. 

“Not if you’re gonna poke it with anythin’,” I said, holding the snake closer to my chest. The critter seemed to agree, coiling tighter around my hand and glaring at Tech. 

“I won’t,” Tech promised. “What species?”

“Checkered Forest Boa. Pretty docile and usually make good pets,” I said, rattling off some information as it came to me. 

“Pets?” 

“Yes, but I’m not keepin’ this fella. Wild sneks aren’t good pets regardless of species,” I said, watching as the boa slithered around my hand and through my fingers. 

“Tech, just scan the snake and let Shadow release it into the shrubs,” Hunter ordered, settling down by a rock and bracing his back against it. Slipping his helmet off, he sat it beside him before grabbing a random stick and taking out his vibroblade. 

As he began to whittle away, Tech sighed. “Alright.” 

“Can I pet it?” Wrecker asked, slowly edging closer once Tech had done whatever it was he did with his little gadgets. 

“One finger along its back  _ gently _ ,” I stressed, nervously eyeing his hand. Luckily he had enough control and the snake did not panic. Once I had sent the snake on their way, I sanitized my hands and dug out the food from earlier. 

Walking to the bottom of the tree Crosshair had decided to perch in like a pigeon again, I tossed up a tupperware container to him. “Here ya go, Twiggs.”

He caught it but tossed it back down. “Not eatin’ what ya touched with your snake hands.”

“I just cleaned my hands, pay attention. Ain’t you supposed to be mister details?” I sent the food back up to him. 

Crosshair kept a hold of it this time, opening it and munching on a piece of bread. 

Ignoring the lack of thanks, since I hadn’t really expected any anyways, I tossed some other containers to Hunter and Wrecker. Pulling out a container I marked for Tech, I tossed it to him. “Here ya go, make sure to keep it vegetarian.”

Tech had removed his helmet so I was able to see surprise spread across his face as he caught it. “You remembered?”

“Yeah man, I ain’t a vegetarian but I’ll respect you bein’ one,” I shrugged. 

“Thank you, Shadow. Crosshair would have gotten me meat on purpose.” The nerd sent a glare towards the sniper who just shrugged. 

“Welcome, Tech,” I said, moving to perch atop the log with a tupperware container full of bacon. 

“Mind if I sit here too?” Wrecker asked sheepishly, holding a container of some other meat. 

“Be my guest,” I said, shrugging.

Wrecker's weight tipped the log to the side, sending me sliding down into him. I put my back against his side, using him as a backrest as I downed some bacon. 

He nudged me. "You are cuddly after all, Squeaky!" 

"Call me Squeaky one more time and I'm callin' you Scruffy," I snorted, glancing at him from the corner of my eye. 

"Scruffy?" he echoed, shifting to look at me in confusion. 

Readjusting so I didn't topple off the log or spill my food, I gestured to his face where stubble darkened his cheeks and chin. "You look like you haven't shaved in a few, mate." 

He felt along his face with the back of his hand. "That a problem?"

"Nah," I said with a shrug. "Kinda attractive to be honest."

That seemed to shock the demolition expert. "You find me attractive?"

"Yeah? I find all you Bad Batchers attractive. I’m grey not blind." 

"I'm touched, sweetheart," Crosshair muttered with his eyes closed from his tree perch, having already finished off his food. 

I rolled my eyes. "You and those cheekbones on thin ice, Twiggs." 

He snorted.

"Who do you think is the most attractive?" Wrecker pressed, a cheeky grin on his face now. 

I laughed. "And give y'all another thing to bicker about or give y'all another ego boost? I don't think so, buster." 

"Awww c'mon, Squeaky!" Wrecker urged, prodding me. "You can tell me!" 

"You do realize your brothers are like, right here?" I angled my ears towards Tech sketching a plant, oblivious to our conversation, Crosshair in the tree, and Hunter whittling away at his large stick. 

The sergeant looked over at us. "Oh no, do tell.” A smirk crept across his face. “We're curious now, Ice.”

I raised an eyebrow as I tried to not focus too hard on his smirk. "Oh, you are, huh Sarge?"  _ To humor them or not to humor them. That's the question.  _

Wrecker prodded me again. "We ain't gonna stop askin' till you tell us whose face you like best!" 

I batted away his hand. "You're variations of the same face.”

"C'mon, I'm better lookin' than most!" 

"In a galaxy of aliens I'll have to agree." 

“Just spill it, Squeaky!” Wrecker teased, poking my side. 

“Nah. Eat your food.”

“Aw fine. Whatcha eatin’ anyway?” Wrecker asked, reaching for my container. 

I slapped his hand. “This is my plate, not a socialist state! Hands off my vittles.” 

Shaking his hand, Wrecker pouted. “One piece?” 

Those big brown puppy eyes immediately broke me. “Fine, here,” I grumbled, handing him a piece. 

“Thanks, Squeaky!” 

I rolled my eyes. “Sure thing, Scruffy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrecker is a bean and I love him
> 
> I also really fuckin love moss


	8. Ch. 8 One Misstep and It's All Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeeeee here's the second half of what's technically chapter 7 but got split.   
> We all need some angst. Don't insult my loyalty, and don't insult my sailor boys. I will come for your neck.
> 
> Don't worry, the kid I mention falling in was saved by someone downstream but I'll never get the image out of my head. 
> 
> Also I am VERY sorry for the lovely cliff hanger but you know how it be. See y'all in a week or four!
> 
> Warnings:   
> Language, canon character peril.

It didn’t take long for any of us to finish off the containers before we were off once again. Backtracking to the trail, I got out the knife and ran my fingers over it as we walked. 

How could Trevor have even gotten this? Sure he was literally op, but to bring something from one fandom adventure to another… Then again I’d had Multi-verse ground zero set up in my old fanfiction and it was that universe my sailor adventure had even happened in. He could have gotten it through that way. Maybe?

“That’s a cool lookin’ knife!” Wrecker said. 

“Yeah,” I laughed softly. “It’s definitely a cool one.”

“What so special about a knife given by that feral Halfblood?” Crosshair asked dismissively. 

My tail bristled. “It’s not from Trevor.” I looked back down at the knife again, a reminiscent smile spreading across my face. “It’s from one of the sailors.” 

“The ones who hit you with a speeder.” 

_ First of all, that was my own fault _ . “It was more complicated than that.”

“Why aren’t you with ‘em if you cared about ‘em so much?”

_ Watch it, beansprout.  _ “Careful, Cross. You’re searchin’ for landmines with a hammer right now,” I warned, skin prickling with irritation. “I would have stayed… but they got into some big legal trouble and it was better for both if we split up.”

That was the shorthand at least. The major shorthand. Couldn’t really explain “yeah and now I just go visit them in my dreams whenever I want because for some reason I can just fully immerse myself fully into my headspace and by the way this is probably also in my headspace and I’m having one long elaborate dream sequence that gives me physical scars like some wacky Dark Forest-Place of No Stars bullshit. Yeah, couldn’t really explain that. Or even begin to think of a way to accurately shorthand that. 

“So you just abandoned ‘em when it got rough?”

I stopped dead and turned to face the sniper, fist clenched around the switchblade. “One more strike of that hammer and a landmine is gonna blow you sky high, long limbed bastard,” I hissed, tail twitching furiously. “Back the fuck off  _ now _ .” 

For a moment, hesitation flickered across the man’s face. But it was gone so quick I couldn’t be sure. “You don’t scare me.”

“I should.” It was cliché and tropey as hell, but I was too pissed to care. I was chill, unless you attacked my loyalty. That was something I prided myself in, and I wasn’t about to let the sad excuse of a popsicle stick tear it down. 

Hunter got up and moved between us. “Easy. Crosshair, stand down. Shadow, you too.”

“You are not my superior, Hunter,” I reminded him. “Can’t order me around.”

“I said  _ stand down _ ,” he ordered, voice turning stern. 

Markings gleamed across my skin as the ground beneath us rumbled. “Or  _ what _ ?”

“Shadow,” Tech said softly. “Don’t.”

The technician’s worried gaze and slight puppy eyes dulled my anger. I couldn’t see Wrecker’s face, but judging by how quiet he was the situation was making him uncomfortable too.  _ It’s not worth it. Crosshair isn’t worth your anger. _ Worthy or not, he earned it. “Insult me like that again, Crosshair, and you’ll regret it. No one asked for your opinion, so keep your trap shut.”

Turning back to the path ahead, I took up a brisk pace away from the men.

“Shadow?”

At Tech’s tentative call I turned back only to see a trail of thorn bushes in my wake. Great, now they knew that was a thing. Maybe I shouldn’t have connected Alphian’s powers to their emotions. I was probably OP in this story, so I had the power levels of a much older Alphian but the control of a young adult. 

“Step around it, it’s just thorns. Y’all have armor, a thorn scratch ain’t gonna do shit to you,” I grumbled as I resumed my hike. 

Hunter came jogging up behind me. “Ice-”

“Spare me a lecture. Don’t care to hear it. Want to avoid another instance like that? Get a handle on that shit brother of yours.” 

“You know he doesn’t mean to be rude like that-”

“I don’t know, actually. If he keeps actin’ like an ass then I’m gonna treat him like one. I ain’t toleratin’ his bullshit.” 

The sergeant was silent for a moment. “What  _ did  _ happen to cause you to leave ‘em?”

“I don’t expect you to care. Leave me alone.”

Hunter seemed to accept he wasn’t about to make any headway with me and fell back with the others. 

We reached a stream spanning a couple yards full of various boulders as well as a few vegetated strips of land through the center of the creek. Or could this be a river? Looked big enough to be a river. 

_ The hell? It’s literally Chimney’s Picnic Area from the Smokies without the human roads and tables. Yeah I know how to get around this. Just gotta find that one area. _ Looking out over the river, I scanned the easiest path across. Some rapids there, slick rocks here. Could go upriver, could go downriver. Would probably get wet either way, but wouldn’t bother me too badly. Just couldn’t go too far from where we were or rapids would block our path.

“What are we waitin’ for?” Crosshair demanded as the Bad Batch came up behind me. 

“Well A, for you to shut the hell up,” I hissed. “B, I’m searchin’ for the best and driest way across.”

“Just wade, ya afraid of gettin’ wet?” 

I stood up and faced him. “That a cat joke? This river is more dangerous than it looks. Under currents and deep pools can catch you off guard and sweep you downstream before you know what hit you. I’ve seen people fall in before and go under before anyone knew they fell in.”

“Tch, you’re just makin’ that up. Like that bit about the sailors. You didn’t  _ really _ spend a week with ‘em.”

“Fuck’s sake!” I snarled. “Fine! Think whatever you want, Crosshair. Clearly you won’t believe me no matter what I say, so I’m not wasting my breath on you. Find your own damn way across!” 

I started across the rocks and jumped down to wade through a calm patch of water. 

“Should we follow you?” Tech asked hesitantly.

“Do whatever you want, don’t care,” I snapped, not looking back as I climbed up onto one of the rocks and shook my feet off. 

“Way to go, Cross,” Wrecker muttered.

“You’re takin’  _ her _ side?”

“Just stop antagonizin’ her, Cross. She’s nice if you don’t.”

“You just have a crush on her.”

“So?”

That got my interest. Wrecker had a crush on me? 

_ It’ll fade. Don’t get excited. You damn well what happens whenever you show interest in a guy. You want to get ghosted again? By Wrecker of all people?  _

I flicked my ears and continued across to one of the island strips where I stopped for a break. Crouching on a rock protruding from the earth and partly hidden by a fir tree’s boughs, I watched as the various members picked their way across. Hunter, predictably, looked most at home, expertly moving from rock to rock. Tech, an agile little fella, jumped from rock to rock as he chattered about the three point rule. Wrecker took a predictable approach, simply wading across with no true concern about getting swept off his feet. Crosshair… 

_ Someone looks nervous. _

Crosshair moved slowly, lingering on each rock and glancing at the water before crouching and shuffling to the next boulder. Until he saw me watching him that is, then he straightened and tried to look confident.

_ This really ain’t the place to try and prove how big your dick is. Nature will end you in an instant and laugh over your dead corpse _ . 

My tail twitched as I kept my eyes on the sniper. A chill ran down my spine. Something bad was about to happen. This would not end well at all. I slipped my pack off and rested it on the island. 

Hunter, approaching my position, noticed and made his way over quicker. “Shadow what is it?”

I said nothing, merely flicking my ears forward to indicate Crosshair. 

Hunter, crouching beside me now, looked out towards Crosshair. “Cross, remember what Tech said.”

“I’m fine!” Crosshair snapped. 

Hunter remained quiet but one look at him told me he was ready to launch himself forward at a moment’s notice. 

“Sarge,” I said slowly. “May want to head over to him.” 

Hunter nodded and started towards his sniper. Climbing across a large fallen log, he made his way up the neighboring island strip towards Crosshair.

Would he get there quick enough? Flashes of energy pulsed down my back through my legs as Crosshair readied himself to jump on a soaked rock. Didn’t he know better than to do that? When he slipped off he’d instantly be snatched by the currents and dragged downstream. 

_ So what if he gets wet? There aren’t major rapids around this area. He’ll have to go through some deep decently calm pools before he hits the white water.  _ Maybe getting soaked would dampen his damn ego. 

I remained quiet, watching from my rock as he jumped down. Sure enough, his legs slipped from under him and he plunged into the frothing current. 

“ _ Crosshair _ !” Hunter yelled, panic causing his voice to crack as he rushed forward. 

“It’s fine, Hunter! He’ll hit some calm pools before he gets to the really dangerous rapids-”

“Shadow, he can’t swim!” 

“What?!” I screamed, launching off my rock after the sniper as the river swept him past me down the backside of the island. 

Three pools. I had three chances to reach him before he hit that section where I’d seen the kid go under once after falling off the log. 

I could reach him. 

I knew these rocks. 

I was faster than Hunter. 

I could reach him.

I  _ would _ reach him. 

I currently hated Crosshair, but he was not about to drown. 

Not if I could help it. 


	9. Ch. 9 In Over Your Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tis I. The literal Shadow because I'm here one second and gone the next.   
> Thank you all SO much for the support as I literally poof for weeks, I really appreciate it! 
> 
> This chapter was going to be longer, but I really needed to post something after that rather cruel cliffhanger so here you go! :D

_ I knew this mission would be shitty _ !

Pain lanced through his body, briefly cutting through his panic, as the current slammed him against a boulder. 

Don’t scream. Don’t cry out. His helmet protected him from the worst of it, but water seeped in nevertheless. He hadn’t made it off that watery hellhole just for water to get him in the end. 

Crosshair blindly grasped for a handhold. A rock, a branch, something. His fingers snagged something and hot pain tore through his shoulder as it was nearly jerked out of socket when the current tried to snatch him from his salvation. 

Sickening dread churred in Crosshair’s stomach as his fingers already began to slip, numbed by the cold even through the gloves. Was the river literally alive and trying to kill him? 

Gasping for air while he could keep his head about the raging rapids, he could barely hear his squad yelling for him from upstream. 

Above those, a yell sounded closer. 

“Hang on, Cross!”

Shadow? No, not her! If  _ she _ pulled him out he’d never hear the end of it!

Trying to raise his head to spot the guide, his eyes widened. Running across the rocks with hardly a pause, as sure footed as any soldier, she rapidly closed the distance between him and her. 

But as he watched her race towards him, his attention slipped and the current tore him away from safety. 

“Shit!” he heard Shadow yell before the water forced him under again and dumped him into a deep pool. The current waned, but he couldn’t feel the stream bed beneath his feet and struggled to fight his way back up to the surface. 

A dull crash. 

An explosion of bubbles. 

A blurry figure, distorted by the swirling water.

A strong grip on his arm.

A violent tug.

The diver forcing themselves down to push him up.

His head breaking the surface.

A hard shove towards a wide flat bolder.

No.  _ No _ ! Not Shadow! 

Damn it!

Splashing erupted next to him before Shadow hauled him up onto the rock. Her hands gripped his helmet and yanked it off. 

“Crosshair! C’mon, Cross! Be ok! I ain’t given’ you mouth to mouth, breathe damn it!” she yelled, dragging him upright and twisting him around so he faced down. 

He weakly shoved her away. “I’m fine!” he hissed, voice hoarse as he staggered to his feet. 

“The hell you are! You could have drowned!” 

The concern in her voice cut deep, anger soon following. 

Furiously wiping water from his eyes as Shadow got to her feet as well, he glared down at the woman who was also soaking wet. Her soaked clothes clung to her and water streamed from her flattened fur as she minutely shivered from the cold. 

He pushed away the brief concern that threatened to rise and took a threatening step towards her. “I had it under control!”

“Yeah, sure! Look at you, damn it!”

“You think you’re better than me because  _ trainin _ ’?” Crosshair sneered, voice hoarse from the water as he jabbed a finger into her chest. “Trainin’ is no match for experience, and I’ve been far more places than  _ you  _ will  _ ever _ be. You’re just some backwater guide. I didn’t need your help and I  _ never _ will.”

She looked taken aback, and for a brief moment Crosshair almost regretted his harsh words. Guilt twisted his stomach at the intense hurt that flashed in her eyes. He’d hit a nerve. Judging by the fact she was still silent, he’d hit a pretty big one. 

But he was unprepared for the blue fire that sparked in her eyes. Hatred filled her gaze, and her next words held none of her previous concern. “I was  _ going _ to say,” she began icily, “I’m not weighed down by around thirty extra pounds of armor.”

Oh…

“But if you’re so concerned about  _ experience _ ,” she growled, lips curling back to reveal teeth, “I’ve been swimmin’ longer than you’ve been alive. I did it competitively too. Not to mention I know this stream  _ far _ better than you  _ ever _ will.”

Pride drove his next words. “Don’t care how good you think you are, I didn’t need you.”

“Then allow me to rectify the situation.”

Her foot slammed into his midsection before he saw her move. The force drove him backwards off his feet and he landed back in the pool. Frantically trying to keep his head above the water, Crosshair shouted curses at Shadow. 

“Said you didn’t need my help. Just wanted to give you a chance to prove it. Hope you were right, for your sake.”

“Crazy bitch!”

“This crazy bitch can drag your ungrateful ass back out of there if you’d show a little gratitude.”

If he wasn’t the one about to drown, he’d admire her harsh approach to someone who’d insulted her. He would have done the same. 

“Shadow! Get him out!” Hunter yelled, coming over the rise. 

“Oh! No, it’s ok Hunter! Crosshair said he didn’t need my help!” Shadow laughed. 

“Dammit kid, move!” Hunter barked, running past her and jumping in to help pull Crosshair to a shallower area. 

Panting heavily, relieved to have ground under his feet, Crosshair glared at the rock Hunter had him hanging onto. Unable to meet Shadow’s harsh stare, Crosshair could only withhold a cough as she snorted.

“Maybe you aren’t as strong as you think after all.”

“Kid, go get your pack and wait upriver!” Hunter ordered. 

Shadow stood her ground. “Better tell your sniper to be careful who he pisses off. Never know when someone will snap,” she hissed before turning to leave.

Crosshair watched her go, an unfamiliar emotion beginning to spread through him as her hurt gaze from before flashed across his eyes. Hurt didn’t even cover it. Whatever nerve he’d hit with his comment...

He hadn’t… dammit he hadn’t meant to set her off like that. She didn’t have to save him…

No. No it wasn’t his fault! Did she think she was  _ entitled  _ to his appreciation now? Any fool could have drug him out of the creek. 

_ But could they have gotten to you as fast as she did _ ?

So what if she could run across the rocks fast? So what if she easily traversed the obstacles with hardly a pause? So what if she dropped everything the moment she saw him in trouble…? Risked falling into rapids… dove in without hesitation to pull him out… braved the icy water… stayed under to keep him above… frantically yanked off his helmet with the sole intent of making sure he was ok… even after he’d said those things to her earlier...

_ She didn’t have to help you. For how you’ve been treating her, she should have  _ **_let you drown_ ** _. _

That inner voice… they were right. 

Why hadn’t she just let him drown?

“Crosshair!” Wrecker yelled from further up the bank, crashing through the trees to reach his soaked batchmate. “You alright?!”

“Fine, quit yellin’.”

Crouching beside him, Wrecker grinned. “Damn, didn’t know Shadow could move that fast! Looked like she was flyin’!” He looked around. “Where’s she go?”

“Upstream after she pushed him back in,” Hunter grumbled. 

“Wait, what?” Wrecker’s jaw dropped. “Why’d she push him back in?”

Hunter turned his glare towards Crosshair. “Because someone insulted her after she saved his ass.”

“Crosshair!” Wrecker exclaimed. 

“She’ll get over it. Doesn’t matter,” he retorted.

But it did… 

Oh it  _ did _ .

——

The arrogant  _ bastard _ . Who the hell did he think he was? 

Fucking asshole! 

I should have left him to the creek. Hunter would have gotten him out. 

A fierce snarl ripped from my throat as I reached my pack. Taking my rage out on the nearest rock, reinforced claws leaving deep gouges, I continued to curse the sniper. 

“Shadow! You’re soaked! You need to get dry, you’ll get-”

Tech stopped abruptly as I glared at him, teeth bared. 

“Shut it, nerd!” 

His eyes widened. “Shadow, what happened? Are you alright?” he exclaimed, hurrying closer. 

Water logged tail bristling, I growled, “I’m  _ fine _ . 

“I want to help, did you get hurt?” Tech asked, springing across some boulders to reach my side.

_ Not physically _ . “Back  _ off _ .”

“Crosshair said something, didn’t he? You know he’s just proud,” Tech began. 

I stepped forward and backed him against a tree. “I  _ said _ , leave it! I don’t give a shit what his excuses are, I don’t want to hear it!” I snarled, tail lashing. 

“But-”

My hand slammed into the tree by his head. “ _ Drop it _ ,” I hissed, teeth bared. 

Beneath his helmet, his eyes somehow grew wider as faint red crept across his face, but he nodded. 

“Good.” Turning away, I snatched my pack off the ground and hopped across the river to the other side. 

He swallowed and called after me, “I just wanted to help.”

“Yeah?” I replied without turning around. “So did I.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully the next chapter will be out sooner than later!


	10. Ch. 10 ~So It's A Bit Of A Fixer-Upper~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, which one of you fuckers manifested this chapter? Who did a ritual?  
> Because as of 12 PM today this was a blank sheet. Now it's a 2100+ chapter. I did more in six hours than I did in three weeks.  
> WHO MANIFESTED THIS?
> 
> And could you please do it again? Plz? It was like having the zoomies, but for writing.  
> Granted it's not as descriptive as normal, but I'm saving that for important important chapters. 
> 
> Also, fun fact! Halfway through I failed my weather class quiz for the third week in a row! :D So I added in a huggy segment with Wrecker because yay method writing. 
> 
> Anyways, Enjoy~~~~~~
> 
> Content Warning:   
> Depression and talk of castration

Never. 

Never before had he seen Shadow like that. To just stand over Crosshair as he  _ drowned… _

Yet he’d seen her dive in after him, disappearing over the large boulder with a splash. Then there was yelling, harsh words from Crosshair, and by the time he had made it to the top of the row of boulders the sniper was back in the pool. 

Hunter watched Shadow vanish upstream, conflicted as anger at her yet concern  _ for  _ her rippled through him. She’d deliberately put Crosshair, Hunter’s  _ brother _ , back in danger. But the ice in her words didn’t fool him, and he could tell she was deeply hurt by what Crosshair had said to her. 

_ “I don’t need you and I never will.” _

Trevor’s warning made sense now. Hunter figured that was a sore spot to her, but for a reaction this bad…

Damn it all to the Nine Corellian Hells! How was he supposed to keep them on friendly terms with each other when Crosshair and Shadow wouldn’t stop pushing each other’s buttons?

“Wrecker, carry him upstream on the bank,” Hunter ordered, dragging Crosshair out of the pool. 

“I can walk,” Crosshair spat.

“Don’t care. He’s carrying you before we have another accident,” Hunter said firmly, heading up after Shadow. 

“Goin’ to check on Squeak?” Wrecker asked, picking Crosshair up despite his protests. 

“Yeah. Meet you on the other side.” But when he reached the place Shadow left her pack, he found only an oddly subdued Tech who Hunter swore looked a little red under his helmet. “Where’s Shadow?”

“Went across. I tried to ask her what was wrong but she snapped at me!” Tech exclaimed. 

Hunter glanced at the nearby tree with shattered bark roughly Tech’s head level. “I see that.”

“What’d Crosshair do to her? She’s… she’s never displayed such aggression towards me. I swore I saw tears in her eyes.”

A sharp stab in his chest made Hunter wince. “I’ll go talk with her.”

“Not a sound idea, I’m afraid. She’s  _ very _ hostile. Would it be best to leave her alone?” Tech asked. “Sometimes people just need time to work through emotions. Shadow surely knows Crosshair was just embarrassed she had to save him.”

_ She’s already been damaged and has left over issues from previous incidents,  _ Hunter wanted to say but knew he risked Tech going into detail about the healing process of the brain or he would ask for more details. Hunter felt… dirty betraying her like that. Tech wouldn’t understand, he’d ask her about it and use it as a chance to learn more when this was an issue that shouldn’t be poked. The brainiac didn’t mean any harm by it, but he just… he didn’t understand how sensitive of an issue it was for Shadow.

“Maybe. I’m still going to talk to her regardless,” Hunter stated, crossing the creek as Tech followed behind him. 

“Er… Sarge?” Wrecker said. “Shadow’s… gone.”

“Gone? What do you mean gone?” Hunter exclaimed. 

“She’s not around, at least that I can see. Can’t find her heat signature.”

_ If this woman can mask her  _ **_heat signature_ ** _...  _ A new thought sprang into Hunter’s mind. “Are you looking for a humanoid, or an animal?”

“Humanoid. But didn’t see anything as big as her cat form,” Wrecker said with a shake of his head. 

“What about that smaller feline in the barn last night? If she could turn into a variant of the big cat…” Tech turned to Hunter. “Then certainly she could shift into a small cat!”

Hunter switched to infrared and scanned the upper levels of the trees. Still nothing. 

Wait… 

“Rest here, I have an idea of where she could be,” Hunter ordered, starting through the trees. 

“Wait, I wanna go too! Make sure she’s ok!” Wrecker protested, setting Crosshair down. 

Hunter shook his head. “Wrecker, no. If there’s more than one, she may get defensive again.”

“She was already displaying signs of such behavior,” Tech countered. 

“Then more people would make it worse.”

“I won’t antagonize her, Sarge. I want to make sure she’s ok,” Wrecker urged. 

Hunter paused. Wrecker  _ was _ Shadow’s favorite. More so than Hunter himself, especially after Hunter yelled at her. She may be more willing to talk to him over Hunter. But there was the issue of Wrecker’s clumsy social skills. He’d say the wrong thing or crack a joke at the wrong time.

If it were Hunter alone, he could maintain control of the situation better. That was his specialty, after all. 

But perhaps… attempting control wasn’t a good route to take with Shadow. As she’d put it, he was not her superior. He felt oddly upset at that for reasons he didn’t care to look at closer. The point was… maybe allowing Wrecker along would be helpful. 

He relented. “Fine, but hang back until I find her. That clear?”

“Crystal clear, Sarge!” Wrecker said, face lighting up as he ran to Hunter’s side. 

“I’ll check Crosshair over while you’re gone,” Tech said, taking off his helmet and sitting beside Crosshair, who growled and slapped away his hands. 

“Get off me, Four Eyes.”

“So Sarge,” Wrecker said as they left and headed into the woods. “Where are we gonna look for Shadow?”

“In the warmest patch of sun you can find.”

~***~

Space blankets were a  _ blessed _ thing. Keep the heat in and wind off. 

In ordinary circumstances, I could shift into that oversized puffball that was the Mountaineer kelusine. But now? The last thing I wanted was to stand out like a sore thumb so the Bad Batch could find me. 

They would eventually of course, given Hunter was part shark and they literally had a zero percent failrate, but even a little peace and quiet was nice. 

How I wished I was back on the ship. Back with those idiots. Could really do with a hug from Neil right now or Hobbs’ teasing. I still recalled that one night I’d stumbled into one of their card games and they just let me chill until I felt better. I could still feel the weight of Neil’s arm across my shoulders. 

I tugged the space blanket tighter around me. 

_ Get it together, you’re pathetic. _

A low growl escaped my throat. Beating myself up literally wasn’t going to help anybody, least of all me. Of course I missed the sailors, they’d basically ended up like murderous big brothers to me. Most of them at least. 

Kenny and Anthony deserved every single cut and castration they underwent. Had Anthony to thank for this damn bullet hole in my chest. Fucking assholes, both of them. 

But the others… 

I pulled out my phone and swiped through my photos. Sure enough, there they were. Somehow. All the photos I’d taken of the  _ Karaboudjan _ . Mostly references of the ship herself for building the  _ Caroline _ , but a good few were of the men. Card games, photos taken when one of them had yoinked my photo, photos taken when Trevor had yoinked my phone… why were there so many photos when my photo had been taken, damn?

While swiping, I lingered on a photo of me with Tom and Allan. Allan looked grumpy as usual, but in this instance I really couldn’t blame him considering my legs were crossed over his lap as I grinned at him. My back rested against Tom, who was biting his fist to withhold a laugh as his other arm lay draped around my shoulders. 

Man… why couldn’t I be back with at least these two? 

My ear twisted backwards at two sets of approaching footsteps. 

One near silent and one  _ nowhere  _ near silent. 

Had to be Hunter and Wrecker. Hunter was good at the silent tread and Wrecker… well he wasn’t. 

Anger simmered through me at the thought of Hunter yelling at me again for sparta-kicking Crosshair into the creek. Long limbed bastard deserved that I was  _ not  _ sorry for what I did. 

The footsteps got closer. 

Damn bloodhound was probably tracking me. 

Could he  _ not _ ? I really wasn’t in the mood for a lecture. 

“Squeak? Shadow?”

I kept my eyes on my phone as Wrecker’s voice sounded from the other side of the boulder. 

“Wrecker, I said stay back,” Hunter groaned. 

“I wanna make sure she’s ok, Sarge!” 

Oh Wrecker… 

Some of my anger faded. I took a deep breath and said, “Here, Wrecker.” 

Leaves rapidly crunched under his heavy boots as Wrecker dashed around the rock. “Shadow! Are you alright?” 

“No,” I mumbled, swiping through some more pictures. 

The thunk of heavy armor accompanied Wrecker as he sat beside me and pulled off his helmet. Leaning closer, his armored shoulder brushing mine as he peered at my phone, he asked, “That the sailors?” 

My still wet tail twitched, but I nodded as I swiped again and was greeted with a picture of me with basically the entire crew. They may have been fictional. May have been smugglers. May have been villains. But when given the option to have a group picture…

Most of them at least. Never figured how I managed almost the entire crew in this shot. But it was perhaps the  _ only _ picture I had where Allan didn’t look like someone had stolen the meat from his sandwich. 

“Who’s who?” 

I sighed. “Wrecker, you really don’t have to fake interest to try and cheer me up.”

“It’s… I’m not fakin’ it, Shad,” Wrecker protested, sounding hurt. “I care, ya know?”

“So I heard,” I mumbled. 

“That… ain’t why,” he said softly. He hesitantly rested a large hand on my shoulder. “You’re my friend.”

“Didn’t you hear Crosshair? No one needs me around. You’ll get over it.”

Heavy arms wrapped around me and pulled me into Wrecker’s side. “Not true, Shadow. At all. Crosshair was  _ wrong _ .”

While I didn’t hug back, I didn’t push him off. I didn’t want to. Allowing myself to lean slightly into him, I grumbled, “He’s your brother, you’re on his side.”

“I can recognize he’s an asshole,” Wrecker said. He paused then continued, “Can I keep huggin’ ya?” 

“Ain’t no complaints,” I sighed. 

Wrecker pulled me closer to him. “I’d love to hear about ‘em,” he insisted. “The sailors.”

“I’d be interested as well,” Hunter said, kneeling on my other side and slipping off his helmet. 

“Gonna yell at me again, Sarge?” I growled, ears flicking back. “Guess I can’t blame you. Defendin’ your family and all.” I turned my gaze back down to the phone as I scanned each member. “Can fight and insult your own all day long, but it’s a different kettle of fish when others do it.”

“You considered ‘em family?” 

“That or bothersome roommates I was quarantined with for two weeks,” I retorted dryly. 

“Still remember each of their names?” Hunter asked, a small smile on his face as he sat beside me.

“Bet.” I pointed each man out to the pair of commados, listing all twenty men in the image. 

“And you were close with all of ‘em?” Wrecker asked. 

“Not all. Some I was closer with than others,” I replied, eyeing the men in the middle. “My main group consisted of Tom, Neil, Hobbs, Ernie, Gietch, and Eckhart. Sometimes Allan, although he was grumpy as hell.”

“Allan looks grouchy,” Wrecker commented. 

I gave a short dry laugh. “That’s his happy face.”

“You miss ‘em, don’t you?” Hunter asked softly.

“Course I do.”

“What’s the first image you have of ‘em?” Wrecker asked. 

I swiped back through until I got to the first picture I took, then tried not to acknowledge how close Hunter was as he leaned over my shoulder to get a better look at the image. 

_ His hair smells nice _ .

_ Cease _ . 

“Shadow… are you  _ robbing a house _ ?” 

The disbelief in Hunter’s tone caused me to give a wheezing laugh. “Yep, Sarge. Well, not me. Tom and Al were ransackin’ the place, I was just there for moral support.” I nudged Wrecker. “Thanks for yours, by the way, Scruffy.”

Wrecker smiled warmly at me. “Of course, Squeak. I just… thought you hated hugs?”

I sighed. “No, Wreck. I love hugs. And cuddlin’. Problem is, got a sensory disorder that can cause touch to overwhelm my senses. Registers almost like pain and can make me violent as my brain says get away by any means necessary.”

“Huh, you too?” Hunter asked, having somewhat recovered from the shock of seeing me aid in robbery and theft. 

“Sensory disorder besties,” I snorted, pointing a finger gun at him. 

He rolled his eyes and slowly stood up. “Do you want to stay here for a bit? The others are resting back at the bank.”

He didn’t mention Crosshair’s name, a fact I was grateful for. I nodded. “Yeah. Thanks to a certain sniper, got kicked into a bit of a depressive state so I’m down for a bit.”

“Understood. Come back when you’re ready. And… sorry about him.”

I shook my head. “Don’t apologize for him, Hunter. You know it doesn’t count.”

“Not apologizing for  _ him _ ,” Hunter replied softly. 

I held his gaze for many moments before twitching an ear. “Thanks, Hunter.”

“Sure thing, Shadow. See you back in a few.”

“See ya,” I replied, watching him go before leaning back against Wrecker. “Hey, Scruffy, wanna see some more photos?” 

“You know it, Squeak.” 

  
  



	11. Ch. 11 ~Mistakes~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another!   
> And since I have every single project coming down on me at once it seems, it may be the last chapter for a week or two. But hey! Three chapters in four days ain't half bad! :D This chapter is roughly 3300+ words and was written in two days so somebody did another manifesting ritual or something! 
> 
> I jump around a LOT in this one, going from Tech to Wrecker to Crosshair. There's a pretty... important event in this chapter, one I actually planned to save for later but this story really does write itself sometimes. But it's nothing y'all didn't already know :D
> 
> Also! Been VERY active on tumblr lately. There's an art piece of Shadow doing some Earth elemental stuff with hot rock soup, there's a snippet of my tintin story I CONSTANTLY reference but never actually post anything one, AND I'm doing something where you send me a Shadow voice line and I will read it! I have two videos up currently, one dealing with Crosshair insults and the other of lines after I kick Crosshair back into the water! Any Shadow line from any chapter is accepted, whether I be talking to Crosshair, Wrecker, Hunter, Trevor, ect! Send me some lines! 
> 
> Content Warnings:  
> Talk of ghosting, abandonment issues, and a WHOLE bunch of self-doubt/personalization.

“What did you say to Shadow?”

Tech couldn’t help but feel aggravated at his brother. Shadow had been  _ crying.  _ Not only that, the aggression she’d displayed was so unusual Tech could hardly believe that was the same Shadow who’d stayed up last night to talk with him. Sure, after learning she’d lived with sailors he figured she had a rough streak in her, but to get that  _ mean _ ? 

“Doesn’t matter,” Crosshair grumbled, not meeting Tech’s gaze.“She’ll get over it, she’s tough.”

After his near drowning, he’d been pretty quiet. Tech figured he was deep in his own thoughts, but what exactly he was thinking about was a mystery to Tech. 

Tech hoped he at least was giving  _ some _ thought to whatever he’d said to Shadow. “Crosshair, there were  _ tears _ in her eyes,” Tech stressed. “What could you possibly have said to her that hurt her so badly?” 

Crosshair looked up in surprise. “Cryin’? Shadow does not cry. That was just water from the creek.”

“No, her eyes were red which is indicative of crying,” Tech retorted. “She also nearly punched a hole in my head. Given her previous non-violent demeanor towards us, a switch as drastic as that suggests a major fracture in her normal thinking pattern. So, what did you  _ say _ ?”

Crosshair glared at the ground and mumbled something under his breath.

“What?”

He mumbled again, somewhat louder, but still too quiet for Tech to make out. 

Tech groaned and leaned closer. “What did you say to-?”

“I told her I didn't need her and never would! Alright?” Crosshair spat, glaring at Tech. “Then she overreacted.”

_ No wonder she’d been so hurt!  _ That look of pain behind a thin veil of rage remained fresh in his mind, but Tech couldn’t imagine what could cause the usually laid back Shadow to become so volatile. But now that intense emotion in her eyes made sense. 

“ _ Overreacted _ ?” Tech demanded. “She saved your life and you tell her  _ that _ ?” 

“She was actin’ like I owed her somethin’!” Crosshair shot back.

“You did, a thank you! She risked injury herself to help you, not to mention possible hypothermia, when she had no obligation to save you!” Tech exclaimed. How could Crosshair  _ not _ understand he should be grateful towards Shadow? The average person, even someone as abrasive as Crosshair, would be able to recognize that. 

“She was actin’ like a self important brat!”

“She was not the brat in this scenario,” Hunter growled, coming through the trees. 

“Me? I nearly drown and you think I’m the one at fault?” Crosshair growled. 

“Considering your second swim was because you pissed her off, yeah, I do.” Hunter sat down and leaned against a tree. Taking his helmet off and sitting it beside himself, he glared at Crosshair. “Had to leave her to recover for a bit. Wrecker’s with her.” 

“Was that wise?” Tech asked. Wrecker was loud, brash, and his filter was nonexistent. Shadow, if she was hurt as badly as he hypothesized after Crosshair’s words, needed calm and quiet. With her own mind a swirl of emotion, adding more agitation would only prolong her despairitive state. 

Hunter shrugged. “She answered him soon as he called for her. Let him hug her too.”

“Hug?”  _ What? No, that’s highly illogical!  _ “Shadow doesn’t care for hugs. She must be hurt badly if she seeks physical comfort,” Tech replied, somewhat in disbelief. “She did not try to push him away?” 

Hunter shook his head. “She didn’t hug back, but definitely didn’t try to get out of it.” He stared at the river for a minute. “She’s got a sensory disorder,  _ that’s _ why she said she hated hugs. Touch can set it off.”

A sensory disorder? What was the name? What was the cause? Was it a standard disorder for her species? 

“Then why she lettin’ Wrecker hug her?” Crosshair grumbled.

“Because she’s  _ hurt _ ,  _ di’kut _ !” Hunter retorted, voice raising. “She’s been ghosted bef-“ Hunter abruptly stopped and cursed. “Shit.”

Tech looked to Hunter, hoping for more information. “Ghosted? You mean abandoned by people she cares about? That would certainly explain her intense reaction to Crosshair’s words. They could have triggered an abandonment issue, or possibly even hit something deeper. People who get ghosted often carry with them a sense of personal fault, even if they did nothing wrong.”

Hunter groaned, but replied, “Yeah. She’s definitely got that.”

Crosshair looked slightly sick, skin paler than usual. “She’s... more resilient to be screwed over by one incident-“

“Three,” Hunter interrupted.

Crosshair looked away. “Three?”

“And she’s still hurting over the loss of her sailor friends. Who, Cross,  _ are _ real. She has pictures on that device of hers and was looking through them when we found her.”

“People often revert back to remembering happier times when emotionally wounded. She speaks fondly of them all the time,” Tech mused. “For some it helps them ignore the pain.”

“She’s definitely in pain,” Hunter sighed. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he groaned. “Really stepped in it this time, Cross.”

“How did you know she’d been ghosted?” Tech inquired. He should have stayed up in the apartment to wait until Shadow woke up. Maybe she was more likely to share details if she was still groggy from sleep? After all, last night she mentioned she got quite honest when she was tired. But why would the topic have come up this morning?

Hunter hesitated then answered, “Trevor. He told me.”

Tech frowned. “How do he and Shadow know each other again?”

“Not sure. But he certainly knows a lot about her.”

Crosshair remarked in a low tone, “Don’t like that weirdo.”

“Feeling's mutual,” Hunter snorted. 

Tech definitely agreed. Something about Trevor just did not sit right with him. It was like he always knew things would happen before they did, or knew the outcome of an event. Tech had tried to analyze the man whenever they were around him, but he was just too  _ chaotic _ . A great research opportunity, certainly, but a maddeningly infuriating one. 

At least Shadow seemed sane. 

“What did he say in regards to her being ghosted?” Tech asked. 

“Only that it had happened three times before and it was a touchy subject.” He paused, brow furrowed. 

“What else?” Tech pressed. Maybe if he knew he could help Shadow, or at least know what subjects to avoid to not trigger another emotional outbreak. While it was intriguing to see Shadow act in a new way, her angry side concerned if not outright frightened him. 

The threat she’d given him had been merely that. A threat, a warning. But he’d also not been the target of her rage. What should happen if she was angry  _ and  _ it was directed at him? How much damage could she inflict?

“Just that it causes her to overthink signals from people,” Hunter said. “Also that if something goes wrong with someone she gets in her mind that she’s just a burden.” 

Crosshair mumbled, “She’s definitely not that.” 

“Yeah, well you did a fine job convincing her of that,” Hunter retorted. “Honestly, Cross, give her  _ some _ credit.” 

Tech narrowed his eyes. “There’s something else he told you.”

Hunter hesitated then shook his head. “Just said don’t poke that subject with a stick.”

That wasn’t it. Trevor hadn’t stopped there. “Hunter, I need all the information if I’m to calculate how she will react in a given circumstance.”

“She’ll be fine. There’s nothing to worry about,” Hunter stressed before shooting a glare at Crosshair. “Speaking of Shadow,  _ you’ll  _ be the one to bring her back.”

Crosshair’s head shot up, eyes wide in disbelief. “You’re kiddin’. She’ll claw me.”

“Not my problem.”

Tech hardly heard them as they continued to go back and forth. His mind was fixated on one thing and one thing only. 

What had Trevor told Hunter? Was it just information, or was it another warning? 

That was the key. Or at least a piece to the puzzle that was Shadow. Without that, he would never be able to decipher the puzzle.

He just hoped it wasn’t a ticking bomb.

~***~

Oh he hoped Shadow couldn’t pick up the way his heart was beating erratically in his chest. She was  _ right next  _ to him, surely she could hear it? Her ears, cute as they were, no doubt picked up on his unease, betraying his nervousness to the woman. His darker skin hid his blush, but the sweat trickling down the back of his neck and dampening his palms could set her nose off. 

Wrecker swallowed, trying to focus on Shadow’s voice as she scrolled through the device in her hand. She’d shifted from the sailors and now showed him various funny images she called memes. She’d improved somewhat, sitting taller with a small smile on her face as she leaned against him, but she still looked sad. 

He hated seeing her like this. He preferred the bubbly Shadow, the snarky Shadow… even the Shadow who threatened to Vibe Check them. He’d really fallen hard for this strong alien. 

He wanted to bring it up. If she was his favorite, maybe knowing he liked her would cheer her up? 

No. His grasp of social etiquette may have been appallingly poor, as Crosshair pointed out on more than one occasion, but Wrecker knew enough that it wouldn’t be right to bring up his crush while she was in this state. Besides, she probably liked Hunter. Most women did. He was better looking, more enjoyable to be around, smoother with his words, not as overwhelming...

“You have a crush on the sarge, don’t you?” Wrecker blurted out, immediately slapping his hand over his mouth in horror. 

Shadow stiffened as her ears shot straight up and her tail went still. 

**_Di’kut_ ** _! You absolute  _ **_di’kut_ ** _!  _

Those bright blue eyes Wrecker had fallen in love with turned and gazed up at him. “Huh?”

Wrecker swallowed, sweat beading on his brow and his tongue weighing like a stone in his mouth. “I… I…” he fumbled with his words before hiding his face in his free hand and groaning. “Shit… Sorry, Shadow!” He started to remove the arm from around her shoulders. “I shouldn’t have asked, that was…” 

Shadow grabbed his arm. “Hang on, big fella. Ain’t mad. Just caught me off guard.” Her tail flopped over his ankle and curled around it in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. 

He avoided her gaze. “I still shouldn’t have asked. You’re not feelin’ well right now-”

She snorted softly, letting go of his arm. “I’m depressed, but I ain’t made of glass.”

_ Great, now you offended her.  _

“I know that look. Don’t you dare beat yourself up for it, ain’t gonna help.” She remained silent for a moment. “Trust me, I know.” 

Wrecker swallowed. “So… do you have a crush on him?”

She looked away and laughed softly. “Can ya keep a secret?”

He couldn’t keep a secret to save his life, but he’d try for Shadow. “Absolutely!”

“Ain’t just him.”

Wrecker’s brows lifted. “Tech?” Her and the nerd had stayed up late talking the night before. 

Red crept across her cheeks as she swallowed, ears nervously angled sideways as her tail rapidly twitched. “Keep goin’.”

“ _ Cross _ ?”

“ _ You _ , dingus,” Shadow chuckled, nudging him with her elbow. 

Eyes wide, his jaw dropped. “Me?! Seriously?”

“Yeah. Seriously. Got a crush on ya, big guy,” she replied with a soft smile. 

This had to be the best day of his life. Shadow had a crush on him. She had a crush on him! A girl he really liked… yes! But… she’d heard Crosshair tease him but didn’t comment. “Why not say anything sooner? You knew I liked ya thanks to Cross.”

“Aside from the fact my brain is an ass and tells me no guy will ever care for me that way? Because the last time I confessed I had a crush on a guy I deadass had a panic attack.” Her voice turned bitter as she glared into the woods. “Then, after he  _ promised _ not to ghost me, he did.”

“I’d never do that,” he swore. It was the truth; he couldn’t even imagine abandoning Shadow with no warning. He’d known her perhaps a day but he really enjoyed her bold personality and adored the fact she could match his high energy. If for some reason he was forced to say goodbye for good, he’d at least tell her why. 

“I thought that last time too. And, let’s face it, y’all are gonna leave. After the mission’s over.” She looked away, ears flat. “Best not to get too attached when it’ll be ripped from me in the end.”

Wrecker wrapped his arm back around Shadow’s shoulders, tugging her to his side. “Just because the sailors left doesn’t mean ya haveta stay behind when we leave! Come with us, you’ll fit right in!” Just the thought of charging across the galaxy with Shadow, causing all sorts of explosive chaos...

Shadow laughed dryly. “It’s more like my foot is gonna fit up Crosshair’s ass if I’m stuck in a confined space with him for more than two seconds.”

“He’s nicer when you get to know him, I promise,” Wrecker urged, but knew his words probably sounded empty to Shadow. 

Surprisingly, Shadow flicked her ears in agreement. “I figured that. But the fact is, while I would like to be on good terms with Twiggs… he hates me. And I don’t feel like dealin’ with the ups and downs that stem from enemies to lovers progression.” 

Jealousy sparked through Wrecker at the thought of Shadow also liking Crosshair, but he knew it wouldn’t be fair to force her to choose. Besides, Shadow didn’t look too keen on getting closer with Crosshair anyways. Not that he blamed her. Nevertheless, he knew if he was to convince her to join, he had to try to mend the fracture between his batchmate and Shadow. “Squeak, he’ll warm up to ya. Trust me, it’s not hate that causes ‘im to be grouchy. Think he’s just threatened by ya.”

“While being threatenin’ is a high compliment, I can’t keep snarkin’ forever,” she said with a shake of her head. “My supply of salt is big, but there’s a limit. I get tired and my rational goes out the window. Then there’s a stupid misunderstandin’ and I get  _ mean _ . Which could end in physical violence.” She hugged her knees, curling her tail around herself as she cautiously leaned into his side. “And then what?”

“Squeak, we fight and argue all the time. We’re brothers, family. It’s what we do. Feelin’s get hurt, sometimes it does get physical!” Wrecker hugged her closer. “But we have each other’s backs at the end of the day.”

“Know how that is,” Shadow mumbled.

“Did you and the sailors always get along?”

“Hell no. The amount of times I got into fights with the sailors… it was a lot. Try bein’ a young woman on a ship full of dudes with at least half bein’ sexist.”

Wrecker tried to imagine what would happen if a man insulted Shadow on the grounds that she was a woman, and immediately a dead body came to mind. “But ya worked out in the end right?”

“Had no choice. I was kinda stuck on the ship.” Her tail flicked. “Still got three or four days with y’all, I guess. Stuff could change. Who knows, maybe it's a life changin’ journey that will forever alter stuff. Seems to be how stories go.”

“I’d love to hear ‘bout your stuff sometime, Squeaky,” Wrecker said, smiling. 

Shadow laughed, a weird expression on her face. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll hear about it soon…” 

“Hey. Hunter wants you back.”

Wrecker grimaced as Shadow went stiff at Crosshair’s voice. 

_ Oh no _ . 

~***~

This was so stupid. Absolutely stupid. Shadow was going to snap at him. 

_ As she should… _

It took a moment, but Wrecker appeared around the edge of the rocks, helmet in hand. “Hey, Cross,” he said nervously, glancing down at Shadow. 

“We need to get moving.”

“Keep your damn pants on, Crosshair,” Shadow growled. Rustling met the sniper’s ears before she also appeared. 

She looked horrible, hair and fur still wet and her clothes clinging to her. Anger flashed in her eyes as well, but Crosshair could tell there was still pain beneath. He knew what it looked like when someone hid their pain beneath a coarse facade. 

He’d seen it in the mirror enough. 

“Wrecker,” Shadow said, voice far kinder as she addressed Crosshair’s batchmate. 

Something sparked in Crosshair’s chest at this, something burning hot, but he didn’t dare let it kindle into a stronger flame. He didn’t need to deal with that right now. 

“You and  _ that  _ one go on back. I’m gonna change into some dry clothes behind here and I’ll meet you in a few.” 

“Ok, Squeak,” Wrecker said, patting her shoulder before slipping his helmet back on and heading back. 

Crosshair began to follow Wrecker, but halfway back stopped. He had to say  _ something _ to her. 

_ Why _ though? What about her made him want to take back his harsh words? He wouldn’t care with the average person. Granted, she was anything  _ but _ average, yet that didn’t explain the guilt eating away at him.  _ Why  _ did he care with Shadow?

_ You know why _ .

No. No he  _ couldn’t _ . 

She wouldn’t. 

It was a waste of time and energy. It was easier to keep her away. 

But… not like this. 

Finally she passed by the tree he’d been leaning on, changing into a red sleeveless shirt and dark olive cargo pants. She’d also stuffed her wet hair back under her hat.

The moment she saw him, she scowled. “Great, what do  _ you _ want?” she growled as she continued past him towards the river.

“Shadow… wait,” he said, loathing the way his heart had crawled its way up into his throat. 

Shadow turned back to face him and lashed her tail. “I have  _ nothing  _ to say to you, Crosshair.”

Not Twiggs. Not Twiggy. Not Cross.  _ Crosshair _ … What was it about her harsh gaze that made him want to retreat into a damn hole? “You didn’t have to pull me out.”

Her eyes widened in anger. “ _ This _ again?” She took a step forward. “Crosshair, I swear I  _ will  _ use your face as a scratchin’ post.”

Crosshair, forcing himself not to flinch at the angry woman before him, didn’t doubt for a second she’d make good on that promise. She’d pushed him back in the creek after all. “No, I didn’t…”  _ Haar’chak _ what was she doing to him!? “ _ Why _ did you pull me out?”

The snarl slowly faded from Shadow’s face, hiding those unnervingly sharp teeth. She seemed confused by the question, or perhaps she was confused as he was about why she saved him. She thought it over for a long stretch of time, the only sound the wind in the trees and the distant roar of the river, before she curtly replied, “Wrecker would have been upset and you would have polluted the creek.”

That… hurt. Crosshair was immensely grateful for his helmet hiding his true expression. 

Her ears twitched as she adjusted the straps on her pack. “And guess I would have been kinda bothered to see you die.”

_ You shouldn’t be. _ He’d been an ass, he knew that, but it was better to keep her distant. Otherwise… no that subtle warmth he felt when he was near her was just agitation at her smartalleck behavior. It couldn’t be anything more. He  _ couldn’t  _ let that grow.

That would only lead to pain. 

But she didn’t deserve the pain he’d caused her.

Crosshair hesitantly stuck out his hand. “Thanks. For pullin’ me out.”

Shadow eyed his hand with suspicion. “This is Hunter’s doin’, huh? You think I’m stupid?”

_She… she doesn’t believe me._ She really was like him... “No, I-”

“You never thank anyone for  _ anything _ . Least of all  _ me _ .” 

“Shad-”

“I’m  _ not _ finished,” she hissed. “I  _ know  _ Hunter ordered you to try and make nice to keep the tension down. I’m not an idiot. I learned the hard way how to tell when someone’s not sincere. So save it,” she hissed, turning away and heading back towards the trail by the river.

Hunter had been right… he’d really stepped in it this time. Of course he did. All he did was fuck things up. Hurt people. Push them away. 

Shadow was no exception...

“I mean it,” he said softly, the words slipping out. 

She stopped but didn’t turn around. “No, we both know you don’t.” She took a deep breath. “Even if I wish you did.” 

His eyes widened, guilt ripping through him like a blaster bolt. He opened his mouth to call her back, but no words came to him. Crosshair could only watch as she walked away, leaving him standing alone with his hand still extended and the words on his lips.

_ I’m sorry... _


	12. Ch. 12 Testing the Waters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! I'm back with another chapter!   
> It's a bit wonky, perhaps, but I should probably not that interactions between Cross and I isn't quite forgiveness. More like testing the water. Anywho.
> 
> And yeah, I changed the original mountain to a volcano in the middle of the book. Oop. 
> 
> Also! Check my tumblr, I posted a sneak peak at the new Trust Shattered yesterday for Halloween! 
> 
> Content Warnings: Talk of blood extraction.

An hour and a half. 

It had been nearly an hour and a half since Shadow said anything apart from brief, one word answers and the occasional species introduction when Tech asked. And while the smell of cortisol had subsided, Hunter was starting to get worried. He knew the signs of self-destruction all too well, and prolonged silence was a big one. Especially when someone like Shadow was usually so talkative. 

They had nearly reached the top of the mountain, which would be as good a place to stop as any. He could send Crosshair to scout along the ridge, which may get Shadow talking again. 

“We’ll stop briefly at the ridgetop,” he announced.

“Good, I gotta piss,” Wrecker announced. 

Tech groaned. “Thank you for sharing.”

“My bladder hurts!” 

Crosshair meanwhile muttered, “Do we need a news flash every time your body does something?”

Hunter looked towards Shadow for a reaction, but the woman had picked up her pace and was heading up the trail. 

_ Sithspit, Crosshair really did a number on her. _ Hunter jogged after her. “Hey, Ice.”

She didn’t say anything but let Hunter catch up to her. 

Coming alongside her, he lowered his voice, “How’re you doing?”

“Tired.” 

More short worded answers, spoken through gritted teeth. 

“Can I talk to you when we get to the top?” He lowered his voice. “Alone?”

“Guess so.” 

Concern for her gnawed at him, and, to his own surprise, he let it. 

Of course he was concerned for her. She’d proven a good ally and even a friend to him and  _ most _ of his team. But even then Hunter was aware that his concern and care for her had begun to run deeper. 

Problematic of course, but this was one problem he didn’t mind. 

As they reached the crest of the hill, Wrecker peeled off and dashed into the trees. Hunter ordered Crosshair on recon and sent Tech to follow him for extra protection, leaving him alone with Shadow. 

The woman climbed up onto a large boulder and gazed out across the valley below her, tail slowly swishing side to side. Climbing up as well and standing beside her, Hunter prepared to speak but Shadow beat him to it. 

“You didn’t tell Crosshair to tell me thank you, did you?” 

Hunter stared at her in surprise. “What?”

Shadow didn’t turn her gaze from the valley. “Crosshair. Told me thanks for draggin’ him out of the stream.” 

_ He did? Tech must have made him feel guilty enough… but wait, she thinks I  _ **_told_ ** _ him to say thank you? _

Crosshair mentioned over their private comms she wouldn’t allow him to talk, and Hunter now knew why. 

“No,” he said softly, pulling off his helmet. “I  _ didn’t _ tell him to say thank you.”

Her ears flattened. “Shoulda figured that. Cross ain’t the type to just apologize unless he really feels compelled to,” she mumbled, crossing her arms. 

Hunter hesitantly patted her shoulder before letting his hand rest there. Giving what he hoped was a comforting squeeze, he said, “That why you’ve been quiet? Been thinkin’?”

“That and it was just  _ way _ too awkward.” She shook her head. “And I can’t function in awkward.” She paused, looking away. “Maybe this  _ was _ a bad idea…”

“What is?”

“You sure you want  _ me _ as your guide?” Shadow asked, ears shifting backwards. Her tail twitched. “There’s  _ gotta _ be someone-“

“No, we want you,” Hunter immediately replied. 

“Why?” Shadow groaned, brushing his hand off. “Sarge, I’m  _ clearly  _ a volatile individual. What use do you have for a guide with faulty neurons?”

“Shadow,” Hunter began, stepping closer. “ _ Everybody _ has faulty neurons. Just because we hit a snag doesn’t mean we lost all faith in you. If you got along with us at every turn no matter what,  _ then _ I’d be concerned.” 

Shadow looked over at him and held his gaze for a moment. The faintest hint of a smile made her mouth twitch. “Got a point there, Sarge. Least you know I’m sincere.”

_ One of the things I like about you _ . “I know you can still get us there,” Hunter continued. “You’re strong, you can recover.”

“I appreciate the faith.” She looked back out over the valley, closing her eyes and breathing deeply as a gust of wind swept up the mountainside. “I’d just split my skull and yeet my grey matter across the valley here if I could.”

“That would be a sight,” Hunter commented dryly.

She snorted. “Wouldn’t it? Probably give Tech a heart attack.”

“I think the sight of someone opening their head and throwing their brain would give anyone a heart attack.”

“Oh, you think so?” she commented sarcastically, raising an eyebrow at him.

A wry smile accompanied Hunter’s own sarcastic response. “I do indeed, Icy.”

Test the waters. Where did he stand? Was she truly recovering? 

“Well, call in the dogs and put out the fire! Hunter’s opinion is in, everybody else can go home,” she exclaimed in mock euphoria.

Hunter laughed.  _ There’s the Shadow I’m used to _ . 

A small smile remained on her face even as she pointed an accusatory finger at him. “I know what you’re doin’.”

“What I’m doing?” 

“You’re tryin’ to distract me and get my mind off it.”

That hadn’t really been his goal, but if this had helped her feel better he certainly wasn’t going to deny it. “Am I?”

“Yes, you are, Shaggy,” Shadow retorted, giving him a small shove. 

Shifting back to keep his balance, Hunter swatted at her hand. “Hey, tryin’ to push me off into a bramble patch?”

“Nah, you’re prickly enough.”

“Me?” he exclaimed in mock hurt, placing a hand to his chest. “You wound me.”

“Aw, poor baby.” 

_ She’s going to be just fine,  _ Hunter thought, flashing a small smirk her way. 

“I’m back!” Wrecker announced, much to Hunter’s chagrin. 

He wanted more time alone with Shadow. 

Wrecker climbed up beside them. The demolition expert, helmet carried under his arm, grinned and nudged Shadow. “Hey, Squeak. Good to see you smilin’ again!”

“Good to crack a smile again, Wreck,” she remarked, a characteristic smirk revealing her teeth. 

Wrecker looked from her to Hunter, then back to her. “Can I tell him? What you said? Just about me?” 

As Hunter raised an eyebrow, Shadow twitched her ears. “Only concernin’ you, sure.” 

_ What could they have discussed after I left them?  _ “What did I miss-”

“Shadow likes me back, Sarge!” 

Shadow winced and clamped her hands over her ears. “Oof, easy big fella.”

_ What?! _ Hunter had figured that, but hearing it… Pain briefly stabbed his chest and he fought to push it down. 

_ Cut that out. Shadow’s happy. That’s the main thing _ . 

“Sorry, Squeak,” Wrecker chuckled nervously. “I just got excited!” 

“Well, at least the birds in the hollar know now,” Shadow remarked with a snort, rubbing her ears. She looked back at Hunter and a small frown appeared. “Look kinda disappointed there, Sarge.” 

Was he  _ that _ obvious? “No, just… surprised.”

_ Please let this woman not catch that obvious lie _ .

Shadow looked him up and down suspiciously. “I ain’t gonna distract him, and I ain’t gonna hurt him.”

_ No, you’d never do that _ . “It’s… no it’s not that. I trust you not to do that.”

“What is it?”

“Er, nothin’.”

“Whatever you say, mate.” Shadow started past him back towards the path, when her heart rate suddenly jumped. “You know, Sarge.” Her tail brushed his hand as she passed. “It is possible to have a crush on more than one person.” 

With that she was gone off the rocks, leaving Hunter to stare after her, almost daring to hope that meant what he thought it meant. He glanced at Wrecker, but his brother merely grinned at him. 

_ She likes me. Shadow likes me! _

~***~

Well that was  _ stupid _ . My cheeks burned and I was fairly certain I was redder than a tomato. But honestly, the last few hours had been  _ rife  _ with emotional shenanigans and chaos, so maybe that’s why my sense of logic was nonexistent. 

First the disaster with Crosshair going swimming, then the  _ other _ mess, then me nearly taking out poor Tech’s head, then Wrecker confronting me on the crush, then Crosshair  _ apologizing _ of all things, then I basically let slip I liked Hunter...

“Should have stayed in my room,” I groaned, shaking my head. 

“But it is healthy to have occasional exposure to the sun.”

Ears swiveling in the direction of Tech’s voice, I braced myself but Crosshair wasn’t with him. Worried, I asked, “Where’s Cross?”

Tech’s brows furrowed. “I thought you would be happy to not see him?”

“I’m honestly not sure what emotion his existence or non-existence results in, Tech,” I groaned. 

“I see. It is understandable your emotions are in disarray.” Tech paused. “Are you feeling better?” 

Hunter’s encouragement flashed through my mind. “Yeah. Just feelin’ tired.”

“I disrupted your normal sleep pattern last night by keeping you up, didn't I?” Tech asked, a guilty expression spreading across his face.

“No, Tech. I’ve just never slept well. Can’t remember last time I slept the entire night.” 

“Perhaps your species does not have a single continuous sleep cycle a night?” Tech asked.

“Maybe,” I mused. My ears snapped forwards as movement caught my eye and I looked up to see Crosshair coming back to our resting place.

Should I say something? No, he’d snap at me. Luckily I was spared by Hunter jumping down to us, followed by Wrecker. 

“See anything, Cross?” Hunter asked.

“Nothin’,” the sniper replied. 

Hunter turned to me. “Alright, Ice. How much longer until we reach the Vault?”

“Ain’t reachin’ it today, Shaggy,” I corrected. “Got a day or two of journey still.” 

“It’s a mountain, right?” Tech asked. 

“In a mountain, yeah-”

An explosion of bright orange molten rock burst before my eyes. Reeling back, slamming into someone whose arms wrapped around me to catch me, I grabbed my head at the sudden influx of information. 

It changed. 

The damn thing changed. 

I could no longer see the entrance to a mineshaft. At least not one framed by hardwoods and shrubs. 

Ferns and lush vegetation clustered around the yawning entrance to a lava tube, thick tendrils of ivy partially obscuring it. Steam curling up from fractures scouring through dark obsidian rock. A raging inferno deep within the mountain… no.

“Shadow, are you alright?” 

My ear immediately twitched as Hunter’s voice sounded  _ right _ next to it. That action was followed by a sneeze as my ear smacked Hunter in the nose. 

“Oops, sorry, Shaggy,” I groaned, trying to roll out of his arms.

A faceplant resulted from that action, but when Tech scrambled to set me upright I groaned, “No no, let me lie here for a minute. Dirt is cool.”

Hunter rested a hand on my back. “Sithspit, another information flash?” 

“Ya,” I mumbled. “Whoever is pokin’ my tail, cease.”

“Sorry,” Wrecker mumbled. “It was hittin’ me.”

I flopped it to the other side. 

Tech tried to roll me over. “Your heart rate drastically deviated from the usual course!”

He launched into some far more complicated medical jargon and I waited until he paused to take a breath. “Basic, Tech.”

“It’s not good!” Tech continued to grab at my shoulder. “At least let me measure your blood pressure!” 

I almost said no but relented and held up my arm. Least I could do after I nearly took out the nerd.

“I personally believe you should also let me examine your shoulder ligaments,” Tech added, rattling around in his pack for something. 

“She isn’t a lab rat, Four Eyes.”

My ears flicked up at Crosshair’s voice. “Thanks, Twiggs,” I mumbled and hesitated before I reached in his direction with my free hand until I found what I assumed to be his foot. I poked it. “That you?” 

Crosshair was silent before the armor shifted under my hand and fingers brushed mine. “Yeah.”

I tapped against his knuckle guard before letting my hand flop back to the dirt. “Thanks.”

“No problem…” He paused. “Sweetheart.”

I flicked my ears as Tech fitted what I assumed to be the Star Wars equivalent of a blood pressure cuff around my arm. 

“Shadow, you need to sit up for this,” Tech said. 

“Fine,” I grumbled, hauling myself up. “Hunter, hold still I’m usin’ you as a leanin’ post.” 

“Um, alright,” Hunter said as I leaned against his side. 

Once Tech had done his measurement, the nerd frowned. “It’s perfectly fine!” 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” I snickered. 

“Well, it makes no sense. There’s  _ something _ that happens to you when that occurs! Your vitals basically disappear when that happens!” 

“What a mystery this is.” 

“Are you  _ certain _ I cannot have one tiny blood sample?” Tech asked. 

“More certain than I have been about almost anything,” I afrimed, shuffling back into Hunter as my tail bristled. 

“Tech,” Hunter warned as he rested a hand on my shoulder. “May be wise to drop that.”

Tech pouted. “But Hunter, she can give up a simple vial!”

“Are you insinuatin’ that I’m bein’ greedy with my own blood?” I exclaimed. 

Color spread across his cheeks. “It.. It’s just I really could learn a lot about your physiology with it.” 

“Denied,” I growled. “My blood is my own blood. It ain’t up for grabs. If I get a nasty cut and am already bleedin’ your welcome to yoink some then, but no way in hell am I lettin’ you poke me with a needle.” 

“But when you get cut I can have some?”

“I said  _ if _ , you persistent little vampire.”

Tech mumbled under his breath but removed the cuff from my arm and stored it back in his pack. Wait… why did he even have that?

_ Don’t ask questions. Go with it. _

Fair enough. 

“Can you walk, Shadow?” Hunter asked as I shuffled away from him. 

“Lemme see.” I slowly stood, the men eyeing me warily with Wrecker moving to catch me in case I fell. Luckily I didn’t. “Yeah, just can’t go fast.”

“Why did you have one of those episodes, Squeak?” Wrecker asked, grabbing my pack off the ground and handing it to me. 

Slipping it back on, I replied, “Y’all ain’t gonna believe me, but deadass. It ain’t a mountain anymore. Not a regular one. It’s a volcano.”

“Are you saying an  _ entire _ mountain changed form?” Hunter exclaimed, getting to his feet. 

“The Vault is magic. If it’s the same type of magic found on Keluisa, and it most likely is considering I came through a portal, the scenery can… shift.”

_ No the fuck it can’t. This some other nonsense. Like a writer changing their mind on the plot a third of the way into the damn book.  _

“Shadow, if I may ask, why is it necessary to get to the Vault? Shouldn’t any normal weapon work?” Tech asked, getting to his feet.

“Ain’t that simple. Long story short, Alphians’ creator actually engineered Alphians with  _ very _ few weaknesses. A warrior species unmatched on the battlefield. Of those, the most lethal and effective is the Kelusyte crystal which is  _ only _ found on Kelusia.” 

I didn’t tell them that that was at impossible depths in deep magmatic chambers that had long since emptied, and the only way to get at it was to risk going through the planet’s core, but that could wait. 

“Could you tell the long story while we hike?” Tech asked, slipping his helmet back on. “So I could record it for my database?” 

“You don’t publish that do you?” I asked uncertainly. “Don’t want the entire galaxy learnin’ how to fuck my species over.” 

“No no, it is only for me.” He paused. “Or at least I will keep your recording a secret.”

“I find out different, you’ll regret it,” I grumbled. 

Tech audibly swallowed. “I understand.” 

“She’ll carry that out,” Crosshair remarked. 

I glanced at him before taking a deep breath. “Alrighty, boys. Story time.” 


	13. Ch. 13 Birth of an Alpha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter purely for the sake of worldbuilding! But relevant worldbuilding.   
> Plus some lovely HunterxShadow shenanigans because comedy. 
> 
> Also, this is gonna be the last chapter for roughly a month or more until exams are done. I seem to have reached peak exhaustion to the point I've actually been sick for the last 5 days due to stress. Oop.   
> Not because of this story, but *gestures* everything else. College mainly. It's killing me. So I'm taking a break until college ends.   
> At least from full chapters. But fear not! I'll probably post some drafts and such on tumblr occasionally. And I also plan to do a small revisit to Off to a Great Start and Enigma then put them both into a PDF file. I'll also revisit the first 13 chapters of Over the River and Through the Woods since I fear the quality dropped a bit. No major plot changes, though. Just tweaking the basics.   
> I ALSO may be posting a few snippets from my Umbara story "Shadow in the Dark" because fuck Krell's muppet-reject looking headass. May also post a peak at Echo's rescue "Fallen Not Forgotten" because fuck them jukebox wannabes on wheels and EVERYTHING they stand for.
> 
> Last thing! I actually posted a face reveal on tumblr, under the tag Shadow Speaks! Go check it out if you'd like!  
> See y'all in a month or so! <3
> 
> Content Warning: Talk of blood extraction (because Tech is still at that) and species biology.

“Let’s see,” I mused as we started down into the valley. “Where do I start?”

“Perhaps it would be wise to start at the beginning with who created your species?” Tech asked, sticking close to my side. 

_ Reasonable enough place _ . “Psycho named Sheldon Stienfrank. Standard power hungry maniac,” I snorted, jumping down onto a rock. “Ok, let me get my storytellin’ voice.” 

_ And let’s see if I can remember my Birth of an Alpha story.  _

“Long ago,” I began dramatically. “Keluisa was a vast land full of danger. The strong preyed upon the weak, instinct replacing law and reason. Power was a constant source of conflict, as everyone wanted to control the resources. Death stalked the land and brothers turned against each other with even the slightest temptation of power.”

“Nice story voice,” Hunter commented. 

“Thanks, Sarge, now shush.” 

He raised his hands in surrender. 

“So, Kelusia was basically a complete and utter free for all. Men fought against each other while the other creatures basically let them have at it, hoping they’d maybe kill each other off.” 

“What other species do you mean? Tech asked, hopping down beside me on the rock. “Were they magic like you?” 

I slipped off the rock to another down the trail before hopping back on the trail. “It varied. You had species that weren’t naturally magic, then some that were. One key species I should mention is the Elementals. They, unsurprisingly, could wield the different Elements.” 

“Are they where you get your power from?” 

“Gettin’ there, Techie.” Working my way over some roots, I continued over my shoulder, “Unlike most stories, where a theoretical knight comes in with shining theoretical armor, the man who changed the planet, Sheldon himself, had power and control in mind when he did the unthinkable.”

“What did he do?” 

“Let her talk,” Crosshair muttered. 

_ Well, he’s definitely trying to repair what damage he caused. I’ll give that to you, Twiggs.  _ “So, just background for informational purposes, the species in Stone’s Throw Star System were created by highly powerful mystical bein’s called Grey Greys, also known as the Creators.”

“The… Creators?” Hunter echoed. “Because they created.”

“Hey, sometimes people are original and fanciful and sometimes they’re straight to the point when it comes to namin’.” A faint chill went up my spine as I stepped in a cool patch of mud, the cold seeping through the pads on the bottom of my feet. “But the Great Greys loaned Sheldon some of their technology in an experiment of a sort. He then started to combine the DNA from different species into a single creature. That creature would be the start of an indestructible apex warrior species, aka Alphians.”

This seemed to surprise Hunter. “Your species was created in a lab?” 

I nodded. “Correct, Shaggy. Roughly four thousand years ago. Sheldon ran around the entire planet collecting DNA from the most dangerous predator groups. Raptor, feline, ursine, snake, shark, canine, and lizard. But that wasn’t enough. The mad idiot went to the Elemental Tribes and asked for some of their DNA. The agile Cloud Jumpers, the dreaded Night Stalkers, the sharp-tongued Ice Breathers, the swift Storm Summoners, the graceful Sea Dwellers, the volatile Pyromaniacs, and finally, the headstrong Earth Shakers.” 

“Headstrong Earth Shakers, huh?” Wrecker laughed. “That’s you alright, Squeak!” 

“Ha ha. The bloodlines eventually mixed all up so my clan, the Hydes, actually are closer to the Night Stalkers.” My attention was pulled away by a bird chirping within the trees. 

Hunter looked in that direction, hand reaching for his blade. “See somethin’?” 

“Yeah, a bird,” I snorted. “Damn ADD be yoinkin’ my attention every five seconds. Where was I?”

“Night Stalkers.” 

“Ok, so he’s got this gene soup, right? Elemental powers, animalistic instincts and predatory instincts, and a humanoid form. That mix is dangerous enough on its own, but Sheldy wasn’t satisfied with just animal  _ traits _ . The dumbass went off the deep end and sailed his ass down to a place called the Forbidden Archipelago.” 

“Sounds ominous,” Hunter commented. 

“What gave you that impression?” I chuckled as I continued down the trail, stopping briefly to poke at some moss. I couldn’t help but notice that since I gave him that…  _ hint…  _ his tone had gotten more relaxed and less “officer-y”. If that was a term. 

Oh, I hoped my gamble was worth the risk. I’d have to try another test later. 

I hated suspense, and I’d be damned if this fic was gonna be one of  _ those _ . If Hunter didn’t make a move by the end of the night, I was taking matters into my own hands. 

_ Oh, great, my own mad scientist is coming out. Time to conduct experiments without regard for the consequences of the outcome!  _

What could possibly go wrong?

_ A multitude of things…  _

_ Yolo.  _

“Anyways, that island group is one of the most magical sites on Kelusia, and I don’t mean happy go lucky magic that brings happiness and joy. Dark magic pit, one of the biggest magic leaks on the planet.”

“Why go there?” 

“That’s where the Shapeshifters lived. They’re a Precursor species, one of the first that the Great Greys created at the start of life on the planet, and immortal.”

“Are  _ you _ immortal?” Tech asked, eyes wide beneath the helmet. 

“Ha, no.”  _ Well, I personally might be. _ “Alphians are biologically immortal, or at least we originally were. Got a death gene now that takes us out at around six hundred Kelusian years.”

“ _ Six hundred years _ ?” Tech exclaimed. “How many of your species are there? That leaves a long time for procreation!” 

I couldn’t hide my surprise at the question, eyes going wide.  _ Of  _ **_course_ ** _ you’d think about that, Tech. Ever the scientist.  _

“Tech!” Hunter exclaimed, voice an octave higher than usual as Wrecker fought down a laugh. “I told you, you can’t just ask different species that!” 

_ This is  _ **_normal_ ** _ for Tech to ask these off the wall questions? Hellfire… maybe that’s why the Yalbecs got pissed.  _ “Alphians age like humans until around thirty or fourty, then we just hover around there physically until we near five fifty. But we aren’t fertile, if that’s what you’re wonderin’, until around sixty to seventy. Then we’re only fertile for about forty years after that.” 

I did some quick calculations in my head, factoring in all the years. Ok, Star Wars supposedly took place in Earth’s fifties or forties, and my last chronological story takes place in the eighties… 

“The Alphian government also put a ban on more than two kids, unless you’re offworld. So it’s not over populated.” 

“But what about-”

“Tech, let her finish the story,” Hunter interrupted, speaking through gritted teeth. 

I flicked my ears in thanks before continuing, “So yeah Sheldy waltzed on down but didn’t quite get to the outer volcanic ring before one Shifter, Hypnoz, stopped him.”

“What do they look like? When not shifted?” Tech eagerly asked, disregarding Hunter’s order. 

Usually I’d hate being interrupted but in this case I didn’t mind. I had an excuse to talk about my critters, which I’d always take advantage of. 

“Humanoid. Really tall and lanky fellas, antlers, rounded ears, long tail with a stinger, clawed fingers and toes, shaggy fur on the underside of their forearms, semi-long muzzle with conical teeth. But Hypnoz was in a human form since no one really knew what they look like unless visited in their dreams.” 

“How do you know?” Crosshair asked, suspicion in his voice. 

My tail tip twitched in agitation, but not at Crosshair. If I proved I knew information that the average inhabitant wouldn’t it shouldn’t know, then they’d get suspicious. _ I should be careful what I say _ … “Trevor told me. He’s seen ‘em.” 

Crosshair grunted but left it at that. 

“Ok, anyways, so yeah. Hypnoz was pretty close with the gods, all Shifters are given their status as Precursors, so he knew why Sheldon was down there, but when he tried to warn off Sheldon, the mad scientist was  _ stubborn  _ to say the least. But Hypnoz also knew the outcome of the endeavor would result in humans losing their top spot on the planet, which would greatly benefit every other lifeform, so he gave Sheldon some blood and off Sheldon went.”

“See? Blood is a helpful component,” Tech grumbled. 

“My dude, you’re embodyin’ a mad scientist again when I’m literally tellin’ you about the dangers of doin’ that,” I laughed, skirting around a tree and taking a shortcut over a boulder. I almost leapt off the rock only to halt at the last second as Hunter lunged forward and grabbed my tail with both hands. 

Good thing, too. 

The rock jutted out over the trail which abruptly dropped and cut back under the rock. The ground was about thirty feet below me, and while it was spongy pine needles I did not like my chances of escaping without a broken bone. 

“Yike,” I mumbled, peering over the edge with flattened ears. 

Hunter slowly pulled me back from the edge. “Distracted, Ice?” he teased, although I heard worry in his voice. 

“Kinda,” I grumbled, shifting off the rocks. “Can’t believe I pulled a damn Tumbleweed.” 

“Oh!” Tech exclaimed. “You know pilot terminology?” 

_ That applies in Star Wars too? Neat. Wonder if they know MOTO. Don’t think that’s pilot terminology though…  _ “A bit. I know some pilots.” 

“I see. How many other terms do you know?”

“Honestly, my given knowledge in any topic is a gamble. My mind is a patchwork of vague references and trivia,” I laughed, going to walk around the right way before I realized Hunter still had my tail. “Sarge? Can I have that back?” I asked, pointing at it. 

He looked down at his hands before jerking away as if he’d been stung. “Sorry.” 

“It ain’t electric,” I remarked, slipping past to go down the path. 

Ok, he  _ had _ to like me back. Granted it’d been like… a day. But the Fanfiction Fasttrack was a common thing, not to mention I was probably on the Self-Insert speedway. So if it  _ was _ one of those fanfics, which it probably was, if any of these boys aside from Wrecker liked me, they would have already fallen. 

Which would be just swell because I didn’t know how to handle a single dude liking me, let alone four. 

_ Excellent practice! _

_ You’re pulling a Tech and using every conceivable event as a research opportunity.  _

_ Well, we  _ **_are_ ** _ a writer.  _

_ No shit. I’m literally relaying some worldbuilding and have been for the past fifteen minutes.  _

“Alright, where was I?” 

“Hypnoz gave Sheldon the blood?” 

“Right. So Sheldon scuttled back to his lab and created the first of my species. Her name was Alphia, and her name is what served as the basis for our overall species name. There’s a bit more to it, but the basics is the Shapeshifters are why we need to go to Kelusia. Their one weakness is the Kelusyte crystal, therefore it’s one of our only weaknesses.”

“I see,” Hunter said, sliding down the trail behind me. “So this crystal. It can be made into bullets? So they’d need slugthrowers to free that planet.” 

“Or it can also be made into a gas. Not as strong, but enough to be useful.”

“You said it was  _ one _ weakness. What are your species’ others?” Tech asked, coming to my side. 

“Now why would I tell you how to take me down, nerd?” I asked with a snort.

“It could be useful if the gas does not work on the invaders.”

_ Ha, no need to worry about that _ . “Oh, it’ll work. It literally infects our cells and rips us apart from the inside out. No cure, no way to stop it. Like a cancer.”

“Doesn’t your species come back after death?” Tech asked. “Reports say that the creatures on the desert planet do so.”

“A limited number of times, yeah. But not with Kelusyte. That takes all your lives. One after another. You die, wake up, die, wake up, repeat until you’ve lost your last life.” 

_ Morbid, much? _

Wrecker seemed to have the same idea. “You’re pretty calm for talkin’ about somethin’ that deadly!” he laughed. 

_ I ain’t even told you about the Tear of Death. But I certainly  _ **_ain’t_ ** _ tellin’ you about the collars.  _

“Yeah well. You know,” I shrugged off. 

“Are you descended from Alphia, then?” Tech asked as we climbed over and around some granite formations jutting from the ground. 

_ Not unless I’m a Bloodsmoke _ . “No, Alphia didn’t have any natural descendants,” I said, peering at the rock before moving on. “Her brother and the other First Born, a dangerous fella named Horet, didn’t have any kids either but he kinda... expired when he was in his early thirties.”

“I thought your species lived to around six hundred?” 

“There  _ may  _ have been a minor war that sprang up when Horet got fed up with being treated as a livin’ weapon and resulted in Horet enslaving the humans on Alphiana, after which Alphia had to kill him to free them.” 

“Livin’ weapon?” Crosshair asked softly. 

_ That would be a sore spot for these guys…  _ “Yeah. Sheldon made more, whose names I will absolutely  _ butcher _ , but there was an Alphian for each of the Elemental clans.” 

“What are the clans?” Tech asked. 

“There’s one for each element and each animal type. There’s the Agors, with air and raptors. Then the Izierv, with ice and ursines. Hydes with darkness and felines, Jekyls with lightning and snakes, Zyvors with earth and lizards, Xandals with water and sharks, then finally Vulry with fire and canines. Granted the types can be found throughout the clans now, same thing with elements, but that’s what they originally were because it was based on environmental factors.”

“And the Jekyls are the ones invadin’ the planet,” Hunter said. 

I nodded, once again prodding at some moss. “Yep. The clans still live in their original homeland, and Jekyls are a desert group. Very militaristic, or at least a vast majority. They like invadin’ for resources since their territory isn’t very resource rich.”

“Species in resource poor areas are often more likely to try and expand their territory to better sustain themselves,” Tech mused with a nod.

I returned the nod. “But that aside, Sheldon was favorable to Alphia and wanted her as the tactician and therefore encouraged her to be very educated and spoiled her. Horet, on the other hand… treated as a dumb brute and a beast useful only for manual tasks or dirty work. It… didn’t sit well with either of the siblin’s, but in the end it was Alphia who used a Kelusyte crystal to take Horet down after he’d killed Sheldon and enslaved the humans on Alphiana.”

“Your culture shows Horet as the aggressor for freein’ himself from that asshole Sheldon, don’t they?” Crosshair growled. 

My voice lowered. “You know how it goes. Victors write history, then those in power will rewrite it until it fits their narrative. When history is changed, history is lost. This is no exception. Horet is far more a complicated character than people will probably ever give him credit for.”

“Character?” Hunter asked. 

I fought to keep my fur flat.  _ You’re on thin ice. Tread  _ **_very_ ** _ carefully… _ “Yeah, I call people characters. You know, like how some people say don’t get tangled with people of that character?”

“Right…” Hunter said slowly. 

“Shadow, something wrong?” Tech asked. “Your heart rate increased!”

_ Oh  _ **_fuck me_ ** _.  _ “Well, yeah, course it did!” I laughed nervously. “I’m climbin’ out of this dip.” I kicked a rock down behind me for emphasis as I stood at the top of the small incline. 

“Are you sure?”

“Tech, you’ve been askin’ her for blood, it’s no wonder her heart rate is abnormal.” 

I shot Hunter a grateful look. “Sergeant Shaggy’s got a point,” I said, trotting down the opposite side of the rise. “Needles get my adrenaline goin’ and are a sure fire way to give me an anxiety attack.”

“I wouldn’t hurt you, Shadow. It’d be super quick and painless!” Tech assured me, jogging to my side and placing a hand on my arm. “I promise!” 

My tail bushed out. “For the love of… Tech, what in the world are you plannin’ to do out here?” I asked, ducking under a branch before vaguely gesturing around. “You ain’t got any of your fancy equipment unless you are carryin’ a DNA tester in that pack.”

“As a matter of fact!” Tech chirped, a grin forming under his helmet. “I happen to have a pocket sized one!”

My ears flattened. “Why do I say things?”

“That can wait,” Hunter said, picking up his pace to not get left behind. “Ice, do you know where on your planet to get this crystal that can help us defeat the invaders?” 

I slowed my own pace. Truthfully, I knew  _ exactly _ where to get it. But that was also the problem. If I told them the exact spot, after I was supposedly gone from the planet for years… “I may know a spot or two,” I answered cautiously. “Gettin’ Kelusyte ain’t easy. All mines have been closed down and the entrances blown up. The Council doesn’t want  _ anyone _ getting it. No one knows where the old mines are. There’d really only be three places to find it.”

Wrecker spoke up. “Where’s that?”

“The three continents not controlled by Alphians. Then again, Humalera is unlikely. The Alphian-Human war centuries ago resulted in a massive invasion that closed or destroyed almost all the mines that could have had Kelusyte. Findin’ one there isn’t a good bet.” 

I stopped at a gap in the trees and looked out over the valley again. The sun was definitely lower… maybe the day/night cycle was quicker here. 

_ Ha, this is a filler planet. I don’t even know the name. Probably doesn’t even have one, lazy ass writer. The facts about the planet probably change day to day. Ain’t no use even ponderin’ on the way it works. Just take the rules and run with it.  _

“The others?”

“Itheria,” I replied. “That’s the Relks homeland. They’re not big on combat, except for the pirate bunch.”

“Telekinetic pirates?” Crosshair asked, then groaned. “Great…”

“There’s one last place,” I said, continuing down the trail. If the sun  _ was _ setting, we needed to get to… Sarah’s, was it? We needed to get there before nightfall. Hopefully she wouldn’t mind me using her shower…

“Where’s that, Squeak?” 

I inhaled and let it out slow. “Mysteria. That’s our best bet. Kelusyte is found deep. Very deep.” I paused, unsure if I should tell them it was very likely getting Kelusyte would involve a risky trip that could land us in the Network. 

“What is it?” Tech asked. “Who controls Mysteria?”

“We can take ‘em, Squeak!” Wrecker boasted, patting me on the shoulder as he forced Tech out of the way to walk by my side. 

I had to laugh. “One or two maybe. Maybe even five. But Rageryans are clan-bound. They never travel alone.” 

“Rageryans?” Hunter asked. “That’s your friend Trevor’s species, right?”

“He’s an Alph-Rag Halfblood, but yeah.”

“If they’re like Trevor without the lightnin’, we can handle ‘em!” Wrecker laughed. 

“Uh… Trevor is only  _ half _ -Rag. Most Rags are a head taller than  _ you _ , Scruffy,” I said, poking Wrecker’s chest plate. 

“Giants?” Tech asked, squeezing his way between Wrecker and I as Hunter cursed under his breath. 

“Basically. The males reach around seven and a half feet, while the females can hit eight feet.”  _ Big fellas.  _

“So the females are the dominant sex for Rageryans?” Tech asked, curious.

“Yep, just like with Alphians,” I added. 

“We can still handle ‘em,” Hunter remarked. “We’ve never failed before.”

_ Sarge, you are not winning against Ace.  _ It would be interesting to see, though. 

“Hope you’re right, Sarge,” I sighed with a shake of my head. “Either way, it’ll certainly be an adventure.” 

Wasn’t that the truth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Sheldon Steinfrank is a reference to Mary Shelly and Frankenstein. :D
> 
> For those who desire more information on clans plus the original members:   
> https://shadowsstorystuff.tumblr.com/post/620193345384415232/alphian-clans
> 
> Also don't worry, unlike my usual ominous warnings there's not some catastrophic occurrence between me and Hunter when I bring up the thing. It's just comedic awkwardness.


	14. Ch. 14 Existential Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the can. Existential crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter time! Been about a month so I figured I should upload again! The end is a bit rough but hey, I can always patch it later! 
> 
> Been busy in the month since the last chapter, including a complete revision of Off to a Great Start!   
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/249801781-off-to-a-great-start-revised-edition  
> I did update the old story on here but uh... that was a mistake because now comments are now all messed up thanks to chapters being different (there's 23 instead of 20). Go check it out! :D
> 
> Also been making polls, but I'll add that at the end so you can get into the story! 
> 
> As for this chapter itself, enjoy some talk on Realm Walkers and a rather conflicted Hunter!  
> Then some crack head energy from me who's been watching way too many vines lately. 
> 
> Enjoy!

It just wasn’t adding up. 

So many inconsistencies. 

Too many. 

What was  _ with _ her?

Hunter stared after Shadow as they walked down the trail. Tech and Wrecker both seemed to be having a silent war with each other over who got Shadow’s full attention, the smaller clone trying to pry planetary and species related information from her while the demolition expert questioned her on different weapons or fighting techniques she liked best. The Alphian woman was doing her best to treat each soldier equally, though she did appear partial to Wrecker. 

She looked so… happy. At ease with Hunter’s team, as if talking with them was the most natural thing in the world to her despite Wrecker and Tech being vastly different in conversation. Her enthusiasm was almost infectious, even from this distance. Hunter found himself smiling under his helmet at the sound of her laugh, only to force it away and refocus on his current conundrum.

Something about the way she told that story… 

She knew it well.  _ Too _ well almost. 

Then there was her character comment about that Alphian. Hornet was his name? 

_ He’s a far more complicated character than people will ever give him credit for _ . 

Character. Why use  _ character _ ? Why not  _ person _ ? 

She  _ had _ to be a Realm Walker. She had to. 

Hunter always doubted their existence since the moment he heard tales of them. To be able to willfully travel between realities? Come and go as they pleased? That was just ridiculous. Impossible! 

Yet Shadow just… maybe they  _ did  _ exist. 

She knew 99. Why else would she know 99 unless she was from another reality? 

Of course that would mean they themselves were a book, show, or holo… which would definitely be grounds for a mild to moderate existential crisis. 

But Shadow knew things she should logically  _ not _ . She knew about the squad in fairly good detail, which was quite unusual for a Nat-Born. Especially one so far in the Outer Rim. No one had  _ ever _ recorded them either, or at least in a way that the footage would be accessible to civvies. But she knew of Plan 82: Shockwave. There was no way she could know that  _ unless _ she was a Realm Walker.

It was so  _ odd _ . 

_ Maybe I’m paranoid _ ?  _ Thinking too hard? I need another opinion.  _

As Tech and Wrecker jokeyed for Shadow’s attention, Hunter lagged back and fell into step beside Crosshair. After instructing the sniper to switch to a private frequency, Hunter said, “Something isn’t right with Shadow.”

“She’s definitely strange,” Crosshair mumbled. “But she likes you, what’s your issue with her?”

“It’s not a personal issue  _ against _ her,” Hunter defended, trying to ignore the hope that swelled within his chest at the start of Crosshair’s last sentence. “I like her well enough.”

“Bet ya do.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hunter asked, slightly irritated. 

“The kriff ya think it means?” Crosshair snorted. “Ya  _ clearly _ have a crush on her.” 

Hunter began to deny it, but trailed off. No, that was the truth. He’d fallen for this bold yet playful mountain guide, and he’d fallen  _ hard _ . Her snark, determination, skills… not to mention that damn cheeky smirk of hers always made his heart race. “So what if I do?”

Crosshair didn’t respond with a sneer, to Hunter’s surprise. “ Just be careful. She may use it against ya.”

“You think Shadow is plannin’ to betray us?” Hunter echoed. Would she? Could that really be her goal? Was all this just a long term ploy to get them to lower their guard before she turned on them and took them down? 

Crosshair remained silent for a few moments. “No. She’s too sincere.” He paused again. “About everythin’. She lets you know up front where you stand with her. No worryin’ about true motives.”

_ And you like that about her. I’m not blind.  _ “She’s not quite sincere about  _ everything. _ ”

“Should I stun her now and interrogate her?” When Hunter jerked his head to stare at Crosshair, the sniper added, “I’m kiddin’.”

“I should hope so.” Hunter took a deep breath. “Because if my hunch is correct, the last thing we should do is piss her off in any way.”

Crosshair grunted. “Now I’m curious. What’s gotten into your head?”

“I think Shadow’s a Realm Walker.”

Silence. Far longer than the sniper’s first pause. Hunter could already hear the sneer in Crosshair’s reply. 

Trying to calm his pounding heart and sweaty palms, Hunter found himself refocusing on the source of his current turmoil. 

Still going back and forth between the slicer and demolition expert, Shadow looked to be telling another story about something, her gestures exaggerated and quick. Her voice had also risen in pitch, something Hunter had noticed whenever she got excited about something. Her accent changed as well, growing thicker as she spoke faster. Then there was the fact her pupils got big like an excited tooka’s. 

It was, he dared to admit… cute. 

Hunter now wished he hadn’t lingered back to talk to Crosshair and instead had stayed up front so he’d know what could possibly have gotten her so excited. Then he’d know what to do to make her smile again. 

The sniper at his side finally spoke. “You’re karked in the head.” 

That had been the reaction Hunter expected. Nevertheless, it still stung. “Listen, Cross. Hear me out. How else could she know the things she does?” 

“She researches?”

“Us? Why  _ us _ in particular?” Hunter stressed. 

“She has a love for clones, obviously. Probably saw somethin’ on us while watchin’ for that.”

“Crosshair, that’s not it…” Hunter took another deep breath. “She knows how Ninety-Nine died.”

Crosshair stiffened. “She  _ what _ ?”

“She knows of him, and that he died a soldier. She knows he was a maintenance clone even before I told her.”

“How could she know that?” Crosshair demanded. “No civvie would know about maintenance clones on Kamino, let alone a rejected one. Not to mention he only died a few months ago. She should have been with her sailor friends durin’ that time.” 

_ Exactly.  _ **_Should_ ** _ have been.  _

“That’s another thing,” Hunter said. “There’s  _ zero _ major ports on this planet. But I saw the pictures of her on that ship myself. That tech does  _ not _ match the tech here. Nor does their clothing. Even Shadow’s clothing doesn’t match theirs in any photo. Those sailors have to have been a different reality from hers.”

Crosshair remained silent. “A Realm Walker…” 

Hunter nodded. “Certainly looks that way.”

“Is this her reality?”

_ That’s the problem _ . “If it isn’t, which I don’t think it is… all this pain in the galaxy has been orchestrated by someone for their own sick amusement.”

“All we’re doin’ is for nothin’ then. We’re just  _ puppets _ ?” Crosshair snarled, voice full of venom. 

“Not quite,” Hunter corrected. “There’s a reason Realm Walkers are so valuable to the side they’re on. They can change the future if they want because they know the events that will lead to it.”

“Shadow isn’t on anyone’s side,” Crosshair reminded him. “Other than her own. She doesn’t like bein’ controlled.”

“But if someone were to gain her trust…” Hunter began.

“That’s dangerous. She’s smart, and will quickly figure out any lies.”

Hunter swallowed. “I’m… not lying.”

“Huh, really do care for the feral brat, don’t you?”

“You’re a damn liar if she hasn’t grown on you,” Hunter muttered, rolling his eyes. 

Crosshair didn’t say anything for a moment before muttering, “I tolerate her, she’s got my respect.”

_ She’s got more than that from you _ . “I’ll ask her about the Realm Walker thing.”

“Better not tonight.”

“Why?”

“You, her, and Wrecker may have a love triangle with Tech tryin’ to wiggle his way in, but attraction doesn’t mean she’ll trust ya with that. If she feels threatened, she could get defensive which means she’ll be dangerous and unpredictable.”

_ As you found out the hard way _ . “Fine,” Hunter resigned. “I’ll wait.”

“‘Sides,” Crosshair snorted. “Don’t bite off more than ya can chew.”

“Big words from you,” Hunter snorted, shoving at Crosshair. 

The sniper swatted him away. “Figure out your love issue before ya go headfirst into an existential crisis.”

“Too late for that,” Hunter muttered.

He knew one thing for sure, however. He had to figure out what was really going on. 

In both cases. 

_ I’ll bring up the crush tonight. Maker, help me…  _

~***~

The urge to bounce crept up through my chest and send bolts of energy to my limbs. Great. Perfect. Wonderful time to get wired. 

We’d made it almost to the foot of the mountain by now, the sun threatening to dip below the tallest peaks. An hour or two before it set was my best guess. We should make it to the farm by then. Wasn’t sure how, but I knew in my gut that it was roughly thirty minutes from here to there. 

_ Unless _ we were mounted. Really wasn’t sure why  _ that  _ tidbit sprang into my head, but maybe it was one of those gut feelings people get in fanfictions a little bit before the reason presents itself. 

_ How delightful _ . 

Wrecker nudged me. He and Tech both had been chattering relentlessly for quite a while, only recently giving me a break by squabbling with each other about  _ something.  _ Had no idea what though, I tuned out when that happened. 

Hunter and Crosshair had been lingering in the back for the majority of the downhill trek occasionally shoving at each other, and I was half tempted to go back there and ask what they were scheming. The sergeant and the sniper were both the more clever of the group. Tech was smart, but not a schemer. Or maybe he was, I only had four episodes to go off of. 

I turned my attention to Wrecker as he nudged me again. “What’s up, big fella?” I asked.

“Thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’, Squeak?”

Couldn’t really tell him of my plot to pester the more serious pair of the group, so I went with the next thing on my mind. It would be a rather abrupt change of pace, but hey, self inserts were like that. 

_ Sorry in advance for the existential crisis, my guy.  _ “If your leg get cut off, would it hurt?” 

Wrecker‘s head jerked in surprise. “Duh!”

“How though?”

“Your leg got cut off!” Wrecker repeated. 

“Where you gonna feel the pain?”

“In your leg-” Wrecker trailed off.

“Exactly bruh!” I pointed out. “How you gonna feel the pain in your leg-”

“If your leg is gone!” Wrecker gasped in unison with me. 

“You are both wrong!” Tech exclaimed, annoyed. 

“Where would you feel the pain though?” Wrecker asked. 

“That’s the thing, there ain’t no pain. Once your leg gone, the pain go with it!” I gestured vaguely. “Where you gonna feel the pain if your shit gone, bruh?”

“Are you concussed?” Tech demanded. “Your nerves in the portion of your leg still attached to your body would certainly suffer!”

“Nah, I like Squeaky’s answer!” Wrecker laughed, throwing an arm around me and hugging me close to him. 

I staggered, nearly knocked over, but kept my balance as I walked alongside Wrecker. “I’m delighted,” I laughed, playfully shoving at him.

“Surely you  _ know _ that the nerve endings, unless completely destroyed, would still send numerous pain signals to the cerebral cortex!” Tech protested. “You would still very much feel it! You have to know this!”

“Don’t call me Shirley,” I snickered as Wrecker and I exchanged playful punches and blocks with each other.  _ Gotta love Airplane _ . “And I know a lot of weird facts about the body. Like how we got sharpened bones in our mouth to bite with and we lick our skeleton.”

“They are  _ not  _ bone!” an exasperated Tech corrected. “Bones consist of living tissue while teeth are primarily dentin and enamel!” 

“Wait, bones are alive?” Wrecker asked, halting as he jabbed towards my shoulder. 

“Ya,” I replied before Tech could, swatting Wrecker’s hand down. “Your old bone cells are eaten by your new bone cells. Your skeleton is also wet, which isn’t exactly to do with the livin’ part but it’s a fun fact!”

“It is  _ not  _ a fun fact!” Wrecker yelped, scrubbing at his armor in panic. “I don’t like thinkin’ that my skeleton is wet!”

“If I gotta live with that burden of knowledge, so do you!” I laughed. “Like the fact our blood isn’t liquid, it’s a specialized tissue.”

“Stop!”

Tech rolled his eyes at Wrecker’s horror. “Honestly I have tried to explain to you many times-”

“Don’t start!” Wrecker protested, rushing ahead with his hands over his ears on his helmet. 

Wheezing at his panicked reaction, I grinned at Tech. “I  _ never _ assumed that  _ Wrecker _ would be this squeamish about this.”

“Did you say that  _ just _ to freak him out?” Tech exclaimed, but he looked to be grinning. 

“Why else learn disturbin’ facts if not to scare people for life?” I laughed. 

“That is a fair reason I suppose!” Tech agreed. 

I made to reply but a startled yell from Wrecker jerked my attention forward. The man’s legs disappeared from sight over the hill, leaves crunched rapidly, then a tree shook as Wrecker presumably slammed into it. 

_ Oh no _ . 

Hurrying to the rise in the trail, I looked down the hill. 

Wrecker lay with his back and shoulders against the ground by his legs up against the tree trunk in classic cartoon-style fashion. A loud groan emitted from the downed man. 

Hunter came up beside me. “Wrecker?” he called. 

Another groan. 

I slid down the hill and crouched beside him. “Did my tumbleweed rub off on you, big fella?” 

Wrecker groaned in reply once more. 

I nodded. “I see.”

Hunter slid down beside me. “What did you tell him?” he asked me, peering at Wrecker.

“Our skelly is wet.”

There was a pause before Hunter’s helmet slowly turned towards me. “Remind me never to ask you questions again…”

“Aw, c’mon, Sarge,” I laughed, grinning at him while nudging him with an elbow. My ears twitched as his heart rate jumped. “Questions are the best way to get to know someone! I’m an open book so long as you ask the right question.”

“I’ll… keep that in mind.” 

“Ow…” Wrecker moaned, rolling to his side. His helmet turned up towards me and a dazed laugh wheezed through the speakers. “Hey, Squeaky,” he mumbled, reaching up and poking at my cheek. “Didn’t know ya had a clone too.” 

My ears flattened. “Oh bother,” I sighed as he continued to poke me. “He’s seein’ double.” 

“Shadow, take his helmet off so I can ensure he’s not concussed,” Tech sighed, kneeling by us. 

“Gotcha.” Reaching down and tugging the large helmet off, I withheld a snort of laughter at Wrecker’s loopy grin. “Hey, big guy. Tech’s gonna look you over for a concussion.”

“Can I hold your hand?” he asked, a cheesy grin on his face. 

Trying desperately not to laugh at the obvious flirtation, I replied, “If you can get yourself right side up and lean against the tree then sure.”

Hunter jerked me back as Wrecker suddenly rolled to the side and nearly sent me flying with his arm. 

Still holding Wrecker’s helmet as I slammed into Hunter’s chestplate, I grunted. “For a big guy he sure can move quick,” I remarked before staring at the armored limb around my waist.  _ Hunter, you are gonna cause  _ **_both_ ** _ of us trouble if you don’t let go  _ **_right_ ** _ now.  _ “Thanks for the save, Sarge,” I said, tugging myself free. 

“Uh, yeah. Right.”

_ Nice stutter _ . As I sat down beside Wrecker, the demolition expert quickly wrapped both arms around me and pulled me close to him. Wheezing slightly at the pressure of those strong arms, I cleared my throat. “I said my  _ hand _ , Scruffy.”

A large hand curled around mine. 

I shot a look at Hunter and mouthed ‘Help me’. 

“Wrecker, she’s not a cuddler, remember?” 

“Squeaky said she does too like hugs and cuddles,” Wrecker mumbled, holding me tighter. 

I then realized I had another problem that could get troublesome soon. “Wreck, I’ll come back, but you gotta let me up for a few minutes.”

“Why?” he whined.

“I gotta piss.” 

Tech grimaced. “Oh you say that too?”

“Lived with sailors for two weeks and grew up with guys. I’m not delicate,” I snickered. 

“Clearly,” he mumbled. 

“You’ll come back, Squeaky?”

“Yeah, big guy. You’re stuck with me for a while.”

“You should stay with us,” he said, releasing me. “After the mission.”

I just laughed uncertainly, knowing full well I’d probably never see these guys again after the mission ended. Leaving my pack with them, avoiding their gazes, I paused before shifting down into a tacrumel. 

“Why?” was Hunter’s only word as he gestured to my form. 

“Long story short, I don’t have a handy tool to help me piss in the woods,” I retorted, hopping off into the underbrush. When I came back Tech was shaking his head. 

“No concussion, but he clearly cannot walk steadily.”

I shifted back into the Beta form I had been in. “Break time?” 

“Wouldn’t hurt,” Hunter remarked, tugging off his helmet. 

“Does it tire you or hurt when you shift?” Tech asked, tilting his head. 

“Nah, unless I do it a bunch of times rapidly.”

“How fast can you shift?” the nerd continued, typing at his vambrace. 

“Pretty quick. I can shift midair in a jump if I have enough adrenaline in my system,” I replied, settling down beside Wrecker again after grabbing my pack. 

“Hey, Squeaky,” he mumbled, patting me on the head before pulling me in close again. 

“Hey, Scruff,” I snorted, wiggling into a more comfortable position. I glanced up at Crosshair as he sat in the fork of a tree inspecting his rifle before digging a water bottle out of my pack. “Water anyone?”

“I’ll take some,” Hunter said, helmet now resting beside him. 

“We do need to stay hydrated,” Tech chirped. 

Tossing some bottles to them both, I looked back up at Crosshair and held one up. “Twiggs?”

He glanced at me and shook his head. 

Shrugging, I offered it to Wrecker. 

“Nah,” he said, still looking half-dazed. 

“Mine, then.” I took a drink then smacked the bottle to my forehead and squinted at the contents. “Bruh… this shit see-through. Why we drink this?”

“We need it to function?” Tech asked. “Without it our cells risk becoming hypertonic and our blood could congeal?” 

“Then why we ain’t see through?”

Tech frowned. “Our bodies on average are approximately eighty percent water. Not nearly enough to allow light to totally pass through as with a hundred percent pure water.”

“Then shouldn't we be translucent?” 

Tech gave me an ‘Are you kidding’ face. “Shadow, you need to lie down,” he began, moving to my side to supposedly help me lie back against Wrecker’s side. 

I swatted him away. “ _ Nyet _ !  _ Nein _ ! Git! Begone!” 

“Shadow-”

I bared my teeth in a hiss. 

“Hunter! Tell her she needs to rest!” Tech whined. 

“Ice, you  _ are  _ acting funny,” Hunter said, looking me up and down. 

“Nah. This just happens when I’m hyper.” I spread my arms wide. “Behold my crack-head energy!” 

“Are you… always like this?” Tech asked. 

“When I’m comfortable around people, yep!”

“Touchin’,” Crosshair grumbled, rolling his eyes. 

“Why’s water wet?” Wrecker slurred, poking at my bottle. 

“Water’s not wet!” I yelled. “And imma tell you why.”

“Er, Shadow are you ok?” Hunter asked, sounding like he was only partially joking. 

“To say that something is wet implies that the water on the surface of that something may be…  _ removed _ . For example you get caught outside in the rain you say aw, my hair got wet, now I gotta get it re-did. Aw, my shoes got wet, now I gotta let ‘em sit outside and dry. You don’t say that the ocean gets wet. It’s just water. Water is  _ water _ .”

“Uh huh,” Hunter said slowly. 

“Fire, right? It burns things, right? But it’s not in and of itself burned, right? Ok?”

“She’s lost it,” Crosshair groaned. 

“The word  _ wet _ is only supposed to be used when water gets on something. For example, if you splash water droplets on a mirror you’d say that mirror is wet. But if it were somehow possible to sprinkle water droplets on top of water then that water would be wet!”

“Thought Wrecker was the one who hit his head,” Crosshair grumbled. 

“Oh, come on,  _ Ram’ser _ .” 

Crosshair stiffened, toothpick falling from his mouth. “What did you call me?” 

_ Oooo someone’s caught off guard _ . “Sniper in Mando’a.”

“You know  _ Mando’a _ ?” Wrecker exclaimed. “Bilingual Squeaky! I like it!”

I tried not to snort. “Only a little. My pronunciation is gonna be horrible, but here ya go!” Gathering the phrases I knew from memory, I took a deep breath and listed them off. 

“ _ Ad’ika, cyar’ika, prudii, talyc, haar’chaak, verd, vod, kaysh mirsh solus, di’kut, and copaani mirshmure’cye, vod _ .”

Crosshair was the first to speak. “Your pronunciation was shit.”

I jerked my head towards him. “Boy I just said… you know what, fuck you  _ and _ the horse you rode in on!”

“Will you respond to  _ Prudii _ ? Since it’s technically your name?” Tech asked. 

“I may, I may not. Most likely no just ‘cause I’m not used to it.” 

Thunder tumbled overhead. 

My ears flattened. “Shite. Time to get moving again. I ain’t gettin’ wet for the second time today.”

“Can you not go up and check the proximity of the storm? Trevor said you could shift into a flying creature,” Tech asked. 

“Dragon!” Wrecker said with a grin.

“Dragon is subjective,” Tech said, rolling his eyes.

_ Close enough _ . “Unlike Trev I ain’t lightning proof,” I snorted, grabbing my pack. “Gimme the bottles, I’ll shove ‘em back in here. I can mark initials or are y’all the type where you don’t care because it’s  _ literally _ the same DNA?”

“Don’t care,” Hunter answered, tossing me his. 

“Into the abyss they go, then,” I replied, stuffing them into my pack. 

“Didn’t you have your rifle in there?” Hunter asked. 

“Two, actually. They float alone in the void until I need ‘em.”

“But how does your pack  _ work _ ?” Tech asked. 

“Dunno… magic? Maybe? I don’t question it, I just run with it. It’s what’s best.” I hefted the pack onto my shoulder and looked overhead. “Lookin’ at an hour maybe, if I had to guess.”

“We need to up our pace then,” Hunter said, slipping his helmet on. “How long until we reach the farm?”

“About thirty minutes on foot. But ya know…” The tidbit from earlier flashed in my head and I grinned. “I think I may have an idea.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Be sure to comment if you did! 
> 
> Poll links (gotta copy/paste)!   
> https://shadow-hyder.tumblr.com/post/634947517644210176/adventures-of-an-idiot-and-the-idiot-is-me-polls  
> https://shadowsstorystuff.tumblr.com/post/635545229528907776/httpsstrawpollcomy2wdd29ox-i-made-another
> 
> Also, I really recommend checking my tumblr!   
> I recently posted a helmet design for Shadow (my new profile pic) and also just posted a sneak peek at "Fallen, Not Forgotten" aka Saving Echo!


	15. Ch. 15 In For A Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi ho, Silver!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before karate, I was on my school equestrian team (English saddle for any who care to know) for four years. Before that I occasionally rode off and on from when I was about two 1/2 in the western saddle, but I didn't really show. Anyways, I am and will always be an Equestrian. I adore horses and they honestly have the biggest personalities it isn't even funny. No, it is. I actually taught a horse to shake its hoof like a dog shakes its paw, the only issue is he learned he could do this to get things he wanted. So he tried to cheat the system. No Suds, that's illegal.  
> I've done soccer, swim team, equestrian, and karate. Equestrian was easily the most challenging yet rewarding. Certainly toughened you up. 
> 
> ANYWAYS  
> Really hope you enjoy the chapter! :D  
> Someone on a discord chat more or less (in front of the entire server) called me childish because I dare to think of Crosshair as a three dimensional character with deeper motives. They didn't call my name specifically, but considering I'm one of the only people who call him Twiggs McGee (in fact I gave him that name), its a safe bet that was a shot at me.  
> So....  
> The next two chapters shall have a lot of Twiggy! Especially the next one! :D  
> Because we stan Twiggs in this house. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Uh… Ice?”

“Yeah?” I chirped, trotting down the trail with the Bad Batch jogging behind me.

Hunter, closest to me, cleared his throat as he pushed a pine bough out of his way. “Care to fill us in on this idea of yours?”

I flashed him a grin full of teeth. “You’ll see!” 

“Don’t like that look,” he muttered. 

I rolled my eyes as I hopped over a log. “I can’t be worse than Wrecker’s maniacal grin.”

“Aw, c’mon, Squeaky!” the demolition expert laughed. “I know you love my grins!” 

_ Facts right there, Scruffy _ . 

Ignoring Wrecker, Hunter retorted, “His grin is usually followed by mass destruction or me getting thrown.”

“Oh, quit yer belly achin’, Sarge,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Where’s that hundred percent success rate spirit at?”

“Cautiously suspended until I know what scheme you have planned.”

“Scheme, huh? Well, Shaggy.” I grinned as I saw the outer fencing of a pasture. “You’re definitely in for a  _ ride _ .”

Hunter’s voice turned sharp. “Ice, you  _ better _ not be suggesting we hijack some animals and ride them.”

_ Boo, you’re no fun _ . “Fine, your ass can walk in the rain,” I snorted, hopping the fence. 

“Unless these creatures are very powerful, Wrecker will need to walk anyways,” Tech said, provoking an offended “Hey!” from the tall man. 

“It’s Hillguides,” I said. “Those big things in the barn. They can carry Wrecker. If not I got a solution for that too.”

_ But I  _ **_sincerely_ ** _ hope it doesn’t come to that.  _

“Whatcha got in mind, Squeaky?” Wrecker called.

_ Oh nothing, just shifting and carrying you myself… _ “I’ll tell you if and when my plan falls through.”

“You do have a backup plan, then,” Hunter said. 

“My main plan is barely a vague amalgamation of one anyways, so I’m open to any suggestions should this go pear-shaped,” I said over my shoulder, moving faster without the undergrowth hindering my progress. 

“You don’t have an actual plan?” Tech exclaimed. 

“I said I had a vague amalgamation of one!” I defended. “So I have  _ part _ of a plan!” 

“How much?” Hunter asked. 

“Dunno. Twelve percent.”

“ _ Twelve percent _ ?” Tech squeaked. 

“Better than eleven percent!” 

“It is not! That is practically a one in ten chance a plan will succeed!” Tech protested, jogging to my side. 

“Never tell me the odds, Techie!” Emerging from the trees, I grinned at the herd of Hillguides munching on grass at the foot of the hill. Perfect. 

“That… could work,” Hunter said slowly, stopping beside me. 

“Ye of little faith,” I snorted, rolling my eyes. 

Hunter hesitated then shoved my shoulder. “I have yet to see what craziness you can get up to, Ice.” 

“Oh  _ I’m  _ the crazy one now?” I retorted, rolling my eyes again with a grin. 

“You certainly haven’t proven yourself sane.”

“Get a room,” Crosshair grumbled. 

“I will delete your kneecaps,” I said cheerily. 

The largest of the herd had already raised its head, looking my way with ears pricked. A low knicker drifted over the field as the Hillguide swished its tail and trotted over. 

Flashing another grin at Hunter, I laughed and punched his shoulder. “Time to cowboy up, Sarge.”

The large Hillguide slowed to a walk before asking, “ _ Shadow Stalker?” _

Well that was… new information. How the hell was a Kelusia species here? And wait…  _ Shadow Stalker _ ? 

_ What kinda Warrior Cats nonsense…? _

_ You literally made Alphians give themselves code names based on the exact same system. Sea Hawk, Stoney Killer, Blue Flame, Calico Whirlwind, hell your own persona is Icy Shadow! _

_ This isn’t about me.  _

_ It  _ **_literally_ ** _ is. _

“Hey...” The name Whispering Wind flashed through my mind. “Whispering Wind.” 

“ _ What brings you on the side of the mountain to the Cove _ ?” he asked, eyeing the Bad Batch before turning his attention back to me. 

“Got shanghaied by some space marines,” I explained, jerking a thumb back towards the men. 

“ _ Do I need to charge or kick them _ ?”

“No, we’re chill,” I said with a shake of my head.  _ Well, most of us. Not entirely sure where I stand with Twiggs yet. After that comment he’s on thin ice. Hunter  _ **_hardly_ ** _ likes me that way. The entire bunch pushes and shoves each other like a bunch of jocks, especially Hunter and Wrecker. _

“Can you…  _ understand _ that creature?” Tech asked in surprise. 

“Ya.” I barely caught my balance as Whispering Wind nudged me with his nose and almost sent me flying into Wrecker. “Alphians understand Kelusian critters,” I continued, reaching up and scratching between his ear and the base of his antler.

“Fascinating! Do you automatically translate what you hear or is it like studying another language?” 

“Magic is involved thanks to the Shapeshifter blood so it’s an automatic thing,” I replied before looking back at Whispering Wind. “Hey so uh… got a favor to ask.”

“ _ You want us to carry you to the barn _ .”

“If it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

“ _ No, it was about time to head home anyways _ ,” Whispering Wind replied before looking back over his shoulder and calling to the herd, “ _ We have some barebackers. _ ”

The herd lifted their heads, but only three trotted over to us.

Uh oh.

Whispering Wind looked back at me. “ _ Only four of us are used to carryin’ riders without saddles _ .”

I frowned. Ok, that was a bit of an issue… “Can one of ya carry double?”

“Wait what?” Hunter asked, stepping forward. 

“ _ Rising Moon can _ ,” Whistling Wind replied, flicking his ears towards the third largest Hillguide. 

“ _ I can carry the skulled one and this thin one _ ,” Rising Moon said, approaching Crosshair to sniff his rifle. 

“ _ Rumbling Thunder can carry the large fella _ ,” Whistling Wind added. “ _ I’ll carry you _ .  _ Wayward Hunter can carry the small one _ .”

“Shadow, could you please translate for me?” Tech asked as he circled around Whispering Wind making notes on his vambrace. 

“You’re on the shorter Hillguide Wayward Hunter, I’m on Whistling Wind here, Wrecker gets the big one Rumbling Thunder, and Hunter, you and Cross are sharin’ Risin’ Moon.”

“ _ Sharin’ _ ?” Crosshair demanded, trying to stop Rising Moon from nibbling on his rifle. “Get!”

“Only four are used to carryin’ people,” I replied, a small grin tugging the corner of my mouth as Rising Moon showed no fear of Crosshair’s waving hand and continued to nudge the rifle.

Crosshair twisted away and kept his front towards Rising Moon. “Why don’t  _ you  _ share?” he hissed in my direction. 

I grabbed my tail and lifted it. “Because Tech ain’t sittin’ on this.”

“Ride behind him.” He swatted at Rising Moon again. “Listen, you overgrown deer-”

“I don’t ride second saddle to anyone,” I interrupted. “Besides, it’s uncomfortable to hold on to someone smaller than you in front, and there are only two people more than an inch taller than me here.”

_ Fill in the blanks, Twiggs. I ain’t holding onto your noodly self at high speed with a lot of friction. I may tolerate you at this point in time, but that is  _ **_way_ ** _ closer than I want to be to you.  _

A rumble of thunder rolled over the hills, reminding me we were racing nature. 

“You two shared the bed last night,” I snorted as Whistling Wind knelt down for me. “You can share a mount today.” Swinging my right leg over, I settled myself in a comfortable position and patted Whistling Wind’s strong neck. “Alright, I’m settled.” Hanging on as he got back to his feet, I looked down at the boys. They looked much smaller from this height. “C’mon! Mount up, time to ride!” I said, nudging with my thighs and heels to turn Whistling Wind towards the farmstead. 

Wrecker, who had been happily stroking the nose of his mount, looked eagerly at me as Rumbling Thunder knelt down. “Squeak, can they understand us?” 

Rumbling Thunder snorted and nodded. 

“Aw sweet!” Wrecker exclaimed. “Thanks, fella!” Awkwardly getting atop Rumbling Thunder’s back, he looked over at me again as the Hillguide stood up. “Hey, Squeak, how you look so relaxed sittin’ like that?”

“Four years of competitive ridin’ and off and on ridin’ experience since I was two and a half years old,” I chuckled, watching with amusement as he shifted in an effort to match my posture. “It’s sticks with ya.”

“You competed?” Hunter asked, looking me up and down. 

“Yep! Won a lot of pretty blue ribbons in jumpin’ crossrails and two foot jumps. I’ll tell you what, you had to play mental gymnastics to memorize the course.”

“You  _ willingly _ jumped these creatures?” Tech asked. 

“There’s a reason Equestrians are some of the craziest athletes out there. We control a one ton animal with four fingers and our thighs, never underestimate us. In this case I’ve only got my thighs. Which is why they’re so strong.” I thought for a moment. “Ya know, between equestrian and karate I could probably crush a watermelon with these. I mean my friends asked once if I could break a watermelon with my head thanks to karate. I know I’m better off  _ not  _ tryin’ that, but I got enough dumbass energy I may attempt it.”

“I can break a melon with my head!” Wrecker announced.

“Dude really?” I exclaimed, grinning. “That’s awesome!”

“No one is breaking  _ anything  _ with their skulls,” Hunter barked, tone suggesting this wasn’t the first time he’d had to stop his teammate from mutilating fruit with his cranium.

I laughed. “Well, anyways, back to ridin’. I jumped higher than two feet when trail ridin’, then jumped an oxer a couple of times in trainin’,” I said, watching Tech quickly climb on Wayward Hunter’s back. “Man is jumpin’ fun though. Literally feels like you’re flyin’.”

“Can you jump bareback?” Tech asked as Wayward Hunter stood up.

“I  _ can _ ,” I replied, thinking over a few lessons. “Hard to do jumpin’ position with no stirrups, but I have done it.”

“Can you jump today?” 

“Eh, dunno if Whispering Wind is up for that.”

“ _ I’ll manage one or two if you want to show off, Shadow Stalker _ .”

My grin returned. “Guess I might!” 

“We don’t need you falling off and breaking your leg,” Hunter reminded me as he walked over to Rising Moon who was still trying to get at Crosshair’s rifle.

“I’ve been yeeted off before and ain’t broke anything yet, even when I more or less slid five feet on my face in hard dirt. We’re built different, don’t you worry about me,” I snorted. 

Hunter merely shook his head, muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like ‘ _ dini’la dala _ ’, and swung himself up after Rising Moon stopped grabbing for Crosshair’s rifle and knelt down so the commando could get on. 

_ He’d make a good cowboy _ . 

Hunter looked my way. “Ice, how long until we reach the farmstead? And Cross, get up here.” 

Trying not to snicker at Crosshair’s angry muttering as he got on behind Hunter and held on best he could around the pack, I replied, “Depends on how fast you boys are up for goin’.”

_ And me… only galloped a few times and  _ **_none_ ** _ were a voluntary decision.  _

“Fast as we need,” Hunter replied, hanging on as Rising Moon stood up and walked over beside me. 

“Good to hear,” I snorted, shifting into a good position as Tech came to my other side. “Then it may be about thirty minutes. Now, y’all better hold on tight. Loosen your hips too or you’ll bounce right off. Go with the gait, don’t fight it.”

“Shadow, what are you going to tell them?” Hunter asked from beside me.

“What every mount loves to hear, Sarge.” I grabbed a hold of the short yet thick mane. “Barn time.” 

I swore the entire herd’s heads lifted at that and with a snort from Whispering Wind they filed in behind us.

Tightening my grip as I felt my mount start forward, a large grin split my face. Felt so good to be back in the saddle. More or less. 

Feeling the power and might of the animal beneath me, moving to match his gait, blending together, becoming one entity almost. 

Unless you’ve ridden,  _ truly _ ridden, it was impossible to describe the bond that formed between a rider and a horse. Certainly a special kind of trust, even if you and the horse were strangers. A partnership in the truest sense of the word. Cliche, perhaps, but that was the truth. 

For anyone who said all you had to do was sit there, they clearly didn’t know what it meant to truly  _ ride _ . Truly blend and connect with the horse. 

Or Hillguide in this case. They were close enough to horses. 

Equestrian was definitely one of the sports that required the most teamwork. At least in football or soccer there wasn’t a worry about the ball being able to kill you if something went wrong. 

Clicking and nudging Whistling Wind faster, I noticed the other members of the herd were following alongside as we made our way towards the open field. 

_ Oh boy, here comes the writer brain… _

But it really was a beautiful sight seeing so many powerful creatures moving together like a river of muscle and fur. And we hadn’t even switched gaits. The moment we broke into a canter or even gallop I knew the rolling plains would rumble with the thunder of hooves. 

“You boys ready?” I asked, taking a deep breath and swallowing down the adrenaline pulsing through my veins. 

“Ready when you are, Ice,” Hunter said, fingers tightening in the mane as Wrecker laughed and Crosshair cursed.

I looked out over the broad and empty expanse of rolling grass in front of us and grinned. “Then let’s run like the wind. Hi ho, Silver, away!” 

Hunte’s helmet turned my way slowly. “What?”

“Don’t worry about it,” I snickered, looking back across the field. “Alright, here we go.”

A kick in Whistling Wind’s flanks and the herd was off. 

~***~

Red. 

She’d gone red in the face when he mentioned her doubling up with one of them. 

Embarrassed? 

Hardly. 

Agitated was closer. 

Wasn’t as if he needed her to spell it out for him when she mentioned there were only two people taller than her. 

And Wrecker was  _ definitely _ out. He needed a mount to himself. 

Crosshair would have been the only real option. 

He expected that response from her. That obvious discomfort at even the  _ thought _ of being close to him. 

What Crosshair had  _ not _ expected was the sharp stab in his chest. 

Did she really hate him that badly?

_ Why shouldn’t she, after how you treated her earlier? After she saved your life? You really think she’ll forgive you just like that? She’s only being nice to keep tension down. She’s still angry at you. _

He was well aware of that. Hells, he  _ deserved  _ that. Deserved to have Shadow angry at him. Deserved her scorn. Her hate.

Yet… after her episode atop the mountain she’d actually  _ reached out _ to him. Granted, all she’d done was tap his damn hand after all he’d done was tell Tech to leave her alone. But she’d still  _ thanked him _ . 

The amount of warmth that tiny gesture had filled him with was irritating to say the least, especially since it lingered whenever he thought of the moment. 

His eyes shifted towards the Alphian woman riding to his right, squinting at her as if that would help him unravel the mystery that surrounded her.

It was not as if she was hard to read, for she was  _ extremely  _ animated and was straightforward with her thoughts and opinions. 

But Shadow  _ herself _ …

Sharp tongued and headstrong, she nevertheless was… 

Kind. Caring. 

Not in an outright, obvious way, of course, but little gestures and smiles. The occasional kind word. A gentle touch here and there. 

Hidden more often than not, especially when she knew he was near, but he couldn’t blame her. 

Afterall, what happened the moment she showed a feasible weakness to them while he was in earshot? 

He went after her. 

Every time, without fail, Crosshair attacked her. Took a verbal knife, drove it right into the chink in her armor, and twisted it. Pushed it deeper, searching for the thing that would finally make her snap.

He couldn’t help it. It was a skill he often used to exploit enemies or keep people at a distance. It worked without fail every time. He found out what made people tick and they stayed away from him. 

But… he didn’t want to keep  _ Shadow _ at a distance. 

The revelation disturbed him. 

Not good. 

Not good, not good, not  _ good _ . 

She was getting to him already. 

She should  _ hate _ him! Hate him like everyone else who met him!

Yet even after he’d attacked her relentlessly time and time again, she’d still let weakness show. 

No, not weakness. Shadow was anything  _ but _ weak. She wasn’t showing weakness.

She showed  _ vulnerability _ . 

Crosshair noticed the way her guard dropped around Tech, Wrecker, and even Hunter. The way she grew playful, laidback, and even outright friendly. He envied the ease at which the others spoke and interacted with her, but he knew why that was. 

All of his brothers had shown her vulnerability in return. They’d opened up to her as she opened up to them. Not excessively, but enough to show they didn’t mind her being around them. 

He wished he could do the same.

But his pride, his  _ damn pride _ , wouldn’t let him. 

All he wanted was to speak to her without it turning into a verbal firefight. Speak to her without it ending in yelling. 

Was that even possible?

_ She drops her guard if the other person does. Maybe that could be a start?  _

It’d be hard,  _ agonizingly _ hard, but he wanted to try anyway. 

After all… it was better than nothing. 

~***~

_ Fuck yeah! _

Grin stretching from ear to ear as we rode at a canter across the hills, I realized I’d forgotten just how much  _ fun _ riding was. The wind in your face, ground a blur beneath you, the feeling of being  _ free _ …

Damn I needed to do this more often. 

We had yet to break into a gallop, but Whispering Wind said there were only a few more hills until we hit the wide flat expanse. Then we’d really be flying. 

Up ahead I saw a small stand of trees and a fallen log on the outskirts. Perfect. 

Whispering Wind must have spotted it too, for he asked, “ _ Jump?”  _

“Let’s go!” I yelled, grin turning crazed as I nudged him faster. 

“Shadow, the hells are you doing?” Hunter shouted. 

Ignoring him as I drew closer to the fallen log, I tried to steady my breathing and keep in tune with Whispering Wind’s pace as the Hillguide’s ears shifted forward. 

Everything else faded away as I focused in on the target. 

Fingering tightening in the mane. 

Counting the strides. 

Gauging the jump.

Breathing in rhythm. 

_ One. _

_ Two.  _

_ Three. _

_ Four. _

**_Jump_ ** _! _

Lifting myself off his back into jumping position, parallel to his body, I held on tight as we sailed over the jump. 

Weightless. You really felt weightless as you flew over a jump, especially a bigger one. 

The only issue was the landing. 

Do it wrong… well it was self critiquing. 

My landing was luckily pretty smooth and I didn’t end up with a bruised tailbone or pelvis. I was already gonna be walking like a cowboy after this anyways, I didn’t need to deal with any bruises. 

Or… wait wouldn’t I have a bruised tail? Instead of tail bone?

I really needed to remember my anatomy wasn’t the same. 

Steering Whispering Wind back towards the others as we all continued to canter, I laughed, “Ta da!”

“Nice jump, Squeaky!” Wrecker exclaimed. 

“Thanks, Wrecker!” 

“Do that again!” 

“Whatcha say, Whispering Wind?”

“ _ See one up ahead _ !” 

Yelling in excitement, I readied myself for the next jump. This one was big, the tree a fallen oak, but I could do this. 

_ I got this. I can do this. I got this! _

Heart pounding in rhythm with Whispering Wind’s hooves against the grassy earth, adrenaline pulsed through me. 

_ Measure the distance.  _

_ Tighten your grip.  _

_ Time the jump.  _

_ One.  _

_ Two. _

_ Three.  _

_ Four. _

**_Up!_ **

Pushing myself up in jumping position once more, the landing was a little rougher than the first but considering that log had to be around three feet high and just as thick, that went pretty well. 

“Show off,” Hunter snorted as I rejoined the main group. 

“Rich comin’ from you, Sarge,” I snickered as we cantered up and crested the final hill, coming to a stop. 

“Shadow, what place is the blue ribbon?” Tech asked, tapping the side of his helmet which made me wonder if he’d recorded me. 

I flashed him a grin as I kept my breath steady. “First place.”

Wrecker laughed. “I see why! You look good, Squeak!” 

Giving a mock bow, sat back up and gazed across the field. In the distance against the edge of the woods stretching to the foot of the mountain, I thought I could faintly see the farm. 

_ Well… I know someone who can see that distance _ . “Hey, Cross.” 

The sniper’s helmet turned my way. 

I inclined my head towards the farm. “What can you see?” 

His helmet remained fixed on me before he looked out over the field. “Wooden barn, two stories. Another two story wooden buildin’, guessin’ it’s a cabin. River in the trees. Small garden, orchard, what looks like a poultry house.” 

“Damn, that’s impressive,” I remarked, squinting at the tiny blob of dark brown. “Wish I had eyes like that, I can’t see for shit.”

“You see perfectly well in the dark,” Hunter commented. 

“That’s different,” I countered, shifting positions. I gripped with my thighs, wrapping my legs around his belly best I could and shoving my heels down. Squaring my shoulders, I called to the Bad Batch, “Ready to run?”

“Ready to go!” 

“Alrighty!” Adjusting my position one last time, I called to Whispering Wind, “Run like the wind!” 

And that’s just what we did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dini'la dala= insane woman :D
> 
> Hope y'all are ready for the next chapter, it's one of my favs and has actually been in the drafts since before OtaGS ended!
> 
> ALSO THAT TRAILER AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


	16. Ch 16 First They're Sour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross gets a reality check

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up so MASSIVE (5370 words and 18 google doc pages) that I had to break it up into two sections! Don't worry, they're both getting posted today! Merry early Christmas! It may be longer than a week for the next update, mainly because this chapter tired me out and I'll be in the hills for about a week with limited Wifi access. 
> 
> First up is through my eyes. Cracked open my soul a bit but sometimes you gotta show vulnerability to get through to someone. Crosshair is a tricky character, but I write him being so abrasive out of necessity and insecurity. His very survival required a harsh and cold outlook or he risked being cast off for being weak. I'm not to that extent, but I can relate to constantly acting tough so people don't take advantage of your softer side. Call me "edgy" but if you were bullied when you were younger you'll recognize the "rough front as a line of defense" type persona. 
> 
> Cross can be an ass, but I prefer to write an underlying reason rather than just "he edgy". Like I say in this chapter, he's not a machine. He's human. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the next two chapters! Any feedback is most welcome! 
> 
> Also, "only one bed" trope anyone?
> 
> Content Warning: Past emotional trauma

_Yeah… definitely gonna be walking like a cowboy_ , I thought as we finally came to a stop at the homestead fence. Patting Whispering Wind’s neck, I said, “Thanks for the lift! Wouldn’t have made it in near the time. I’ll see if I can’t negotiate some extra feed for y’all as payment.”

“ _Apples are always good_ ,” the stallion joked, kneeling down to let me slip from his back. 

“I’ll let Sarah know,” I chuckled as the Bad Batch also dismounted. 

“Ouch! How do you do that for fun, Squeak?” Wrecker groaned, hand going to the inside of his thigh where his muscles were no doubt sore. 

“C’mon, Scruff! That was only twenty minutes. Some trail rides could last two hours,” I teased, nudging the demolition expert. 

“Aren’t you sore?” 

“Not yet. I will be in a few or later tonight,” I laughed as I left the herd behind and hopped the fence. “I did that as a sport for four years, that’s why my kicks were so strong even before karate and how I bruised my ex’s ribs when I first met him. Asked me to roundhouse kick him, so I did!” 

“It certainly would strengthen various muscles such as the abdominals, piriformis, psoas, quadratus lumborum, transverse abdominis, and the iliacus,” Tech remarked, slipping off Wayward Hunter’s back and jogging over. 

_How do they have latin names in this galaxy?_

I nodded at the engineer. “Aye, definitely builds muscle like you wouldn’t believe.” 

Hunter grunted as he jumped over the fence as well and stretched before coming to my side. “Alright, Ice.” He pulled his helmet off, hair spilling out. Small strands stuck to his forehead from sweat and he brushed them away. “This is the trail shelter for tonight?” 

“Aye,” I said before raising my voice. “Sarah! You around?” 

“That Shadow I hear?” a voice called from the other side of a shed before an older woman with dark weathered skin appeared around the corner. Dressed in dirt stained jeans and an older T-shirt frayed at the hems, there was no mistaking that this was the farm owner. “It is! Shadow, good to see- you have friends.” 

“Sergeant Hunter, ma’am. This is my team,” Hunter introduced, jerked a thumb back at his team as Tech and Crosshair joined us. 

“Oh, _she_ gets a ma’am and I got ‘kid’,” I snorted, earning what I took to be a playful shove from Hunter. 

“Sergeant _Hunter_?” Sarah asked, raising an eyebrow before grieving me a sly grin. “I finally get to meet the commandos you always talk about, huh?” 

I subtly motioned with my hand for her to _please_ not say anything incriminating. I had _no_ idea what I may have told her, and I really didn’t want to find out with the men standing right behind me. 

She winked at me and turned her attention to the others, who aside from Crosshair had removed their helmets. “Let’s see… Wrecker?” she asked, pointing at the large clone. 

Wrecker laughed. “That’s me! You talked about us, huh, Squeak?” he asked me, throwing an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to his side. 

I shot Sarah I good-natured glare. “Thanks for signin’ my death warrant, Sarah,” 

Wrecker scooped me up with one arm. “You know you love me, Squeaky!” 

“Squeaky?” Sarah laughed. 

“She squeaks when she steps in cold water!” 

“Put me down, you overgrown puppy!” I protested, swatting at Wrecker’s arm. As a result, the demolition expert held me tighter with a devious grin. 

Laughing again, Sarah looked to Tech. “You’re the smart one, Tech, I presume?” 

Tech straightened. “Yes, ma’am. I serve as the engineer and slicer. I can by-pass any firewall in record time.” 

“Definitely outfitted for the job!” Sarah remarked, looking over him before turning her eyes to Crosshair. “You’re the sniper she named her rifle after, Crosshair, right?”

His helmet turned towards me slightly but he merely nodded at her. 

“Not a talker,” she commented before turning back to me. “I’m guessing you need to use the barn loft for the night.”

“Yeah,” I replied, finally escaping Wrecker’s grip. “Got shanghaied for a mission.” 

“Wish you would have told me you were coming!” she said with an apologetic smile. “Would have pulled out that extra cot since the loft only has the one bed.”

_Only one bed? Wow. Really, writer?_

“Ah yes, ye old ‘only one bed’ trope. Of course,” I muttered under my breath, but judging from the look Hunter sent me he’d caught that. I quickly looked away and focused on Sarah, hoping Hunter didn’t ask about that. 

Sarah shrugged. “There’s the pullout couch, but you’ll still have to double up probably.” 

“Well… I mean I don’t mind doublin’ up with someone,” I said. 

“Don’t think the big fella will fit with you on the bed up there and leave room between you,” Sarah mused, looking him over. “One of the other three might work.”

 _Well Crosshair is_ **_definitely_ ** _out. Hunter is a_ **_really_ ** _bad idea. If he doesn’t suspect my crush that would definitely give it away._

“I don’t mind sharing if you don’t,” Tech offered. “I am not as broad-shouldered as Hunter and would give you more room to yourself.”

I flicked my ears. “Sounds good to me. I’ll bunk with Tech.”

_I mean I got a crush on the nerd too but not near to the extent of Hunter._

“Guess that’s settled,” the sergeant remarked. 

“You’re welcome to grab some fruit from the patch to eat instead of the rations you’re probably carrying,” Sarah said with a warm smile. “Was out there earlier, the strawberries are ripe. Or you can try your luck fishing. Caught a pretty big trout yesterday morning.”

 _Strawberries? This ain’t Earth… ah hell just go with it._ “I’ll go grab some, I’m hungry,” I said, glancing at the Bad Batch. “Meet y’all back here in a few.”

“Shadow, wait.” Hunter paused. “Take Crosshair with you.”

Crosshair stiffened out of the corner of my eye, echoing my own thoughts. The last time I was alone with him, I ended up neck deep in depression and he ended up neck deep in a frigid stream. This could not end well. 

Then again, he’d been quiet lately, aside from the comments just before we mounted up, and if there was no one else to egg him on maybe he’d just stay quiet. And he’d shown at least _some_ remorse after the riverside incident. 

“Aight,” I sighed and jerked my head at Crosshair. “C’mon, Twiggs.” 

“Wait, Squeak, want me to take your pack?” Wrecker asked. 

I rolled my shoulders then shrugged and slipped it off. “Thanks, big guy.”

“No problem!” he grinned, taking it from me. 

I smiled at him before splitting off from the group. I walked towards the patch and a few moments later I finally heard the soft, light footsteps of the sniper following behind me. 

_Hunter, I hope you know what you’re doing_. 

Otherwise this might end up in a screaming match again. 

Sarah’s voice faded away as we got further from her and the other three Batchers, the only sound now the whistle of the wind and this _damn fly_ which would _not_ leave me alone. Where was fly spray when you needed it?

Ears pinning in annoyance, I continued to swat at it, trying to get it to go away. I muttered, few choice words under my breath that would have probably made Neil or Hobbs proud. 

How were those idiots, anyways? Away from Wrecker and Tech’s chatter, I was free to mull over the sailors for a little bit. 

They’d probably signed onto another ship, I couldn’t see them doing anything else. Rough as hell, a desk job would _not_ suit them. Ironically, neither would a suit. They were about as refined as scrap metal, and twice as jagged around the edges. Or something like that. 

But you had to love ‘em, even if they sometimes decided to “playfully” shove you against a wall and give you bruises all down your back. Gave me an excuse to body slam someone, though, so it evened out. 

_What goes around comes around,_ I thought with a soft snort, recalling the time I yelled that while full on launching myself at Neil. 

“You’re quiet.”

 _No shit, I’m thinking and reminiceing_ . My tail bristled slightly at Crosshair’s sneer. _Just ignore him. He’s trying to get you annoyed._

But why? He’d been decently fine earlier. Why act up now?

“So mad about bein’ stuck with me you’re speechless?”

I stopped and glared at him. “Damn, you _really_ wake up and choose violence on a daily basis, don’t you?” 

He remained silent, his face hidden behind that mask. 

Fine, I’d take charge of this conversation. He wasn’t about to get the upper hand again. 

Made the mistake of letting him do that once, but not this time. 

“A, I like peace and quiet as much as the next person. B, you aren’t a conversationalist. C, even if you were, we aren’t on the best of terms. D, you clearly hate me. And E, that was uncalled for!” I exclaimed. “I’m just vibin’ and mindin’ my own business and you attack me. If you’re gonna be meaner than a sunbaked rattlesnake, piss off and go back to the others. I agreed to have you along because I _thought_ I’d have some quiet time to think. Clearly not.” I turned away and marched towards the patch, fur along my tail now bristling and ears pinned against my skull. 

_Maybe he really was just saying sorry back at the river to make me drop my guard so he could stab me later. Idiot… why did I actually think he was sorry?_

Silence stretched behind me before he called, “Wait that’s… that’s not what I meant.”

“Yes, it was,” I grumbled, shaking my head. “Just… I know you hate me but could you cool it?” 

He went silent again, which was completely fine by me. The longer he was quiet the more likely it was my blood could cool and I wouldn’t pull a Rex and knock this man on his ass. 

So much for us getting along. 

Just when I thought he’d actually…

Actually what?

Gotten a heart? 

Stupid…

Yet… 

_The problem is never the problem_. 

I groaned as the phrase flashed through my head. Really? I did _not_ need my damn psychology brain to act up right now. I wanted to stay mad at him!

_No you don’t._

No… no I didn’t.

Damn it. 

“Why _do_ you hate me anyways?” I huffed. 

Half expecting silence, surprise rippled through me when Crosshair muttered, “Don’t hate you.” 

“Coulda fooled me,” I grumbled. “Seriously, Crosshair, I’m gettin’ tired of this. That what you wanted, huh?” I turned around at faced him once more, taking a step towards the sniper. “To hear you’re wearin’ me down? Tirin’ me out? Gettin’ under my skin?”

He held his ground, but the falter in his words was unmistakable. “That’s not…” 

“Not _what_?!” I snapped, anger rising to the surface, that bitterness I always tried to keep down lest I lose my cool. Blowing up on someone never helped. If anything, it made it worse. 

But Crosshair _really_ was making it hard to keep my cool. Always trying to push me past my limit, and for what? To what end? 

I should have just brushed it off. Let his insults roll off my back. 

Forgive and forget, right?

Well I never forgot.

Funny how the second could cancel the first. 

“Not what you meant? Then what _did_ you mean? Huh? Tell me!” I continued to advance on the sniper, not caring that he took a step back. 

_Wrecker’s not here to save you this time! You can’t hide from this fuck up! Time to face the music!_

“What verbal knife do you have aimed at my chest this time? What’s your plan to tear me apart now?” My voice rose in pitch. “Damn it all to hell, Crosshair! Why can’t you be nicer!?”

“I don’t know how!” The moment the words left his mouth, Crosshair stiffened and took a step back. 

My eyes widened at the admission. 

Of course… The life of a soldier was all he knew. When would he have had the time to work on his people skills?

 _No. No he’s a grown ass_ **_adult_ ** _. He’s not some clueless middle schooler. He’s at least twenty. He should know that words could hurt people!_

“That’s no excuse,” I growled. “I’m not askin’ for perfection. I’m askin’ for _effort_ . I don’t expect you to be all buddy buddy. Hell, I actually like verbally sparrin’ with you. It’s fun, especially since you can take it and return fire. But I don’t like _fightin_ ’ with you. That’s what I have issues with. Call me names, tease me, taunt me, that’s all fine. If you _attack_ me, _then_ we have problems.” White hot rage simmered back to the surface, followed by pain. “But that's all you _ever_ do! Attack me! Try to kill me with your words! _Why_?” 

“I was created _solely_ to fight,” Crosshair snapped. “Solely to _kill_ ! The longnecks didn’t care about anythin’ other than a perfect soldier who could kill their opponents as quickly as possible. Anything less is unacceptable and a _failure_!”

The venom and _agony_ in that single word all but knocked the breath from my lungs. My anger burned away, leaving behind an empty, hollow feeling in its place.

All those years on Kamino, being told he was useless, a reject, a failure, a _mistake_ … 

Just because of something he couldn’t control. Couldn’t change. 

Just because of _who he was_. 

“But you _aren’t_ a failure, Crosshair.” I shook my head and risked a step closer, taking care to force the tension from my shoulders and unclench my fists. “I know there’s more under that armor, and not the physical one. I also know you don’t want me to see it. I know you think it’s a weakness. But it’s not.” I paused. “Even if people tell us it is.” I strengthened my voice and looked back at him. “It’s what makes us _human_ . You’re not a droid. You are _not_ a machine. That may be what they tell you you are, but what they say you are doesn’t matter. What they _think_ about you doesn’t matter. There’s only one person who can define who you are, Crosshair. _You_.”

By the time I finished, Crosshair had turned away from me, helmet fixated on the ground as he stood with his fists clenched. 

Uncertainty filled me, but I took a deep breath and reached out to lay a hand on his arm in the gap between his forearm and bicep armor. He jerked, but didn’t snatch the limb away. 

“I know it’s hard, constantly fightin’ an uphill battle that seems to go on forever,” I said softly. “I know how tirin’ it can be. Workin’ so hard to please others, to be accepted, only to give up after sufferin’ defeat after defeat after defeat because what’s the damn point anymore. But Crosshair... you’ve got to learn that not everyone is out to get you. Not everyone wishes you harm. Many might, but not everyone does.” My grip tightened. “I know I don’t.”

Crosshair didn’t say anything, helmet still angled away from me. 

I sighed and let my hand drop back to my side. “I guess I’m probably talkin’ to a brick wall here, but figured you should hear it. Take it as you will,” I said with a shrug, turning away and heading onward towards the patch.

_I just hope that at least some of that got through._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do love Cross, he just needs a smack in the face with reality sometimes.


	17. Ch 16 Part 2 Then They're Sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's something in Crosshair's chest afterall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2, told completely from Crosshair's pov! 
> 
> This was... hard. Very hard. We have little to nothing about how he thinks, and certainly nothing on a softer side. He may come across ooc here, but he's not my character. So I'm fine with that. I'm proud of what I did do!   
> He's a deeply insecure character i feel like, but is also extremely protective which can be a very bad combination
> 
> Also, I worked hard for these muscles so imma be proud of them :D
> 
> Content warning: Past emotional trauma, partial nudity (its just my shirt no worries and no it isnt smut)

He watched her leave, his mind a tumultuous sea of doubt and uncertainty. 

_ “There’s only one person who can define who you are, Crosshair.  _ **_You_ ** _.” _

Forever thankful that his helmet had hid his face during the exchange, shielding his expression, Crosshair hated how deep her words struck him. 

How could she just… pick him apart piece by piece like that? In a matter of minutes,  _ seconds _ even, she’d laid out his insecurities before him with minimal effort and challenged them. Challenged  _ him _ . Was she a damn shrink or something? 

_ “Even if people tell  _ **_us_ ** _ it is. I know it’s hard. I know how tirin’ it can be. Workin’ so hard to please others, to be accepted, only to give up after defeat after defeat after defeat because what’s the damn point. _ ”

She knew. She knew what it was like. Perhaps not to the exact degree as him, but… she knew what it was like to be the outcast and reject when you tried so hard to please others before giving up. 

Since when was Shadow  _ empathetic _ ?

Maker, he preferred it when she was calling him some weird yet creative insult. 

This was too close. 

Too personal. 

Too  _ intimate _ . 

It made matters worse she nearly hit it spot on. 

For all of his poking and prodding to discover her breaking point, he’d only found a weak spot by accident. But Shadow, with no warning or indication she was analyzing him for a gap in his armor, delivered a precise strike that hit home. 

Straight to the heart. 

_ How _ ?

Picking up a fast pace to catch up to her before she began to think she’d rattled him, Crosshair despised how unease sent bolts of electricity down his back as he got closer. 

Her ear turned back to track him, and he hoped she was listening to his footsteps and not his heart. 

Why did her words shake him this  _ badly _ ?

_ Maybe because you don't like the thought of anyone seeing past that protective shield you always have up? _

She hadn’t gotten past his barriers. She  _ hadn’t _ . 

A guess. That was all. She was just a really good guesser. That was  _ all _ . 

_ What are you afraid of?  _

He wasn’t  _ afraid _ , he was… 

If he let his guard down, she’d take advantage of it. She’d hurt him. Hurt his brothers. He had to protect them. He had to keep them all safe. 

_ But what if she isn’t out to get you? She’s friendly with them. Shows interest in Tech’s chatter. Matches Wrecker’s enthusiasm. Respects Hunter’s lead. She even gives you kindness when you hardly deserve it. Yet you still think she’s an enemy.  _

Crosshair wrestled with that as they reached a row of low lying shrubs partially weighed down with small red fruit. 

What if she didn’t try to hurt them? What if she truly,  _ genuinely _ , cared about their wellbeing? 

His resolution from the start of the run across the fields came back to him. But how was he supposed to talk to her after what’d just happened? How could he face her?

He truly hadn’t meant to be mean. He just…

He didn’t know what to say. How to say it. 

“ _ I’m not askin’ for perfection. _ ” 

But he wanted to  _ try _ . 

Suddenly Shadow stopped and turned to face him. The tip of her tail twitched, a movement Crosshair knew to be a sign of agitation, as she looked him up and down. She extended her hand towards him. “Let’s make a deal.”

_ What’s her game? _ “Deal?”

She nodded. “First… take off that helmet.”

He immediately stiffened. “Why?”

“Because I want to talk to  _ you _ , not that mask.”

He hesitated, a hurricane of uncertainty and doubt raging within him, before slowly reaching up and slipping off the helmet after steeling his face. 

Shadow’s eyes searched his face before she extended her hand further. “Truce.”

“Truce?” he echoed, eyeing her with suspicion. 

“Yeah. Sparrin’ and teasin’ are fine, but no more fightin’.” 

He should be the one making the deal. He was the one who caused most of the fights…

_ She knows that. She’s giving you a chance to reconcile without putting the tough task on your shoulders _ . 

Shifting his helmet under his arm, Crosshair slowly reached out, mildly surprised when Shadow grabbed his forearm as opposed to his hand. As he did the same, muscle flexed under his fingers. 

Moments later he found himself almost nose to nose with Shadow as she jerked him close, her pupils narrowing to slits. 

“But let’s get somethin’ straight right here, right now.” Her voice grew soft but the sharp eyed stare sent a chill down Crosshair’s spine. “I may believe there’s more to you. I may forgive you for what you said. But if you  _ ever _ speak to me like that again, I will break your jaw. Am I clear?”

Most people he’d laugh off or antagonize further. People were amusing when they got mad and tried to threaten him. Did they really think they scared him? 

Yet the quiet intensity and warning in Shadow’s eyes, coupled with the tense muscle beneath his hand, made him hold his tongue. She didn’t talk just to talk. She’d carry that threat out. 

He found that out the hard way. 

Giving a quiet nod, Crosshair hoped she’d stop glaring at him like that. Granted, he knew he deserved it. But he felt lower than an ant under that icy gaze and just as vulnerable, as if he were pinned down in the field with no cover or backup and an enemy bearing down on him after he’d used his last shot.

“Then we’re chill,” Shadow replied with a twitch of her ears, voice back to normal as her fury faded and she released his arm. She huffed tiredly as she turned to walk down the row. “At least you say it to my face instead of behind my back. That’d  _ really _ piss me off.” 

Crosshair bristled at that. He attacked people, but he prefered to do it to their face. “I’m not a coward.”

“No, I’d say not. Stubborn as a mule and ornery as a mare with a burr under the saddle, but you sure as hell ain’t a coward,” she snorted. 

Crosshair wasn’t sure if she was complimenting him or downright insulting him. Not that she was wrong… 

He followed a short distance behind her, stopping as she crouched to investigate the selection of fruit hidden beneath the broad leaves. 

“Move a little to the left, Twiggs. You’re blockin’ the sun.”

Feeling as if he were treading on thin ice, he shifted and allowed the setting sun to shine down on the patch of fruit she’d been looking over. 

Her tail flicked his leg in thanks before she focused back on the plants. Crosshair watched as she pulled a berry off and took a bite. To his surprise, she closed her eyes and smiled at the presumably sweet fruit. 

Not a smirk. Not a cocky smirk.

A  _ smile _ . 

His heart jumped in his chest at the pure and joyful expression. 

Finishing it off, she looked up at him and tilted her head to the side. 

As he began to panic, thinking his face had given something away, Shadow merely said, “Well? You gonna grab some fruit or not, Twiggs?”

Forcing a snort to mask his nervousness, he crouched beside her and rested his helmet on the ground between them. A little barrier was better than none. 

Shadow suddenly sighed. “You’re welcome.”

Crosshair looked at her in confusion. “For what?”

“For pullin’ you out of the stream.” She laughed softly. “You aren’t the type to waste your words unless you mean it.”

She’d realized he was sincere in his thanks, then. Despite the urge to brush it off, Crosshair grunted in acknowledgement. 

Sorry wasn’t always in literal terms. Sometimes it was implied. That was good enough for him. 

_ She’s trying. I guess I can too. _

At least she wasn’t expecting him to completely be friendly with her. All she asked was for him to not outright attack her. 

She didn’t expect him to change. 

That small fact made all the difference. 

Taking care that the small smile didn’t manifest and betray him to the woman next to him, he set to work finding a suitable fruit. 

Setting his sights on a particularly large berry paler in color, he tugged it off the stem with a faint  _ snap _ . 

Shadow’s eyes narrowed at the fruit in his hand. "Wouldn't eat that if I were you."

"Why not?" the sniper grumbled despite the genuine curiosity and even unease trickling down his spine. He hadn’t grabbed the wrong one had he? Damn it, he needed to stay put together around her! He had to seem like he knew what he was doing! Otherwise she’d…

She’d what?

Attack him?

Like he did to her?

"Cause you're gonna have a more sour expression than you already do. That thing ain’t ripe." 

Her words, while accented with a slight laugh, held no malice. Interesting… 

She shuffled down the row, looking for something as her tail swished side to side. With the setting sun on it, the blend of orange, black, and red seemed even more vibrant. Despite the burrs, leaves, and bits of moss tangled in the thick fur, it still looked unbelievably soft.

A triumphant smirk revealed her teeth, an odd trait that must have been the result of her animal genes. She picked a strawberry off the bush, the fruit a red so deep it looked crimson. 

_ Must be one of the good ones _ . 

To his surprise, she offered it to him. "The darker, the better." 

Crosshair narrowed his eyes at her. "You trying to poison me or somethin’?" 

_ She has to be. There’s a catch. There’s  _ **_always_ ** _ a catch to kindness _ . 

She rolled her eyes. "You don't want it, I'll eat it." 

He frowned and snatched it out of her hand. "No, give me that." Glaring at the fruit for a moment, he finally took a bite out of it. 

His eyes widened at the warm, sweet taste.  _ Maker... _

Shadow laughed, but once again it held no hatred. 

It was… nice to listen to. 

"Now, what’d I tell you?" she teased, lightly smacking his arm with the back of her hand. 

"It... is good," he begrudgingly admitted. 

"You sound like you're choking."

His eyes narrowed in a glare as he fought to keep a smile down. 

Seeing her snarky but not hostile, especially towards him… 

The warmth from before sparked once more in his chest, and he realized that the spark was not one that would be easy to snuff out. 

This realization birthed dread… 

And happiness. 

Shadow’s grin turned devious. "You can say thank you, you know. I won't tell.”

Mostly dread. 

He lightly cuffed her over the ear. “Shut up, brat.”

Test the waters. 

Would she tolerate contact from him?

Would she snarl?

Hiss?

Glare?

Bite?

Scratch?

Prove he was right in that she would never want him close?

Or would she be playful? Like she had with Hunter?

Crosshair knew that feeling spreading through him when Shadow was close to Hunter, and that was already a sign things were slipping out of his control. 

Not  _ good _ . 

Shadow’s brow furrowed as her ears twitched, and Crosshair grew concerned he’d stepped too far. 

Not worried. 

Concerned.

He wasn’t worried about her opinion of him. 

Then she snorted and shoved his chest. “Make me, Twiggs.”

She was fine. 

He rolled his eyes and finished off the berry she’d given him as she grabbed another one for herself.

“Alrighty, guess we should gather the vittles and get back. Gotta find something to put them in...” Her eyes went to his helmet.

Crosshair grabbed it off the ground. “You aren’t messin’ up my helmet with those berries,” he warned, jabbing a finger at her. 

“First, they’re not berries. Misleadin’ name, I know.”

_ She’s definitely smarter than she lets on at first. Not as much as Four Eyes but she’s no idiot _ .  _ She’s definitely got some knowledge in that thick skull of hers. _

At least she proved clever as well as booksmart. 

“Secondly,” she continued. “Could use my shirt, but then you’d see me shirtless.”

How could she say that to nonchalantly? 

His next words slipped out. 

“Oh, really?”

What was he doing, what was he  _ doing, _ what was he  **_doing_ ** ?

“Now I’m curious, sweetheart.”

_ What are you doing?! Stop before you dig this hole any deeper!  _

“I’ll bet.” Her ears twitched as she contemplated, a frown digging into the corners of her mouth as she stared down at her shirt. “Fuck it.”

Frozen to the spot, Crosshair stared as she yanked the shirt over her head, revealing a black sports bra and toned muscle beneath, and threw it into his helmet. 

“There,” she stated. “For your precious helmet.”

_ What in the  _ **_Nine Corellian Hells_ ** _ have you done?! _

“Didn’t… didn’t think you’d actually-”

Really?! He’d seen bare skin before. Their damn ship was full of posters! 

_ Why _ was he so karking flustered?!

Shadow rolled her eyes, but it didn’t mask the red creeping across her cheeks. “Don’t make a big deal outta nothin’.”

_ This is hardly  _ **_nothing_ ** _.  _

“It’s just skin, abs, and scars.”

Crosshair could see that. See that very well. 

He’d seen her parkour across obstacles with no issue. He’d grappled with her. He’d felt first hand how strong she was, not even counting her size. He knew she had muscles, but seeing the toned and scarred skin...

_ Maker, you’re pathetic! Get a grip! _

“Now fix yo damn bucket,” Shadow finished, pointing to the helmet. 

Trying to avoid outright staring, he fiddled with the shirt and helmet. He wished he hadn’t said anything. Not that Shadow wasn’t nice to look at but…

_ Focus! What’s the matter with you? _

“Fixed it,” he announced after he’d tucked the shirt in. 

“Good,” Shadow remarked after munching on another berry. “Go for the darker berries. You can also tell they’re ripe if they come off the stem easily.”

He nodded and tried to follow her instructions, hoping he didn’t mess it up again. But Shadow remained quiet, and they worked in silence. At first uneasy, Crosshair gradually relaxed, even if he couldn’t help but glance constantly at the two scars across her stomach and the obvious slugthrower wound that looked to have entered through the front of her chest and exited out the back. 

How had she survived that? Or was Tech’s theory true and this woman’s species could revive after death? 

Crosshair wanted to ask, curiosity demanded he did, but he knew it was too early to ask about it. Besides, the silence between them had become almost comfortable and he didn’t want to mess that up. 

Well, silence apart from Shadow’s faint humming. It sounded upbeat and catchy, whatever the melody was. Shadow certainly seemed to think so, tail swishing to the tune as she hummed. 

She picked a dark and what looked to be an overly ripe strawberry up and inspected it thoughtfully. A faint grin lifted the corner of her mouth and Crosshair got a feeling he was in danger. “Ya know,” she said slowly, letting the strawberry roll into her palm. “There’s one thing I gotta do for you bein’ an ass.”

Crosshair tensed. He could hear no anger in her voice, but the sly look in her eyes, so similar to his batchmate’s, unnerved him. “What-”

Her hand snapped closed before quickly sliding across his face, leaving a red trail of crushed fruit across his cheek, mouth, and chin. 

Recoiling from the woman in shock, his look of surprise quickly turned to agitation as he took in her cocky grin. “You little-”

“What, Cross? Now you’re a bit sweeter than you were!” she laughed before wheezing. 

_ So this is what it’s like to be on the receiving end of her playfulness.  _ “Makes people sweeter, does it?” Wiping it off his own face, he left a streak across her cheek and nose. 

Her eyes widened, the bright blue contrasting with the dark red fruit. Crosshair began to regret his action when she laughed and raised her hands. “Alright, I deserved that one.” She went back to picking the berries, or not-berries. “C’mon, let’s get these gathered up so we can meet back with the others before Hunter sends Wrecker after us or somethin’.”

Stiffening at the thought of his batchmate retrieving them, Crosshair nodded and worked alongside her. Confident she couldn’t see him, he allowed a smile to briefly slip through as he glanced at her.

Maybe this mission wouldn’t be so horrible after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter (16) isn't an automatic jump to tightnit friendship between Shadow and Cross, but its a BIG turning point. Still treading carefully around each other, they've reached an understanding. Of course, Cross is well aware there a bigger threat for him looming. 
> 
> Slowburn CrossxShadow anyone?


	18. Ch. 17 Spice Trips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunter has another existential crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... I had another case of the zoomies. Behold another monster chapter of 5271 words because I have no self control when I get into a writing vein. Especially when I get to add fantastical elements. I should have broken it into two, but oh well. 
> 
> Off to a Great Start drew people in with its craziness, so I decided to bring that back! Or Maxolyn decided to. He was SUPPOSED to wait until the Vault scene but he wanted to introduce himself earlier. He's a lovely character, basically Santa's crackheaded sailor cousin. He sweet tho, if not crazy. 
> 
> But we finally get some more information on Realm Walkers! There's a reason I called this chapter "Spice Trips". At least Sarah is helpful! I love her so much
> 
> Would say more, but honestly I want to throw you into the deep end and let you figure it out for yourself :D  
> I will say towards the end I do mention a little bit of body-self consciousness because well it be like that. But thing is even with abs and a muscley body, I have some extra skin on my sides. It's healthy! 
> 
> ALSO I REALIZE I MISSED E IN THE LAST CHAPTER  
> I GET IT :'D

“Shadow talked about us?”

Worried that either Crosshair or Shadow, or even both, would come back with some caliber of new scarring, Hunter desperately wanted to keep his mind off the impending disaster no doubt lurking around the corner. Perhaps learning how much their guide talked about them before she met them would keep his concern at bay. 

Or perhaps not, but it would be better than nothing. 

_ Maker, what have I done _ ?

The older farm owner, Sarah, nodded. “Absolutely. She always gets so excited when she talks about her, how does she put it, favorite space marines,” she said with a warm smile. 

“What’d she say about me?” Wrecker asked, a large grin on his face. 

“Said you were a big guy, but she knew you’d be a total sweetheart if she met you,” Sarah said, then laughed. “She says she’s not good with people, but she’s  _ never _ wrong with her gut feelings about someone.” 

“She is pretty clever,” Hunter agreed. “Knew how to force us into situations where we couldn’t use our primary skills against her.”

“How did you come to meet her, anyways?” Sarah asked, leading them to the barn. 

“We were contacted by Trevor who tried to introduce us to Shadow but…” 

How to say this in a way that wouldn’t look like they’d kidnapped the woman? 

“She bolted,” Tech piped up, much to Hunter’s horror. “She acted very skittish at first to throw us off then used our underestimation of her to her advantage.” 

“Probably wasn’t an act,” Sarah mused. “She hates being caught off guard, and knowing Trevor he left you four as a surprise. Believe it or not, she’s not a melee fighter. She’ll hit you from a distance if she can.” 

“She’s a  _ sniper _ ?” Hunter asked. Odd, Shadow seemed more like Wrecker! Up close and personal, attacking her opponent headon. Hitting hard and fast, decimating her enemy and leaving nothing unscathed. 

She hadn’t done that with them, but she hadn’t wanted to hurt them. When the situation turned dire for her, Hunter still remembered the shift in her style from “evade” to “destroy”. Then there was her fight with James…

_ She’s a complex fighter… I like that _ . 

He yanked his thought back to the present. 

_ Focus. Do  _ **_not_ ** _ get distracted.  _

Sarah was nodding. “That’s her preferred method. Analyze and deal with somethin’ at a distance.”

“She’s hardly distant in her personality,” Tech said. “She exhibits plenty of empathy and has a love of jokes and humor.” 

“She’s a strong and funny fighter!” Wrecker laughed. “Kept crackin’ jokes the entire time we chased her down! I like ‘er!” 

“She is with you willingly, correct?”

Hunter did not miss the protectiveness in the older woman’s tone. Not wanting to provoke her into using some of her  _ jetti _ mysticism, he quickly said, “Yes, she is. We’re… friends now.” 

Dark eyes scanned him, looking deep into his own as she no doubt used the Force to read him. A strong presence pressed against his mind, unnerving Hunter. He stayed away from  _ jetti _ because of stuff like this. His unpredictability was one of his biggest assets. For someone to just read past all that… 

Yet the pressure didn’t feel hostile, just… curious. He tried to block off his true feelings for the mountain guide, only to receive a small push back. The pressure held, then pushed against his blockade once more. Not in a forceful manner, but testing. Seeing if he would yield. When he kept the shield up, the presence relented and backed out, nudging him on the way. 

“I see,” Sarah said, and while Hunter expected judgement in her tone he heard none. 

Shouldn’t she be condemning his feelings? That’s what  _ jetti _ did, right? 

“You were a Jedi,” Hunter said. 

“I was a member of the order at one point,” she said with a nod, walking once more. “I left, but not on the grounds of any personal slight against me. I bear them no ill will, I just prefered a life where I didn’t constantly have to keep up a pretense. I liked combat a little too much, and gave my political opinion perhaps a bit too often for their liking. Jedi are supposed to be peacekeepers after all, and well, I’m not much for that. I like action, I like it when things are interesting.” She chuckled, a sly grin on her face. “Never a dull moment on the farm. Especially when some novice bounty hunters come around thinkin’ I’m an easy few credits just because I’m an older ex-Jedi. They definitely get a shock.”

Hunter didn’t assume Sarah was weak by any means, but this woman clearly was stronger than a first look would reveal. 

“Was Shadow ever considered for the order?” Wercker asked. “Since she can move things with her mind?”

“No,” Sarah replied. “The Force is more than moving stuff with your mind, although it’s helpful when the remote is out of reach. But members of her species couldn’t be Jedi anyways even if they were Force sensitive.”

Tech tilted his head. “Why?”

“Alphians… they  _ need _ their emotions. That’s where their power comes from,” Sarah explained. “The Force requires suppression and giving into the will of something greater than yourself. The way her powers work, they’re at their strongest when she’s passionate about something and lives by her own creed. She  _ needs  _ to let out her emotions. Suppression can result in a power build up which leads to overload. That’s extremely dangerous and can lead to an accidental power move usage.”

Hunter was  _ very _ curious what power move that could be. 

“You’ve been to their planet?” Tech asked, flicking open his vambrace and taking notes. “What is it like there?”

“Never explored, but that’s where my herd came from.” She gestured out across the pasture towards the Hillguides. “The area I was in was the same as the land in the cove. There was a large portal, but it exploded. It’s not too far from here, or at least where it used to be.”

“Shadow mentioned that,” Hunter said. “Why did it blow up?”

“Not sure. Her planet, all planets in her galaxy really, are very interconnected through magic and through the Star Swimmers who built them.”

“Star Swimmers?” Tech and Hunter asked in unison. 

“Yes. It’s all very much something out of a fantasy novel! And I say that as a former Jedi. Can’t remember the details myself, but Star Swimmers are celestial beings far larger and more powerful than anything we can comprehend. They’re planet builders and life givers.”

“Sounds like a god,” Hunter remarked, spooked by her first sentence.  _ Something out of a fantasy novel… Maker, please let this not get any more complicated. _

It was a headache and a half as is.

Sarah was nodding in agreement. “They call them gods. Each planet has two Star Swimmers. No more, no less. I may be getting them mixed but I think the Creators are their offspring and the Ancients are the… no I have it backwards. The Ancients are the offspring, and the Creators then came from them. Or was it the Primals…”

“Would Shadow know?” Tech asked, still tapping away.

“She should! I swear she knows  _ any _ question you ask her about that galaxy,” Sarah laughed as they reached the barn doors. 

“She’s quite knowledgeable!”

“She’s a jack of all trades, master of none, but better than a master of one,” Sarah agreed. “She’d make a fine soldier.”

Hunter wasn’t sure what to think of the fact Sarah looked directly at him when she said that. 

“She sure would! Good with guns and likes to blow stuff up!” Wrecker grinned. 

“That’s her! Pyromaniac if given the tools.”

Wrecker looked over at Hunter. “Could use a wildcard, Sarge!” 

Swallowing down the nervousness rising in his throat, Hunter merely said, “Haven’t known her that long, Wrecker.”

“We will by the end of the mission!” 

Dodging the topic, Hunter asked Sarah, “Did she say why she liked us? Assuming she mentioned that while talking to you.”

“You’re different,” Sarah shrugged. “ _ Unique _ . And despite being different, you are still very successful. Show that being different isn’t a bad thing. It doesn’t stop you from making a name for yourself.”

_ Shadow didn’t strike me as sentimental.  _ Then again he didn’t know too much about her values other than she was pro-freedom, very protective, and very loyal to those she cared about. Shadow’s personality he knew, but Shadow herself… 

To like them for the very reason that made the Kaminoans hate them...

“She’s a unique woman herself,” Hunter commented, half to himself as Sarah took them inside.

Hay and dust littered the floor while square bales sat stacked floor to ceiling in one corner. Around the corner Hunter could see the beginning of a row of stalls. Old hay and sawdust flooded his nose and he withheld a sneeze. Directly under a wooden staircase, which was sectioned off by a door, was an interior room with  _ Feed Room _ over the door. A black and white tacrumel slept on a chest outside the door, but Hunter only caught a glimpse of lazy yellow eyes before the feline went back to sleep. 

“Full of surprises, that’s for sure!” Sarah agreed as she opened the door to the steps and gestured for them to go ahead up. “There’s a bathroom, den/kitchen area, and enclosed bedroom up there. Don’t worry, this door locks. Make yourselves at home, I’m going to finish up some woodwork back at my shop, it’s by the cabin.”

“You helped Shadow construct her sabers, correct?” Tech asked as Wrecker squeezed past him to head upstairs. 

“I did. Have you seen her fight with them yet?” 

“No, ma’am,” Tech said, shaking his head. “We’ve only seen her in hand to hand combat.”

“That’s a spectacle on its own!”

Hunter had to agree. Seeing her move like that…

_ Focus on the mission.  _

Sarah, unaware of his inner turmoil, continued, “Has she used her Earth power yet?”

“Yes!” Tech said excitedly. “She’s created earthen formations from the ground, caused a minor earthquake, reinforced her claws with stone, and grew some briars.”

“Ah! Spike, Stomp, Reinforced, and Green Thumb if I remember correctly.”

“Do you know all of the moves she can do?” Tech asked, noting the names on his vambrace.

“I know a lot, but I prefer to let her tell you those.” Sarah turned her gaze to Hunter. “Why did you get her for a mission, anyways? And what’s a planet this far in the Outer Rim got to do with the war?”

“It’s not directly war related as far as we know. It’s a side mission. Members of Shadow’s species invaded and took over a planet so Shadow is helping us retrieve their weakness so we can drive them out,” Hunter explained. 

“She must be taking you to the Vault then.” Sarah crossed her arms and looked over Tech. “Well, trooper, if you like exploring strange areas, you’ll enjoy the rest of the trip.”

“Why?” Hunter asked warily. What crazy nonsense were they going to have to deal with next.

“Because the Vault is linked to the same magic system as the rest of the planets in her home system.”

_ Don’t like that _ . “Meaning?”

“Over the hill, the environment shifts to jungle.”

**_Dank farrik_ ** . 

“But we are at a temperate latitude!” Tech protested. “This planet follows a certain type of climate placement and only hardwoods are found this far inland with no major sources of warm moist air. It’s scientifically impossible for a jungle biome to appear in the middle of a hardwood forest such as this!” 

Sarah laughed. “Honey, the Vault doesn’t care about what’s scientifically possible. It’s quite fascinating, honestly. The magic almost… infects the area around it.”

“Shadow did mention such an occurrence yesterday. But she said it only showed up in or around portals!”

“Not every portal is physical,” Sarah said with a wink. 

“What  _ exactly _ is the Vault?” Hunter asked, stepping forward. 

“I don’t know  _ exactly _ .” Sarah paused, eyes growing serious. “I am taking a chance trusting you with the information.” 

Hunter leaned forward. “Yes?”

“While Trevor told me others can go inside, Shadow herself is the  _ only _ one who can access it.” She paused again. “No other  _ mortal  _ can open it.”

Everything came to a screeching halt. 

_ What?! _ “Are you saying Shadow is a  _ goddess _ !?”

“She sure looks like one!” Wrecker called from upstairs. 

_ How did he even hear that? _

Sarah cast an amused glance towards the ceiling before looking back to Hunter. “I’ll tell you the truth, Sergeant. There’s something off about Shadow. She doesn’t have a Force signature like a Force sensitive would, but nevertheless she leaves  _ massive _ ripples wherever she goes. I don’t really understand it myself, and have never seen anything like it. It’s… almost as if reality itself bends whenever she’s around.”

“Reality  _ bends _ ?” Tech inquired as Hunter paled. “What do you mean by that? Reality shouldn’t bend to anything, it’s reality!”

Sarah shook her head. “All I know is both her and that friend of hers, Trevor, both have the same effect. Things just… don’t like to work right whenever they’re around. Like I said, I don’t understand it.”

“Is it… a negative sort of reality displacement?” 

Sarah shook her head. “Trevor’s are chaotic, instances happening at true random. Shadow’s have some reason and pattern to them, but it’s still hit or miss as far as leaving a ripple. Nevertheless, she doesn’t give off a presence similar to the Darkside  _ or _ the Lightside. She’s in the middle, a grey area. Both her and Trevor. It’s not negative, it’s not positive, it just  _ is _ .” Her eyes focused on Hunter. “Something tells me that you might know why she has this effect, Sergeant.” 

Heart in his throat, Hunter tried to keep his cool and shook his head. “I cannot think of any logical reason why she could bend reality.”

Sarah snorted softly. “Hmm. Logical reason.” She laid a hand on his shoulder. “Let me impart some old ex-Jedi master wisdom. Once you stop trying to look at everything through a logical lens, that’s when you really start to see.” 

“But logic and reasoning always win,” Tech protested, slightly perturbed. “You cannot change facts!”

“You’re right. They’re stubborn things. But facts aren’t always what you’ll want to hear.” Sarah looked back at Hunter. “Or what you  _ expect  _ to hear.” 

_ She knows… she  _ **_knows_ ** _ Shadow is a Realm Walker.  _

He had to ask her. He needed to know. “Tech. Go upstairs.”

“What? Why?” Tech exclaimed, looking at him. “I want to stay and learn about Shadow! I have never before encountered something like this and I must get all the information I can to make a conclusion-”

“Just do it.”

Tech blinked at Hunter’s stern tone. “But what could be so secret-”

“ _ Tech _ .”

Tech groaned but relented. “Fine.” He turned to Sarah. “Thank you for allowing us to stay here.”

“Think nothing of it, hun. Always happy to lend a helping hand, and I don’t get many visitors here.” She snorted in amusement. “Well, other than unwelcome ones.”

Tech smiled, cast a suspicious glance at Hunter, and walked up the steps. 

Hunter waited until he was gone then turned to Sarah. “Can I speak with you? Outside?”

“I suppose.”

Hurrying outside, Hunter walked until he was sure Tech couldn’t hear them. Taking extra care, he flicked on his short range signal jammer before turning to Sarah and whispering, “Do you know what a Realm Walker is?”

Sarah blinked slowly. “You have the same thought as me, then.”

“Is she?” Hunter demanded, heart beating hard against his chest. If he  _ was _ dealing with a Realm Walker… a  _ real  _ one… then he and his team had somehow ended up in an alternate timeline and everything he knew to be true could be altered. 

_ I never should have agreed to this mission! _

_ Then you wouldn’t know Shadow. _

That was true but… 

**Maker** , what was going on?!

“I don’t know,” Sarah replied with a sigh. “Never asked her. It wasn’t my place to know, and knowing wouldn’t change anything.”

“But if she is one, you are aware-”

“That we might be in a pocket dimension or alternate reality of sorts? Yes.” She shrugged. “Like I said, logic can only get you so far in life.”

Shoving down the panic threatening to crawl up his throat, Hunter jumped at Sarah’s hand on his arm. 

“Soldier, panicking about it won’t change anything. Take a deep breath,” she said, voice slow and steady. 

_ I should have better self-control and stress management than this! _

“Don’t you dare beat yourself up for panicking, though,” Sarah warned, no doubt sensing the shift in mood. “Panicking might not help, but you aren’t wrong for feeling that way.”

“Aren’t you Jedi all about feelings being wrong?” Hunter growled, growing frustrated. 

“Ex-Jedi, mind you, and don’t lump all of us into one group. We aren’t a hive mind.”

“I wasn’t-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Sarah’s voice turned kind. “But you do need to take some breaths.”

Feeling like a cadet again, being instructed calming techniques by one of the few caring longnecks, Hunter nodded and tried to focus on deep inhales and slow exhales. 

“I can lend some help,” Sarah offered. 

“No… I got it,” Hunter mumbled. “Thanks.”

Sarah shrugged and let go of his arm. “Tell me when you are calm, and we’ll continue.”

“I am calm.”

Sarah merely raised an eyebrow. 

“Alright,” Hunter muttered, grounding himself.  _ Wind in the trees, bird song, river flowing over the rocks. Earth beneath my feet, weight of my armor, weakening sun on my face. Rain-heavy breeze, soil, sweat and fur from those creatures…  _

He opened his eyes, heart slowing back to its normal pace.

Sarah offered a gentle, encouraging smile. “That’s better.”

“So…” Hunter muttered. “A pocket dimension?”

“Or alternate reality. But depending on how much you know about Realm Walkers you’d know that if she  _ is _ one, you’re in luck. You know  _ why _ Realm Walkers pop up?” 

Realm Walkers weren’t exactly well documented. They were supposed to be legends anyways, so Hunter hadn’t thought to look deeper into them. “No, ma’am.” 

“Because something needs fixing. Something is wrong in the true reality.”

_ Hardly reassuring _ . 

“If a Realm Walker becomes  _ directly _ involved with you, you have a major advantage.” 

“They can change the future, can’t they?” Hunter asked. “They’re prophetic.”

“Correct.” Sarah frowned thoughtfully. “Or not prophetic, exactly, but they know what’s going to happen. They’ve seen it. And they can change it. That’s why they tend to be so powerful and/or invincible. The stronger and more resilient they are, the bigger the threat they will face is.”

This information churned his stomach. “Shadow’s… pretty powerful.”

“Some Realm Walkers have powers increased and added to help, but in Shadow’s case, I think a lot she carries from whatever reality she comes from.” Sarah sighed. “If she even  _ is _ a Realm Walker. I’ve never brought it up with her.”

“I could-”

“I wouldn’t recommend you asking either,” Sarah said, cutting him off with a raised hand. “At least not yet. She either knows the concept but not the name or is aware of both and could panic if she’s called out. Build her trust up a little more, then she may reveal it. She could know, but not want to tell you because she thinks you’d never believe her.”

“She seems confused whenever odd stuff happens, but she’s well aware that weird things happen around her,” Hunter said.  _ Especially with the damn plot armor incident. That makes a lot more sense _ . The inconsistencies with the sailors also suddenly made a lot more sense. “She doesn’t exactly hide it.”

“Probably just doesn’t know the name,” Sarah agreed, then looked over him. “I know you have strong feelings for her. I do not know how deep they run, but do not dance around the subject with her. She hates mind games.”

Hunter bristled. What kind of man did this woman think he was? “I wouldn’t-”

“Just telling you,” Sarah interrupted. “Honesty is your best bet with her. She definitely respects you, so in the unlikely event she doesn’t return the feelings she won’t hate you.”

Terror at possibly being trapped in a pocket dimension waned briefly, replaced by hope. “Unlikely?”

“I’m old, not blind,” Sarah said with a short laugh. “She said you had heightened senses, but they’re exceptionally dull if you can’t tell she feels strongly about you.” 

Another spark of hope warmed Hunter’s chest, but he shook his head. “She’s got a crush on Wrecker.”

“Alphians, at least those I’ve met, often can be in multi-relationships. They’re not strictly monogamous.” She shrugged and turned away, heading back towards her workshop. “Tell her. You may be surprised.”

Watching her leave, a vast array of emotions swirling in his chest. Panic, worry, fear, confusion, uncertainty, hope… 

It was enough to result in a bloom of pain behind his eyes. Rubbing his temple, Hunter leaned against the nearest tree at the edge of the small clearing. 

Realm Walkers, goddesses, magic, alternate realities…

_ That does it. No more non-GAR missions.  _

They were known for taking on suicide missions, sure, but he drew the line at mystical mayhem. 

He looked out in the direction his sniper and mountain guide had gone, thinking he saw them near a large stand of short fruit trees, but he couldn’t make out anything. 

**_Your_ ** _ mountain guide? _

Growling to himself, frustrated at the uncertainty now plaguing him whenever he was around Shadow, Hunter stormed back to the barn. 

_ Splash some water in your face. It’ll help _ .

A feeble plan at best, but it was better than nothing. 

_ “Better than eleven percent!” _

Shaking his head to rid his ears of Shadow’s playful laugh before it sent him spiralling again, Hunter slammed open the door to the barn. 

Tech stood directly inside, the top portion of his armor removed. 

Hunter glared at him. “I thought I told you to stay upstairs.”

“You did,” Tech answered simply, crossing his arms. “I didn’t listen.”

_ What’s the point of being a sergeant if no one listens to me?!  _

“You turned on your signal jammer. What was I not supposed to hear?”

Flicking it off, Hunter began, “Tech-”

“I’m not a cadet, anymore, Hunter. If it affects the team, we have a right to know.” 

“Not now,” Hunter grumbled, trying to push past him. 

Tech stepped in front of him and stood his ground. “What did she tell you about Shadow? What’s wrong with her?” 

“There’s  _ nothing _ wrong with Shadow!” Hunter snapped. 

Tech blinked, otherwise unfazed. “You do not lose your cool like this. She must have told you something. It was about Shadow having an odd effect on reality, wasn’t it?” 

Hunter glared at his younger brother, this scene all too familiar. How often had Tech confronted him when they were cadets after Hunter learned something that could put his team, his  _ family _ , in danger? Tech was  _ stubborn _ , far more than people ever imagined. He never let up. 

Unless Hunter promised he would tell him later. 

Hunter sighed roughly, reaching back and running his fingers through the dark locks at the back of his neck before saying to Tech, “I’ll tell you tonight, alright?” 

Tech’s eyes narrowed behind his goggles, but he merely said, “Fine.” He started back up the steps, grumbling under his breath. 

Hunter started up after him, but movement out of the corner of his eye made him jerk his head around. 

An older man with tan weathered skin and erratic greying hair dressed in work clothes leaned against the wall in the corner of the barn, watching him with sharp eyes. The backs of his scarred hands bore odd matching tattoos, diamond in shape with swirling patterns at each of the four sides above triangular fin-shaped protrusions. The man gave Hunter a mischievous smile and winked at him. 

“Hunter?” Tech called from the top of the stairs. 

Hunter looked up to him briefly before looking back to the man. 

Only to discover he was gone. 

Hand shifting to the pistol on his hip, Hunter slowly set his helmet down. Pulling the gun from its holster, he slowly crept forward with his finger hovering above the trigger, listening hard for any noise. 

Scuff of a boot, sharp inhale of breath, even the faint beat of a heart. Casting his senses out, ignoring anything smaller than a humanoid, he scanned for any sign of life. 

Tech registered behind him, Wrecker above him, the Hillguides outside in the field, the faint signatures of Shadow and Crosshair on the very edge of his range, Sarah at the opposite end… but no one else. 

He shortened the range. 

Tech, Wrecker… that was it. 

As if the man simply vanished. Or was never there at all. 

But Hunter had  _ seen _ him. Drawing close to where the man had been, a scent stood out from the mustiness of the barn. 

Clean, crisp, with a hint of salt. 

There, in the corner of a barn in the middle of a vast forested mountain range, Hunter smelled the all too familiar scent of the sea. 

“What are you doing?” Tech asked behind him, hand behind his back resting on his own pistol as he made his way over to Hunter. 

“Did you not see him?” Hunter demanded, spooked. Hidden assailants he could deal with.  _ Cloaked _ assailants he could deal with. 

But enemies that literally vanished into thin air, leaving behind only a scent?

“Who?” Tech asked, voice lowering as he stood back to back with Hunter, covering his blind spot instinctively and pulling his own pistol out. 

“I don’t know. Older human male, about Crosshair’s height and build with grey hair and work clothes. Was standing in this corner.”

“I didn’t see anyone, and no one came in while you were out there,” Tech said slowly. “I can run a range scan for lifeforms.”

“Do it,” Hunter ordered, still on edge. “Now.”

Tech nodded and made his way to the steps with his back facing them, looking down the sights of his pistol as his aim swept back and forth across the barn. Seeing no one, he hurried around and dashed up the stairs, taking two at a time. 

Eyes narrowing, Hunter scanned the empty barn as he stepped towards the row of stalls. “Doesn’t have to be done the hard way,” he growled. “Show yourself.” 

Only the wind whistling through the barn answered him. The odd smell of the sea caught his attention, but it was gone before he could be sure. 

Checking each stall yielded nothing, aside from a pissed sparrow that angrily chirped at him for ruining its nap. 

Casting his senses out once more, extending them as far as he could without overloading himself, Hunter scanned for  _ any _ sign of the mysterious man. 

His search still yielded nothing. 

Slowly lowering his weapon, Hunter brought his senses back in. 

Spice trip. 

This whole damn thing was a spice trip.

Maybe he’d gotten bucked off that Hillguide and hit his head and was in a dream. 

Maybe he’d never even woken up after going to sleep at that outpost! 

Because this  _ couldn’t _ be real. 

Cautiously reholstering his firearm, Hunter went back to the steps and scooped his helmet up. Sending one last glare at the still empty corner, Hunter ascended the steps to the small loft space. 

Wrecker, the top portion of his armor removed minus his knuckle guards, stood with his gun next to Tech as the engineer fiddled with one of his scanners. He aimed it at the stairs but quickly lowered it when he saw Hunter. 

“Find ‘im, Sarge?”

Hunter shook his head. “Nothing. Tech?”

The engineer shook his head as well. “Nothing on my scanners.” He looked up and squinted. “You’re certain you saw someone?”

Hunter looked back down towards the steps. “Thought I did…”

“Probably just hungry, Sarge!” Wrecker laughed. 

“Maybe.” Hunter wasn’t so sure. “We’ll take shifts tonight, just in case.”

Stripping the upper layer of his armor and organizing it in a pile next to Wrecker’s, Hunter was once again glad he’d introduced the armoring contest to see who could get ready the fastest. They could get ready in record time, a skill that had saved them more than once. 

Footsteps coming up the steps, followed by a female’s voice, caught his attention and alerted him to Shadow and Crosshair’s approach. Heading to the stairs, he went to greet them. 

_ Please don’t be in a silent war, please don’t be in a silent war… _

He wasn’t sure what caught his eye first. 

Crosshair helmetless, his helmet full of berries, the relaxed expression on the sniper’s face, or…

**_Where is her shirt?_ ** _! _

“Sarge?” Shadow asked, head cocked to the side. “You uh… ok there?” 

Crosshair raised an eyebrow at him from over Shadow’s shoulder, a faint smug smirk on his face. 

Sputtering, Hunter gestured to her bare stomach with both hands and managed, “What?!”

Shadow pointed to Crosshair’s helmet. “Needed a linin’ for his bucket.”

“But-”

“Woah!” 

Wrecker’s yell echoed around the loft a moment before the floor rattled. Coming to Hunter’s side, he gasped, “You’re muscular, Squeaky!”

Shadow laughed as she and Crosshair made it into the loft and stood side by side. “Well duh! With all the trainin’ I did for karate, I should hope I gained some abs from that!”

“I like ‘em!” 

“Thanks, big guy!” She then shrugged and poked her stomach. “Looked better when I was still hard at it, but they still work. Could do without this, though,” she sighed, pulling on the skin at her side.

Tech’s head appeared around Wrecker. “Oh! That’s just because your body built up fat to help protect your muscles. It’s healthier to have some fat rather than strictly lean muscle, as muscle gain is incredibly taxing on your body. Fat storage helps give you the energy to use them properly. They’re gained from use, right?”

“Aye. I mean I’m not as active as I used to be. But thanks, Tech.” She looked to Crosshair. “Can I have the bucket? I’ll move the strawberries to an actual bowl.”

Crosshair hesitated but slowly handed the helmet over to her. 

Carefully taking it from the sniper who watched her every move, Shadow carried it over and switched the berries to the white bowl on the counter. Handing it back to Crosshair, she slipped her stained shirt back on and grabbed a few berries before moving to perch on the back of the couch. “Sarge, lookin’ kinda spooked there.” 

“Did you see anyone when you were out there?” Hunter asked. 

Shadow raised an eyebrow as Wrecker sat on the couch behind her. “No?” 

“Sarge thought he saw a ghost,” Wrecker explained, munching on some strawberries. 

“ _ Wasn’t _ a ghost, I saw someone,” Hunter growled. 

“Description?” Crosshair asked, stiffening. 

“Older human male, crazy grey hair, your skin tone, work clothes, diamond shaped tattoos on the backs of his hands with swirls.” 

At the mention of the tattoos, Shadow’s eyes flew wide, her ears going stiff. “Hold it. Did you smell the ocean?” 

_ Oh no… no no no! Not another reality shift! _ “Yes.”

Diving across the floor to her pack, she yelled, “Sketch pad!” Yanking out a pencil, she quickly scribbled something and showed him. “Did the tattoos look like this?” 

Hunter’s eyes widened. While missing the fins on the outer sides, hers was spot on. “You know who that was?” he demanded. 

She looked away and muttered something under her breath. 

“What?” he demanded. 

“That was Maxolyn…” She looked back up at him. “The Kelusian god of the seas.” 

_ Shoot me… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I called a god character a crackhead. Max is lovely but has that crazy sailor in him. You know the type. Full of wisdom and kinda sweet, but wild af and loves to play jokes
> 
> Also, because I was a fool and sped through ~13000 words in a single week, I've crashed so I have NO idea when the next chapter will be out. Hopefully it wont be a monster chapter


	19. Ch. 18 Skunked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's start the New Year off right with another chapter! A 4871 word chapter at that!
> 
> I adore Wrecker yall just. I love he 
> 
> The chapter is a bit messy and may feel a bit incomplete at times, but I'm really trying to forge ahead and get AT LEAST to Trust Shattered before the Bad Batch show comes out. I got until Feb or March if the rumors are correct. We've got a ways to go.  
> But hey, we're in it for the crazy! 
> 
> I did actually post a shore peek at the extremely fluffy chapter 20: Toe the Line on my tumblr (ShadowsStoryStuff) if you want to see that! 
> 
> Next chapter, chapter 19, is honestly all over the place again and a patchwork so no idea when that will be out. Actually, I didn't expect to have this chapter out until next week but I wanted to get something out today so... yeah never know when the next chapter will be out. 
> 
> Content Warning: Anxiety mentions

Really?

_ Really _ ?

The first oc of mine I encounter other than Trevor, and it’s a  _ god _ . 

Max of all of ‘em!

_ Maybe it’s some sign you should really get back into True Colors. That story has been collecting dust for quite a while… _

_ Can we focus? _

“Back up,” Hunter demanded. “You’re saying a  _ god _ just showed up?” 

“Seems that way!” I retorted. “Unless you have another explanation for how he pulled a Houdini and vanished into thin air!”

“What’s a Houdini?” Wrecker asked. 

_ Right… _ “Nevermind.” 

“Why would a ruler of the seas of another planet present himself here to just vanish again?” Tech asked. “Assuming, of course, that he was real. Scientifically-”

“Science is nothing but an assemblage of experiments, theories, and supported hypotheses,” I interrupted. “We’re not even allowed to say a hypothesis is correct, only supported. Science isn’t the answer to everything.” 

I hadn’t really seen Tech  _ mad _ before, but he looked close. Definitely offended. “How can you say that?!” he sputtered. 

_ Boi I jump between fandoms like it’s a demented game of inter-dimensional hopscotch, think I’m entitled to a little bit of doubt. _

“Given the crazy stuff I’ve experienced?” I replied, shaking my head. “Doubt in established science is the only possible reaction. Comes a time when you gotta trust your  _ eyes _ rather than what other people tell you.”

He crossed his arms. “Well  _ I _ didn’t see anything.”

“Hunter did, right?” I asked, rising from my position by my pack. 

Hunter nodded. “But why would a god of the seas show up here in the middle of a forested planet lightyears away from his own?”

“I’m a Kelusian. The gods can track creatures connected to their planets even across galaxies. And Maxolyn isn’t just god of the seas,” I said. “He covers health, dreams, and adventures. Adventurers actually pray to him before going on a quest. If he shows himself, the quest is blessed.” I laughed briefly at the rhyme before continuing. “But if he doesn’t, it’s bad luck. Sailors do the same. If he shows, it’s a blessed voyage. If not… well you can figure what that means.”

Sailors always were a superstitious lot, what with their distrust of Fridays and bananas. 

“So you prayed to him?” Hunter asked, tone hopeful. “That’s why he showed up. Not some other reason?” 

“No, which brings me to the next thing. If he shows and you  _ didn’t _ ask for his blessin’, he’s taken a  _ personal _ interest in your adventure.”

That didn’t sit well with the sergeant at all judging by the scowl on his face. “That good or bad?”

“Both.”

Hunter crossed his arms. “How so?” 

“Usually means the adventure has a favorable outcome, but you hit  _ significant _ snags on the way. One of those ‘builds character’ type scenarios. Which can be minor or utterly  _ shatter  _ someone.”

Hunter looked rather unnerved. “No chance of it being a random appearance?”

“If you see him again, no.” I pondered for a moment, calling up what I could recall off the top of my head without my notes. “He can’t exactly affect the outcome of anything here, he’s not a god of this planet. And he’s an Ancient. They’re low level gods. They’ve got a limited amount of power since they’re tied to a planet. Same with the Creators, although seeing one of them is rare. Star Swimmers aren’t tied to a planet, the planet is tied to them. They created and molded the planet, then made the Ancients to rule over it more closely and the Ancients made the Creators to make the creatures to inhabit the planets.”

“You’re ramblin’,” Crosshair remarked, voice neutral as he leaned on the counter. 

I fell quiet, ears twitching backwards. Shoot… got carried away again...

“Don’t discourage her!” Tech protested, having slipped on his vambrace to note what I’m saying. He looked eagerly at me for more information. “Go on!” 

My tail twitched, unease slipping up on me. Crosshair was hardly hostile when he made the comment, but… damn anxiety was acting up again. Hunter hadn’t asked for all that… he just wanted to know about Maxalon. Maxolyn. Max. Whatever I had his name as now. They probably didn’t care about the rest. I was just boring them. 

“Squeak?” Wrecker asked, voice quieter than usual. 

_ They’re waiting for you to get to the point _ . “Yeah, sorry. Uh, if you see him again, Hunter, just tell me. And I guess be alert but that’s every mission for y’all I guess.”

“Right.” He looked me up and down. “You ok?”

“Yeah,” I muttered, avoiding his gaze and missing the glance exchanged between him and Crosshair. 

“Nice goin’, Cross,” Wrecker grumbled. 

“Ain’t his fault my brain is defective,” I said quickly as Crosshair opened his mouth to defend himself. “‘Sides, we should probably try to fish before that storm hits. We’ve got maybe twenty minutes.” 

“Should get moving then,” Hunter said, going and grabbing his pistol just in case. 

Crosshair went to drop his pack off, going out of his way to brush past me.

Catching his eye, I just flicked my ears and shook my head as I picked my pack off the ground. 

Wasn’t worth talking about. 

Wrecker pushed himself off the couch. “Sure you’re ok, Squeak?” 

“Will be in a few. Don’t worry, it comes and goes. Takes a bit more than an offhand comment to knock me out of the game permanently,” I said, offering him a smile. 

He still looked skeptical as I stood up and headed down the stairs. Following me down the stairs, he stuck close to my side as we stepped outside. “Cross didn’t-”

“No, I know. He’s cynical and combative, but not outright  _ mean _ . Most of the time.”

Wrecker chuckled nervously. “Heh, yeah. You two patch things up?”

I shrugged. “We’re on level ground I feel like now, or at the very least have reached an understandin’. But about that episode back there…”  _ Or whatever you call this curse _ . “It just… certain words trigger that. Ain’t his fault. I’ll recover,” I sighed, heading towards the river. I then smiled up at the demolition expert. “But I appreciate the support, big fella, I really do.”

Wrecker smiled warmly, resting a hand on my shoulder as we walked. “Of course, Squeak. I care, ya know?”

“I know, Scruffy,” I chuckled, my mood slowly improving. “Wouldn’t have told you the feelin’s were reciprocated if I didn’t think you did.” 

His smile brightened, the pure joy on his face melting my heart. His expression then suddenly changed into something more playful. “Hey… know what these blacks are made of?” he asked, a sly look on his face now. 

_ Heard this one _ . Yet I could hardly be perturbed at the incoming flirtation. The big guy’s boundless enthusiasm was just so contagious. “Let me guess… boyfriend material?” 

His grin widened. “So you agree!” he laughed, tugging me close to his side. 

Staggering into him, witholding a grimace as my hip collided with his thigh armor, I playfully poked him in the ribs. With the top portion of his armor removed, I now had easy access. “I didn’t say anythin’ ‘bout that.”

“Oh, but ya do! Wrecker can tell!”

“Can he now?” 

“You bet, Squeak!” 

I grinned, then shot a quick glance behind us. The others hadn’t come out yet, but it was mainly Hunter I was worried about. He could hear farther than the others. 

But I couldn’t see him, so it should be safe. I turned to Wrecker. “Wreck, I absolutely would claim you as a boyfriend, hands down. But… I don’t really know how the others fit into this yet. I don’t want to rush into anything, you know?”

His smile softened. “‘Course, Squeak. But ya know, we’d be open to sharin’.”

“Well now I sound like a sandwich,” I snorted, rolling my eyes. 

“Nah, you’re more like a pie.”

“What?” I asked, head tilting to the side.

“A cutie pie!” he teased, picking me up and hugging me close again without breaking stride. 

“You’re gonna give me a toothache, Wrecker!” I laughed. I wasn’t one for cutesy nicknames, especially one like that that flat out called me “cute”, but Wrecker got a pass. I also had to admit being carried around by him was  _ much  _ more enjoyable without hard plastoid pressing into me. 

Talk about touch starved...

He laughed as well, the action shaking his entire body and the sound resonating through mine. “So ya do like me too?”

“Well duh,” I teased, poking his nose but avoiding the scars. It felt… too intimate to touch them yet. He was probably sensitive there as well, and with that milky eye probably wouldn’t be able to see if I reached to that side of his face. Or maybe he could, I didn’t know how advanced cybernetics were in Star Wars as far as eyes went. 

“You’re playful when ya aren’t around the others,” he remarked with a smile, thankfully unaware of my inner turmoil. 

“Yeah well… I know I can let my guard down around you and you’re playful back. The others aren’t really,” I replied, pulling my tail up into my lap so it didn’t trip him or get stepped on. “Hunter a little bit, but not like you.”

“I like this side of ya,” he declared, then added with a smirk, “Guess I need to get ya alone more often, huh?”

“Good luck! Tech has been a magnet lately,” I chuckled. Such an inquisitive little nerd. A lethal little nerd, but still a nerd. 

“He’ll prob’bly wanna go look for critters while we fish,” Wrecker said, setting me down as we reached the river.

“Then we still got Hunter and Cross,” I said, dropping my tail and scavenging for a suitable stick. 

Wercker followed me. “Whatcha doin’?” 

“Gonna show you how to make a makeshift pole. Would use a bamboo rod if we had bamboo but ain’t got that.” 

“What about this?” Wrecker asked, holding up a stick. 

I took the branch from him and inspected it. “Hmm. This could work! Now, you know how to make a makeshift rod?”

“Sorta… but I’d love for you to show me!” he said. “I like hearin’ ya talk!”

_ At least you do _ . “Alrighty, Wreck! Watch and learn.”

Pulling the supplies from my pack, I knelt on the ground with him beside me and helped him make the makeshift pole. After sticking himself with the hook a couple times, I took over with that part but finally he was able to present the finished rod to me. 

“Not bad, Scruff!” I congratulated. Bit messy, but it’d do. 

“Thanks, Squeak! Had a great teacher,” he chuckled, nudging me. 

I smiled. “Thanks, Wreck.”

“Nice pole,” Hunter commented, coming up behind us. Crosshair, still wearing the top portion of his armor, stood next to him. 

“Squeak helped me!” Wrecker said. 

“I see,” Hunter commented. Looking to me, he asked, “Got enough in there for two more?” 

“Cross not a fisher?” I asked before I noticed the makeshift spear in the sergeant’s hand. “You spear fishin’?”

He shrugged. “Like to keep my skills sharp.”

“Fair enough,” I remarked, then noticed they were one member short. “Where’s Tech?”

“Vermin huntin’,” Crosshair supplied, looking for himself a stick. 

“Thought he was a vegetarian?” I called after the sniper.

“Cataloging,” Hunter said. “Not hunting.”

“Ah, gotcha,” I said and looked to Wrecker. “Think ya can put together another one for me while I go dig up some bait?”

“Sure, Squeak!”

I nodded and headed off to find some worms. Or crickets, those would work too. 

Pulling a Tupperware container out, I picked a muddy spot and started digging. As I dug, I relished the cool dirt beneath my fingers, the sound and smell of the river, and the light breeze tugging my clothes. Damn did I miss this…

Gathering a decent supply of worms, I headed back. “Got some bait,” I announced. 

Hunter, up to his knees midway across the shallow river, peered at the container. “That’s not one we eat out of is it?”

“What? Um, no?” I replied. “I’m not stupid.”

“Just checkin’,” he said, raising his hands before going back to fishing.

I rolled my eyes and sat down beside Wrecker. “Ok, bud, you know how to bait a hook?”

“Yeah!” he laughed. “Wait, aren’t girls creeped out by worms?”

_ We are  _ **_not_ ** _ about to do the “Not Like Other Girls” trope.  _

“Have you… not met girls who fish? Literally half my friends fish or hunt,” I replied. “Then there’s us equestrians who can stick our fingers in a horse’s mouth, get coated in slobber and slimy leftover grass, and continue like nothing’s happened. Hell, Sarah is like that! I’m not some vague species, I’m just a really masculine tomboy. Y’all need to meet more girls, jeeze.”

“I’m happy with you, Squeaky,” Wrecker laughed, nudging me. 

“Aw, well that’s sweet, Wrecker, I appreciate it,” I replied with a grin, only half joking. He really was a sweetheart.

Wasn’t his fault I had an aversion to sugar.

“Besides!” he continued. “Not all of you is masculine! Your figure isn’t!”

Crosshair dropped his stick and I was pretty sure Hunter got whiplash from how fast his head jerked around. 

I merely stared at Wrecker for a few moments before sighing and glancing behind me. “Well. Kickin’ power has to come from  _ somewhere _ .”

“Exactly!” Wrecker grinned, unaware of the near horrified look Hunter sent his way. 

Shaking my head and rolling my eyes, I set to work fishing and was soon joined at the bank by Crosshair and Wrecker as they dealt with their own poles.

Well, Crosshair was fishing. Wrecker had other plans.

The demolition expert leaned on the tree next to me. "So, Shadow,” he began, a cheeky grin on his face. 

“Yeah, Wreck?” I asked, distracted by the fact the tree he leaned on was dead. This should be entertaining. 

“Think there's a quiet spot further down the river where you and me might have better luck."

_ Charming _ . 

Faint cracking caught my ears before the dead tree splintered and gave way under the man's weight. He stumbled and caught his balance at the last minute, laughing nervously.

"Uh huh," I snorted, eyeing the fallen tree before pointing my makeshift pole at him. "How about you try that line on the fish? Cause I ain't bitin'." 

Hunter chuckled. "That's not how you reel in a catch like Shadow."

Casting a skeptical look in his direction, I received a small yet sly smile in return. 

Heart jumping, I snorted and rolled my eyes, an amused smile on my own face. Commandos or not, they were still typical college age boys. But dammit this boy was  _ not  _ helping my internal crisis of trying to figure out where he stood.  _ That’s it, you and me are having a talk later tonight _ . "You're hilarious, Hunter."

"Are we flirtin' or are we fishin'?" Crosshair grumbled, casting into the river. 

"Can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm with Cross." 

The sniper rolled his eyes. “Flattered, sweetheart.”

“Well, my life is complete, I’ve flattered the beanstalk.” I looked towards the sergeant. "As for  _ you _ , sir. Change your name from Hunter to Fisher for thirty minutes and see if you can get some dinner."

Hunter held my gaze, eyes narrowed slightly, before plunging the spear into the river. When he pulled it out, a trout had been impaled at the tip. 

_ Shit… that’s actually kinda hot. _

I looked away before Hunter noticed my face had gone red. “Tch, whatever.”

“Hey, you’re blushin’!” Wrecker laughed. 

“Can you not?!” I yelped, voice squeaking. I then glared at Hunter as he smirked. “Wipe that smirk off your face before I tele-push you into the deep in, Shaggy.” 

He made to reply, but a startled yell from down the bank cut him off. 

Tech!

Dropping my pole, I took off down the riverbank. What trouble had the nerd gotten himself into this time!?

I abruptly stopped as a foul reek hit me in the face like a rogue wave. Coughing, eyes watering, I squinted at Tech as he stumbled out of the bushes. 

He shook his head and waved his hands. “I’m fine!” 

"The hell happened?" I exclaimed, blocking my nose with my arm as I backed away from the reeking trooper. "You smell like you got sprayed by a skunk!" 

Crosshair and Wrecker had reached my side, followed soon by Hunter. They all copied me and gagged at the smell while covering their noses. 

"Are they small and black with a white dorsal stripe?" Tech mumbled dejectedly, taking a step back from us.

"Aw man," I groaned. "How'd you manage  _ this _ ?"

"I... I planned to study the animal but-"

"Dammit, Four Eyes, told you to stop pissin’ off vermin," Crosshair spat, the hand over his nose making his voice more nasally than usual. 

"I didn't know it would spray me!" Tech protested, voice cracking. 

“You couldn’t figure that a prey animal would have a defense mechanism?” I asked in disbelief.

"Enough. Shadow, how do we get that stink off him?" Hunter asked, looking Tech up and down. "Because he is not getting into the barn loft smelling like that."

"Only thing I know of is a tomato juice bath," I replied. "Could ask Sarah if she has any. Tech would still have to strip down and get in a tub up the stuff. Him  _ and _ his armor."

"I'll go with you. Can't stand that smell," Hunter grumbled. "You three remain here. Crosshair, Wrecker, continue fishing."

"And no redneck fishin' either," I warned the demolition expert. 

Wrecker cocked his head to the side. "Redneck fishin’?"

"Dynamite. No throwin TNT into the river."

His eyes lit up. “That’s a thing?!” 

“Was really common in my dad’s hometown, at least until it got banned. Some folks still do it though. But you, mister, aren’t allowed to,” I said, poking him in the chest. 

“Aw!”

Hunter grabbed my arm and tugged me away. “C’mon, sooner we get that off him the better.”

Quickly following after the sergeant, I picked up a trot to get away from the skunk spray faster. 

Once we were decently out of range, I slowed to a walk and noticed Hunter had fallen into step beside me. 

"Shadow... there's something I want to ask you."

The fur along my tail bristled. "Is it something I want to answer?" I asked uneasily, his tone worrying me. 

“Maybe…” 

Since when was Hunter uncertain?

“What is it, Sarge?”

He was silent for a minute. “It’s… about the sailors.”

_ No it isn’t. There’s something else _ . Not poking it, I simply cocked my head to the side. 

“How did you survive?”

Odd question. “I mean they were all batshit insane and chaotic bastards who had no concept of  _ gentle _ but most of my friends growing up were dudes with older brothers so I got used to roughhousin’. Hell I was the roughest one half the time.” 

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “How’d you survive a  _ building _ falling on you?”

“Plot armor,” I replied. 

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“No it don’t. But that’s what happened,” I said with a shrug. 

“I’m serious, Shadow,” Hunter said, grabbing my arm again and pulling me to a stop. “How did you survive that?” 

I looked him dead in the eye. “Hunter, if I told you the real reason, you would  _ never _ believe me.”

_ Not that I blame you. I wouldn’t believe me either if I hadn’t lived through it myself.  _

He held my gaze. “Try me,” he said softly. 

I stared into his eyes, tail twitching. Should I tell him? No, he’d think I was messing with him. A natural and logical response. 

“I’ll tell you tomorrow, alright?” I relented. “You’ll probably trust me more then, and won’t think I’m lying.”

His voice remained soft. “I… I wouldn’t think you were lying. Tell me.”

_ You most certainly would think I’m lying.  _

“Hunter… I’ll tell you tomorrow, alright? I promise.” I extended my hand towards him. 

He glanced down at it before shaking it, squeezing slightly. “Tomorrow.”

I nodded and let go of his hand. He held on for a second longer, almost as if he didn’t want to let go, but finally dropped it as well. 

Not looking too closely at that, or the fact he was standing pretty close, I scrambled to find another topic. 

_ That’s not completely off topic but… it’ll work. _

“Oh, uh… there’s one small detail I should probably mention about the truck incident,” I said slowly, scratching the back of my head.

"Did you make it up?"

_ What’s with the hopeful tone? _

"No no, it happened. Got a jagged scar on my lower back from either brick or mortar.” I tugged the back of my shirt up and tried to twist my head around to find it. “There it is.”

“Ah.”

_ Tell me that smell isn’t hormonal…  _ “It wasn’t that it didn’t happen. The detail is..." I hesitated. 

"Yes?"

"The whole gettin' hit by a truck thing... it wasn't their idea. It was mine."

Hunter’s jaw dropped. "You...  _ asked  _ to get hit by a speeder?"

"I knew I'd survive!” I protested. “The building falling on me wasn't planned, but hey. It be like that."

Hunter looked me up and down. “You’re crazy.”

“Comin’ from you? Not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult!” I laughed. 

He chuckled uncertainly. “Definitely not as meek as you originally portrayed. I just didn’t assume you were  _ reckless _ .”

“I assessed the risk before I asked them!” I countered. “We all had a nice long conversation before we settled on that. And I did not plan for Tom to hit me  _ that _ hard.” 

I recalled how  _ horrified  _ he’d been after I hauled myself out of the rubble,  _ profusely _ apologizing that he thought he hit the break when he actually hit the gas pedal. 

Neil and Hobbs, after making sure I wasn’t  _ dead _ , found the whole thing hilarious. Allan just groaned about a new headache to deal with. 

“The driver, Tom, was  _ very _ against the plan. See, I’d known them before but got separated for a bit. We needed to get me on the ship in a way that wouldn’t incriminate me. So I suggested that because otherwise I’d have to injure ‘em to make it look authentic. I didn’t want to hurt the guys, so I suggested they hit me with a truck. Mind you, I didn’t say run me over. Just bump me or something. I’m a good actor, I’d play dead. Anyway, Tom was nervous as hell and meant to hit the break when the truck hit me. Instead his feet got confused, and he floored the accelerator. The look on the poor guy’s face when I drug myself out of the rubble…” I started laughing. 

Hunter blinked, jaw slack. “Hells, Ice, you’re giving Wrecker a run for his money.” 

I grinned and gave an exaggerated bow. “Why thank you, Sarge!” Straightening, I added, "That's one noodle incident solved."

"Noodle incident?" Hunter asked, confusion written all over his face. 

"Yeah, like when there's some event that is never actually explained but you know it’s outlandish as hell just by the name,” I explained as we started walking again. “Example, one guy on the ship, Jaggerman, didn't have eyelids."

Hunter did a double take. "He..." His mouth seemed to be at war with his brain as he tried to form the words. "No eyelids? What in the Nine Corellian Hells...?"

"All they would say was 'that was one hell of a card game' or 'you had to be there',” I said with a shrug. I was partially certain my oc had been there for the event in my original fic series, but time had stolen the memory from me. “That's an example of a Noodle Incident."

"You... have certainly met some interesting people."

"Sailors are always interestin'."

“I see that,” he snorted as we reached Sarah’s door. 

I knocked and soon the woman opened it. 

“Shadow!” Her nose then wrinkled. “Someone get sprayed?”

“The nerd,” I sighed. “Got anything to get the stink out?” 

“I should! Come on in,” she offered. 

“I better not,” Hunter said, and it was then I realized that he was still dripping wet from the knee down and mud caked his boots. 

Sarah waved him off. “It’s a cabin. Get in here.”

I shrugged at Hunter and stepped inside. He cautiously followed me and we waited by the door as Sarah dug around under the sink in her small kitchen. 

“Going to give you some special soap. He needs to shower with it, and throw his armor in or anything that got sprayed. There’s a wash-stall downstairs I use for the Hillguides. Throw him in there.” She glanced back at me. “You’ll probably want to find something else to do while he does that. He’ll need to strip down.”

I shrugged. “Aight. I’ll find something to do. May go scavenge for vittles, not a fish eater.”

“You want some left over venison?” Sarah asked, pulling out a jug of what I assumed to be the soap. 

As Hunter took the jug from Sarah, I pondered on that before nodding. “If you wouldn’t mind sharin’.”

“Not at all!” Sarah smiled, heading to her fridge. 

“What’s in here?” Hunter asked, examining the jug. 

“Something to counteract the chemical agent of the spray,” Sarah explained. “Get that on him as quickly as you can.” 

“Hunter, run ahead,” I said. “I’ll be there shortly!” 

Hunter nodded and hurried out the door. 

I turned back to Sarah as she presented me with the venison. “Thanks, Sarah.”

“You’re welcome,” she smiled. 

“Oh yeah,” I said, suddenly remembering my promise to the Hillguides. “I may or may not have told Whisperin’ Wind and the ones that carried us that I’d negotiate them some special feed for helpin’ us…”

She groaned good naturedly. “Putting me on the hook, huh?” 

I grinned sheepishly. “My bad.” 

Sarah chuckled and shook her head. “Go on, get back to your team.” 

“Heh, they’re not my team.”

_ Much as I wish they were _ . 

“I don’t know, that sergeant has taken a liking to you,” she teased. 

_ Oh I  _ **_wish_ ** _.  _

“I think I just amuse him,” I deflected. 

“Uh huh.”

I squinted. “You know something?”

“Me? What do I know? I’m just an old ex-Jedi who chose to be a recluse,” she said with a mischievous smile. 

“Right. Well thanks for the meat,” I said. 

“Need all your energy for the jungle crossing tomorrow!” 

_ Jungle?! Wait… yeah we are near a magic leak.  _ “Right,” I sighed, heading to the door. “We may leave early in the morning to get a head start. But we’ll say goodbye before we leave.” 

“Please do! See you tomorrow, Shadow!”

“See ya!” I called, heading out the door. 

Looking up at the darkened sky as wind whipped my hair and fur, I groaned. “Jungle… great… just what we need. What kinda monstrosity does this one hide?”

My jungles were  _ always _ full of who knows what. As long as we didn’t run into a Howler, we’d be perfectly fine. 

What were the odds that thing would be on this planet anyways? 

Jogging back to the barn, avoiding the main interior where I heard Wrecker and Tech yelling at each other, I took my venison upstairs. As I reached the top of the stairs, I was greeted with Crosshair cleaning the fish and Hunter pacing back and forth. 

“You good, Sarge?” I asked, the sound of his rapid heartbeat pulsing against my ear fur. It tickled and I twitched my ears to rid myself of the sensation. 

Hunter didn’t stop to look at me. “Yes. Fine.”

Crosshair glanced at me and rolled his eyes. 

“Right…” I said, moving past them both to toss in my venison. Closing the fridge, I stood as close as I dared to the sniper and watched him expertly clean the fish. 

_ He’s good with his hands _ . 

Crosshair glanced at me but didn’t move away, indicating he didn’t mind me in his space. 

I edged closer, seeing where the limit was for future reference. My arm nearly brushed his before he shifted, letting me know I was too close. Taking the hint, I stepped away and the sniper relaxed again. 

I eyed the other fish laid out, noting that only one had a spear hole through it. The rest must have been Crosshair’s catch. “Least y’all didn’t get skunked,” I commented. 

“Tech’s the only one who got sprayed,” Hunter said as Crosshair continued to clean the fish. 

“No, skunked is a term for when you don’t catch any fish. You get skunked.” 

“Why?” Hunter asked. 

“Dunno. It’s one of those weird country terms that literally no one else understands,” I laughed. 

“I see.”

I watched him as he continued to pace. “Jeeze, man, you’re gonna wear a hole in the floor, chill!” 

“Does this when he’s nervous,” Crosshair remarked. 

“Oh yeah?” I asked, looking back at Hunter. “What’s got the stoic sergeant ansty?”

“ _ Nothing _ .” 

I raised an eyebrow at the curt tone and crossed my arms. Let the silence stretch. He’d cave eventually. People always did. 

_ You’re not the only one with a soul stare, Sarge. _

Finally, he sighed. “Shadow… I need to talk to you.” He swallowed. “Alone.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hunter's got a confession to make


	20. Ch. 19 Part 1 Thievery and Tomfoolery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD. OKAY ITS HAPPENING. EVERYBODY STAY CALM! STAY FUCKING CALM!
> 
> Ok with that out of the way! Finally we get a confession! This was a blast to write, honestly XD   
> Before you ask, yes the "orb" mention is on purpose. That's a deliberate creation because fanfic tropes. 
> 
> Hunter would look nice with wet hair. 
> 
> For the second portion of the fic, I added a song in. Why? Because I saw a post where some star wars fans were complaining about self insert writers adding in singing to the fic. I'm a salty motherfucker, and have no tolerance for completely unwarranted hate (its singing???) so I wrote it in to spite those haters. Cause fuck em thats why!   
> Write whatever your little heart desires and tell the haters to take a long walk off a short pier. 
> 
> Anyways. This chapter is 5000+ words (again) so I had to break it in two. The next chapter (20: Toe the Line) is uber fluffy and wonderful and will also probably be broken in two because Ive been sitting on that chapter for like a month. 
> 
> OK NOW ONTO THE STORY
> 
> Content Warning: Mentions of kink, sexual references, strong language (the usual and no it doesnt happen during the confession scene)

With a confused glance at Crosshair, who shrugged, I said, “Uh… What’s it about? I told you I’d explain the sailor thing tomorrow.”

“It’s not that,” Hunter said with a shake of his head. 

“Well, what is it?” I asked, swishing my tail. 

“Come with me and I’ll tell you.” 

I frowned. Why was he being so cryptic and  _ why _ was he suddenly sweating? He’d also begun to tug the hair on the back of his neck, a nervous tic I’d noticed him doing a few times. But why was he nervous? 

“Everything ok, Sarge?” I asked. 

“Yes. I just need to talk with you. Now.”

I blinked at the sharp tone, ears twitching backwards uneasily. 

He tugged harder at his hair. “It’s… it’s just important,” he backpedaled, tone less harsh. 

“Uh… alrightly.” I fished my phone out of my pocket and set it on the table after hanging my pack on the back of the chair. “Hey, Twiggs.”

Crosshair looked up from the fish. 

“I’m leavin’ this here in case the rain starts. Try to hack it at your own risk.”

“Why would I do that?” he asked, moving onto the next fish. 

“Because you’re Crosshair, that’s why,” I retorted. “Besides, that was more of a warnin’ to give to Tech when he gets done.” 

The sniper merely glanced at me before turning his attention back to his task. 

“Cross, do  _ not _ spice them into the Outer Rim,” Hunter growled in warning as he and I headed back towards the stairs.

“Aye, sir,” Crosshair muttered sarcastically. 

Leaving the sniper to his work, I followed the sergeant outside. As he walked through the door, I found myself jogging to keep up. 

“Hey, Shaggy, uh, there’s a storm comin’,” I reminded him, a rumble of thunder emphasizing my words. “And not to play into the ‘cats hate water’ stereotype, but I don’t wanna get wet.” 

“It’ll hold,” he said, voice taunt. 

_ Damn, son, what got you wound tight?  _

As I followed behind him, I could see tense muscles outlined through his blacks. Damn he  _ really _ was agitated about  _ something _ . “You good? You’re actin’ more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin’ chairs!” I remarked as he led me to the river bank and through the trees away from where Tech had been sprayed. “Got me kinda worried here.”

Still no response, just his heartbeat pounding ever so harder against my ear fur. 

Something  _ big _ was on his mind, and I had a feeling I was the focal point. 

That piqued both my curiosity… and anxiety. 

I wasn’t just dealing with some dude. This was a soldier, a sergeant no less, of an unorthodox and unrivaled commando squad. It had to take a great deal to rattle him to this degree. 

The tail along my fur bristled and a small voice in the back of mind warned that I should have brought a gun. Hunter wouldn’t hurt me, I was, ironically, 99% certain, but his behavior was nothing short of erratic. Given his usually calm demeanor… well it was doing me a concern. 

Finally he stopped, his heart pounding hard as he turned to face me. He took a deep breath and when he spoke, his words rushed out so fast I barely caught them. “You stole something of mine.”

I stiffened. He brought me out here to accuse me of  _ theft _ ?! “The fuck? I didn’t do shit!” I replied, ears flat and tail lashing. “The hell I steal from you?”

“My heart.” 

“I-” Words caught in my throat as his words registered. 

**_Nani_ ** _?!  _

Jaw hanging open and tail falling against the ground, I stared at Hunter with wide eyes. 

Wait. 

Did I hear that right? 

No.

Yes? 

Maybe?

What? 

Hunter looked at me expectantly as he shifted his weight from foot to foot, uncertainty clear on his tattooed face. That quickly changed to shock as I started to fall backwards. 

“Shadow, what are you doing?!” he yelped, lunging forward and wrapping an arm around my back to catch me.

Brain trying to process, I blinked before grinning nervously and pointing finger guns up at him. “Fallin’ for you!” I immediately grimaced and smacked my hand over my face. “Ah hell, sounded better in my head.”

Silence stretched between us before a low noise caught my attention. That low noise soon revealed itself to be repressed laughter moments before the sound exploded full force from the sergeant. 

My ears flattened. “Hey, don’t laugh!” 

“I’m not laughin’  _ at  _ you!” Hunter assured me, a cautious yet excited smile on his face. “I’m just glad I’m not pinin’ after someone who doesn’t feel the same.”

“Oh trust me that’s the opposite of the problem here.” I slapped my hand over my mouth then covered my face with both hands. “Fuck’s sake…” 

“So you  _ do _ have a crush on me as well?”

I looked at him through my fingers. “No shit, sherlock.”

“So that explains the blush when I speared the fish,” he teased as he helped me straighten up. 

I smacked his chest. “Jackass! You did that on purpose to get me riled?”

Hunter pulled me closer, arm tightening around my back. “But you enjoyed it.”

Heart hammering against my ribs, I chuckled nervously and looked away. “Well yes, it’s amusing.” 

_ Oh we are  _ **_close_ ** _ close.  _

“Amusin’, hmm?” he asked, voice full of smug teasing. 

I glared at him, fighting down a smile as heat rose to my face. “You, sir, are a piece of work.”

“That you fell for.”

I placed both hands on his chest and shoved him away playfully. “Don’t be all suave with me, buster. You’re not the only one who can smell fear, and I know you’re internally screamin’ just as much as me,” I replied, jabbing an accusatory finger at him. 

He laughed again, the sound ringing through the trees and widening the smile on my face. 

“You’ve got a nice laugh, Sarge.”

“And you have a nice smile, Ice,” he replied with another smug grin. 

Warmed by the compliment, I chuckled. “So we doin’ one of those awkward hugs that people do when they profess their feelings? Followed by an awkward break apart?”

He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. “Do you want an awkward hug followed by an awkward break apart?”

“Hell no, I hate awkward but…” My tail twitched as I scratched the back of my neck. “You aren’t the huggy type.”

“I thought you weren’t either,” he replied slowly and shrugged. “Guess we’re both wrong.”

_ Hug him! Hug the Sarge!  _

Oh I wanted to. So,  _ so  _ badly. But… I didn’t know where he stood with that...

“I feel obligated to warn you I have cracked ribs with my hugs,” I said uncertainly. 

“So has Wrecker.” He opened his arms. “Come here.”

I stepped forward into his outstretched arms which immediately wrapped around me and squeezed. Returning the strong embrace, a loud purr rumbled in my throat. 

Two. 

_ Two _ guys I had crushes on  _ both _ liked me back! 

Pure joy flooded my chest and my arms tightened around Hunter. He was a  _ warm _ boy! Kinda squishy, but definitely solid. The perfect hugger. Would probably be great to cuddle with too! 

_ This has gotta be one of the  _ **_best_ ** _ days of my life.  _

Wrecker confessed he had a crush,  _ Hunter _ confessed he had a crush, and even though the day started badly I was now on level ground with Crosshair. 

But…

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Shaggy,” I ventured, pulling back to meet his gaze. “But… why?”

He looked confused, his arms still around my back. “What do you mean  _ why _ ?”

“Why do you have a crush? I am a potato.”

Rich brown eyes held mine before a smirk tugged his lips. “Good thing I like potatoes,” he replied, reaching under my chin and lifting it slightly. 

It was my turn to laugh despite the red across my cheeks. “Oh, you smooth motherfucker.”

He laughed again. “Really want to know?” he asked, dropping his hands and taking a step back to look me over. “You’re genuine. You get along with my team.” 

“Most of them,” I countered, Crosshair coming to mind. 

“ _ All _ of them,” Hunter corrected. “Cross isn’t one to warm up fast, but he respects you. Not many people we’ve met reach that level with him.” He paused. “But besides that, you  _ care _ . You care about us not as assets or even as soldiers, but as  _ men _ . Humans.”

The last one was a bit of a low bar to reach, but nevertheless...

My smile softened and I rested my hands on his shoulders. “Of course, Hunter. You’re no less human than me.” I glanced back at my tail. “Figuratively speakin’, of course.” 

He followed my gaze to the furry extension of my spine. “Couldn’t work up the courage before, but I have to say your tail really is beautiful.”

“Looks better when it’s brushed and not full of burrs, twigs, leaves, mud, and who knows what else.” I squinted at it as I dropped my hands from his shoulders. “Probably smells kinda funny too.”

He hummed in thought and stepped to my side before reaching down with a glance at me to make sure it was ok. 

I lifted the tail into his hands, curious as to what he was doing. 

He picked some leaves off it then a chunk of briar. “There. Now it’s only mud and who knows what else.”

“How thoughtful of you, Shaggy,” I replied, a warm fuzzy feeling settling in my chest as I whisked my tail from his hands. “Glad to know you like my tail.”

“You know,” he said, voice lowering. “That’s not the only thing I like about you.”

_ Welp, how do I respond to  _ **_that_ ** _?  _

I made to reply but a drop of rain landed squarely on the tip of my nose. Going cross eyed to glare at the offending droplet before directing my anger towards the sky. “Hey! Tryin’ to have a moment, rain.” 

I received a droplet in the eye for my grievance.

Pressing my palm against my eye with a hiss of pain, I sighed and looked at Hunter with my functional orb. “What say we skeddadle back to the barn before we get soaked?” 

The patter against the leaves grew heavier as I finished, a rumble of thunder accompanying the steadily growing roar of rain. 

“Or maybe skeddadle back before we get  _ more _ soaked,” I sighed. 

“Good idea,” Hunter chuckled, and we took off at a sprint back to the barn. 

This quickly devolved into an unspoken race, which the far more conditioned space marine would have won had his boot not slipped in the mud and almost sent him to the ground. 

Panting as we stood under the overhang in front of the door, I teased, “So much for the sure footed sergeant.” 

_ Wet hair is a nice look on him _ . 

“I had a distraction,” he shot back, grinning at me from under dripping bangs.

Straightening, I laughed. “Flattered, Sarge.” 

“Ah, looks like I keep my winning streak.”

I shoved him then shook myself to get rid of what water I could. 

Hunter held up a hand to shield his face. “Hey!”

“Oh, you’re already wet,” I snorted, picking up my tail and wringing it out before heading inside. The moment I hit the top step, I heard the click of a blaster ready to fire. 

Crosshair, silver hair still partially damp and sticking up in some places, stared down the sights of his pistol at me before slowly lowering it. Dressed in just his blacks now, I guessed he must have just recently gotten out of the shower. 

Flicking my tail, I protested, “Didn’t you hear us talkin’ outside?” 

He shrugged. “Habit.”

_ Uh huh. You want an excuse to blast me, vindictive popsicle stick.  _ I then stared at my phone, which rested in Tech’s hand. “Are you tryin’ to jailbreak my phone?” I demanded. 

“No!” he defended, then admitted, “Maybe.”

I rolled my eyes at Hunter and shot a glare towards Crosshair as he dried his hair with a hand towel. “Hey, Twiggs, I said defend my phone.”

“Not my problem.” 

“Ain’t you a helpful henry?” I huffed, walking over to yoink my phone from Tech. 

“How did you know I would try to get into your phone?” Tech asked in amazement. 

“‘Cause you’re a curious little hackerman, that’s why,” I replied, plucking it from his grip. 

“Who are those people on your comm device?” Tech asked. 

I looked over the lockscreen and a soft, bittersweet smile crossed my face. “Some characters of mine. Scarlett, Thatcher, Skipper.”

“They look happy.”

_ Don’t remind me… _

“Well yeah. They’re reuniting after…” I grimaced. “The two dudes are, em, deceased.” 

“Deceased?” Tech exclaimed. 

“I’m a mean mom to my beans, ok?” I sighed as I dropped my phone in my bag. “My dark heart craves angst.”

“Your heart is far from dark, Ice,” Hunter remarked. 

_ You ain’t seen what I’m capable of, Sarge. I can’t even read their death scene, it hurts me so damn bad. And I wrote it!  _

I glared goodnaturedly at him before turning my attention to Tech. “Anyways, Techie, I’d advise against hackin’ into my phone. May find somethin’ you don’t wanna find.” I thought for a moment. “Or maybe you do.”

_ Tech strikes me a closet kinkster. Is that even a term? Is now. _

Eyes filled with innocent, blissfully ignorant curiosity, Tech asked, “Why? What do you have on there?”

I winked at him. “Haven’t unlocked that information yet, Techie.”

“What information?” Wrecker asked, emerging into the kitchen clad in his blacks. Or perhaps some sort of sleepwear variant, for they looked looser and the sleeves had been slashed at the shoulders. He must have just showered. 

“What Shadow hides on her phone!” Tech supplied. 

“Oh?” Wrecker asked, smirking at me. He wiggled his brows. “Whatcha got on there, Squeak?” 

“Like I told Techie, you haven’t unlocked that information yet,” I countered, crossing my arms. 

“Aw! You can tell ol’ Wrecker,” he teased, coming over and nudging me. 

“Perhaps I shall. When you unlock that information.” I looked over at Hunter. “You want dibs on shower first? I’ll probably be a while.”

“Why?”

I lifted my tail. 

“Right,” he mumbled, digging in his pack for himself some blacks before slipping past me to the shower. He nudged me with a soft, almost boyish smile on the way past, winking at me before disappearing down the hall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orb  
> Fuckin...  
> ORB
> 
> Also! You can see the image for my phone lockscreen AND its speedpaint on my tumblr @ShadowsStoryStuff!


	21. Ch. 19 Part 2 Thievery and Tomfoolery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dont touch my food

Smiling, I watched him leave before heading to heat up the venison steak. I was  _ starving _ , I realized, having had almost zero food after retrieving a half drowned branch, learning a sentient tank had a crush on me, trekking up one mountain, trekking down the other side, riding nearly full speed across a field, dealing with a semi-repenant branch, going fishing, dealing with a skunk sprayed nerd, then finally learning that a certain Sergeant Shaggy McStabby had a crush on me. 

_ How did you  _ **_literally_ ** _ forget lunch?  _ **_How_ ** _? I mean you had some strawberries but that ain’t enough! _

I impatiently watched the damn chunk of meat slowly rotate, mocking me as the timer seemed to drag on forever.  _ Finally _ , after what had to be millenia, the timer beeped. Ripping the steak from the microwave and sitting at the counter barstool, I nearly forwent utensils and just devoured it like a feral alley cat before stopping myself. No, if I ate too quickly bad things would befall me and that was less than desirable. But it was an  _ agonizingly  _ slow process of cutting it up. 

“Whatcha got there, Squeak?” Wrecker asked, reaching for my plate. 

A fierce snarl erupted from my throat as I guarded my dinner, pointing the knife at him. 

Wrecker quickly snatched his hand back to his chest as Tech sent a startled glance my way and Crosshair stared at me like I’d gone rabid. 

Hunter’s yell echoed down the hall. “What in the galaxy was  _ that _ ?!” 

“I uh… tried to touch Squeak’s food!” Wrecker said, tucking his hand closer to his chest. 

“Never touch a martial artist’s vittles!” I retorted with a territorial hiss. 

“Guess not,” Crosshair remarked dryly, getting up and heading to the table. When I shot a warning look his way, he rolled his eyes. “Not after yours.” 

Only when I saw him grab a fish and head back to the couch to eat it did I relax, although I kept an eye on the tank behind me. 

“So, Squeaky,” Wrecker ventured, careful to stay away from my food. “Where were you and the Sarge?” 

My mood immediately went from hostile to sheepish. “Well, Wrecker… guess my crack-headed and erratic shenanigans has somehow gotten  _ two _ of you to fall for me,” I said, focusing on my steak. 

The hearty slap on my back nearly sent me into the counter in front of me. 

“Congrats, Squeaky!” he laughed. “You won over the Sarge!” 

“Finally,  _ di’kut  _ admitted it,” Crosshair muttered, putting seasoning of some sort on his fish. 

“You knew?” I asked, tail flicking back and forth. 

“I’m the  _ opposite _ of blind,” came the dry remark. 

“He also was not particularly subtle about it,” Tech remarked, heading to tinker with his helmet.

“So, what’d he say? How’d you react?” Wrecker asked, leaning on the counter with a large grin on his face. 

Closely guarding my plate, I wagged a finger at him. “That’s nonya.”

“What’s nonya?”

“Nonya bis’nes,” I smirked. 

His grin turned downright sinister as he coiled like a cobra, ready to lunge forward and presumably get me in some sort of headlock. “Ol’ Wreck is great at gettin’ info outta people.”

_ Begone, thoughts! Go be kinky somewhere else!  _ “And Shadow is good at goin’ feral and maulin’,” I replied with a dark grin of my own as I readied myself to fend him off. 

“Go to the bedroom if you’re goin’ to flirt. Can’t eat in this environment,” Crosshair hissed our way. 

Wrecker snorted. “You’re just jealous, Cross!”

“Jealous?” Crosshair looked me over. “Hardly.”

Despite my best efforts, my tail subtly bristled and my ears twitched backwards. “Hey, my self esteem issues are bad enough without  _ that _ look!” I said, tone joking but tinged with a hint of genuine hurt. 

Wrecker threw an arm around me. “I for one think you’re stunnin’, Squeak.”

I rolled my shoulders under the warm weight of the muscular limb. “Thanks, Wrecker.” I poked his ribs with my elbow. “Now shoo, lemme eat.” 

“Sure I can’t have a piece-”

A hiss interrupted him. 

He held up his hands and backed away before going after the cooked fish. 

I looked over at Tech as he sat on the floor fiddling with his helmet. Thankfully he’d cleaned his armor too so the skunk stink was just a bad memory. “Hey, Techie, should be some strawberries left in the fridge.”

“I’ll eat later,” he mumbled, preoccupied. 

Shrugging and leaving the nerd to his work, I finished off the steak and started to clean the plate as Hunter stepped out of the shower.

His sleepwear blacks had also been slashed just like Wrecker’s, but higher up the sleeve and his pants had been cut short. He held his bandana in his hand, leaving his dried hair free to fluff out. 

_ Wavy haired boi. _

“Alright, Ice. All yours.” 

I twitched my ears. “Thanks Sarge. No one else needs to get in right? The next trail shelter doesn’t have a shower so I’ll be in there a bit.” 

A chorus of no’s and a grunt from Crosshair told me I was free to go, and I grabbed my pack before I left to wash off. 

The hot water on my back was  _ immensely _ satisfying, as was seeing the dirt wash away down the drain. My tail was a task and a half, and more than once I knocked the shampoo bottle across the room at high speed. A quick “nothing broke!” kept the boys away luckily, and after what had to be an hour I finally finished. 

Drying off and finding a hair drier for my hair and tail, I changed into my own sleep clothes; black basketball shorts with a broad red stripe down the sides and a black T-shirt. I usually slept in a tank top but given I was sharing the bed with Tech…

No need to cause trouble. 

I came back into the living room to find Crosshair and Hunter locked in a rather intense game of cards, Sabbac maybe, while Wrecker lounged on the couch and Tech still sat tinkering, this time on Wrecker’s helmet.

Wrecker looked up as I walked up and his eyes widened. “Woah! Your tail is fluffy!” 

Hunter lifted his eyes from his cards at this and sent a grin my way. “You were right, Icy.” 

“It’s a frizzy mess, you two. I ain’t brushed it yet,” I said, heading to sit beside Wrecker on the couch. 

He looked a bit sheepish before asking, “Can I brush it?”

I thought about that for a moment before saying, “Sure. Just stay a foot from the base.”

“Thanks, Squeak!” he exclaimed as I handed him a brush from my bag and shifted to let him reach the tail easier. 

“ _ Well what can I say, except, you’re welcome _ !” I sang with a laugh. For years I’d been super self-conscious about my singing voice, but at this point I’d accepted it was bad and sang anyway. Felt good to do. 

Wrecker’s eyes widened as Hunter sent a glance my way. “You can sing?!” the demolition expert exclaimed. 

I had to laugh again. “Not well, but that’s never stopped me from doing something before!”

“Can you sing a song you know?” he asked, grinning ear to ear with child-like enthusiasm. 

“I  _ can _ but ain’t sure y’all want screwdrivers in your ears…”

“Naw, c’mon! You sound great!” Wrecker protested. 

“No complaints from me,” Hunter added. 

I flicked my ears. “Well, guess I can! Just remember, y’all asked for this.” I frowned thoughtfully. “What to sing, what to sing…” 

“Want somethin’ dark.”

I twisted my head around and stared in shock at the speaker. “Is that a  _ song request _ from the sardonic sniper _ himself? _ ” 

Brown eyes narrowed as he rolled the toothpick to the other side of his mouth. “Want a twist, too.”

“Complex as ever,” I retorted, rolling my eyes. “You’re a hard man to please,  _ ram’ser _ .”

He gave me a faint smirk in return. “Too hard for you, sweetheart?”

I mirrored his smirk. “Hardly. Alrighty, Mister Crosshair. Your wish is my command. One dark song with a twist, comin’ right up. This is a personal favorite of mine called  _ In All My Dreams I Drown _ .”

“Perfect,” Crosshair remarked. 

I rolled my eyes once more and began, “ _ The ship, it swayed,  _ [ _ heave ho, heave ho _ ](https://genius.com/Jessica-lowndes-and-terrance-zdunich-in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-lyrics#note-18123400) _ , o _ [ _ n the dark and stormy blue _ ](https://genius.com/Jessica-lowndes-and-terrance-zdunich-in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-lyrics#note-18123368) _. And I held tight to the Captain's might, as he pulled up his  _ [ _ trews _ ](https://genius.com/Jessica-lowndes-and-terrance-zdunich-in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-lyrics#note-18115863) .”

_ Oh rad, the self insert gave me functional vocal cords. _

" _ You haven't slept, heave ho, he said i _ [ _ n many suns and moons. _ ](https://genius.com/Jessica-lowndes-and-terrance-zdunich-in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-lyrics#note-18123413) _ Oh, I will sleep when we reach shore, and pray we get there soon. He said, Now hush love, here's your gown. There's the bed, lantern's down. But I don't want to go to sleep; in all my dreams, I drown _ .”

Wrecker’s hand had gone still on my tail and even Tech had glanced up.

“ _ The Captain howled, Heave ho, heave ho, and tied me up with sheets. A storm is brewing in the South, it's time to go to sleep. His berth, it rocks, heave ho, heave ho, the ocean gnashed and moaned. Like  _ [ _ Jonah _ ](https://genius.com/Jessica-lowndes-and-terrance-zdunich-in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-lyrics#note-16679383) _ will be swallowed whole, and spat back teeth and bones. He said, Now hush love, here's your gown. There's the bed, lantern's down. But I don't want to go to sleep; in all my dreams, I drown _ ."

_ Oh this part might get a reaction... _

" _ Captain! Captain! I will do your chores. I will warm your cot at night, and mop your cabin floors. Scold me, hold me. I'll be yours to keep. The only thing I beg of you, don't make me go to sleep _ ."

I turned my gaze to Crosshair.  _ Here’s your dark and twisted segment, Twiggs _ . 

“ _ The sky it flashed, heave ho, heave ho, his pillow dulled to the brink. The curtains ran between my legs as we began to sink _ .”

His eyes widened slightly before narrowing again.

“ _ I closed my eyes, heave ho, heave ho, as the ship was rent and fell. Eddies in the water headed to the mouth of Hell _ .”

I allowed a look of panic to come over my face as I looked away and unfocused my eyes.

" _Hush now, hush love, here's your gown. There's the bed, lantern's down._ [_I'm begging you please wake me up_](https://genius.com/Jessica-lowndes-and-terrance-zdunich-in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-lyrics#note-18123379) _. In all my dreams I...._ "

I went silent, eyes wide with terror before grinning at Crosshair. “How was that?” 

He chuckled. “It will do.”

“I’ll take it,” I replied with a shrug and a smile. 

“Where’s the rest?” Tech demanded, leaning forward. 

I grinned darkly. “That’s where it cuts, Techie.”

His face fell. “That’s morbid!”

“Exactly!” I laughed. 

“That why they call you Shadow?” Hunter asked from the armchair. 

“No, I’m silent as a shadow and can take you out before you know I’m there,” I snickered. “Lost count of how many people I’ve snuck up on, intentionally or not. One dude said he thought I teleported once!”

“Can you?” Tech asked. 

I shook my head. “No, that’s a Rageryan ability.”

“Hold on,” Hunter demanded. “Trevor could  _ teleport _ if he wanted?”

“Yeah. Wears a Rag out to the point of unconsciousness, they can’t do it through titanium, it’s only planetary, and they have to know the  _ exact _ coordinates of a place to do so. But they can teleport. Some can open portals if that’s their power.”

Tech grabbed his vambrace and started typing. “Each Rageryan has a special power?”

“In extremely rare cases, they can have two. Or, if they have the Stealer ability, they can copy another Rag’s power.” I frowned. “Or was it Mimic… I don’t remember.” 

“What kind of powers do Rageryans have?” It was Hunter who asked. 

“Without a list I couldn’t tell you all of ‘em. But it’s things like Animal Speak, Beast Release, Tracker, invisibility, technopathy, some elemental powers, dream control, portal generation, ect. It’s far more varied than Alphian powers, but we have more individually.”

“Beast Release?” Wrecker echoed, brushing my tail again. 

“Mid tier verging into high tier. Basically it’s a massive power charge up. They get stronger, bigger, and feel no pain. Side effect is a weird red eyes thing, plus higher aggression.” 

“That sounds awesome!” Wrecker exclaimed. 

_ Acey doesn’t really think so… _ “It’s got its ups and downs, just like anything else,” I replied thoughtfully. “Usually Polars seem to get it more than Equatorials, which makes sense since it would benefit Polars in their environment more.”

“Oh! So powers are prevalent based on environmental factors?” Tech asked. 

“Any Rag can have any power, but some powers show up more in Polars while others in Equatorials.”

Tech nodded. “I see! Where do Rageryans live?”

“Depends on the subspecies. Polars, which is what Trev has in him, are a very hardy species from the far northern regions. Evergreen forests, tundra, ice sheets, and mountains. Equatorials are, of course, closer to the equator and are leaner and smaller. Built for dense jungles or the fringes of humid savannahs.”

“Speaking of jungle,” Hunter spoke up. “What should we expect for the jungle tomorrow?” 

“Honestly?” I sighed. “The only thing predictable about that jungle trek is its unpredictability. See, the normal trail loops back around the cove from here. We’re heading out on the extreme hiker trail. Anything and everything could happen. As long as we don’t meet a Howler, we’re good.”

Tech straightened. “What’s a Howler?”

“Wolf-reptile hybrid with big nasty teeth.” I mimicked a bite with my own teeth. “Over five meters long not counting the upper body.”

“Upper body?” Wrecker asked, working on the white tip of my tail.

I flicked my ears. “You know what a taur is?”

While Wrecker shook his head, Tech nodded. “I’ve heard of them,” the nerd began. “The lower body is animalistic but where the head should be a humanoid torso is grafted resulting in a strange beast.”

“Yeah, that,” I replied. “It’s got a covering of shaggy fur along its dorsal side, plus scutes protruding from its back. The underbelly, face, and tail are scaly. It’s a nasty critter, but the likelihood of it being on this planet is low.”

“But the odds aren’t zero?” Tech asked. 

“Ha,” I sarcastically laughed as Wrecker finished my tail. “When magic leaks get involved, the odds are never zero for anything.”

“All the more reason to get some rest tonight,” Hunter said. “I’ll take first watch after we finish this game.” 

“I’ll find the sheets for the couch,” I offered.

“Already done,” Crosshair spoke up, indicating the pile of sheets I didn’t see earlier. 

“Well, guess that’s covered. Covers. Heh.” I snorted with laughter. 

“Is your brain a pumpkin yet?” Tech asked.

Hunter stared at him as if he’d grown two heads. “Is her brain a  _ what _ ?”

“If it’s really late my brain turns into a pumpkin aka I go off the rails,” I explained. 

“And she becomes very honest!” 

“Coulda left that part out,” I sighed.

“Honest, huh?” Wrecker chuckled, grinning at me. 

“I think it’s time I make a tactical retreat,” I announced, standing and yoinking the brush from his grip. “Thanks for brushin’ my tail, though.” 

“What, tired of us already?” Wrecker laughed. 

“Nah man. Just… I’m an introvert. I need alone time or my social batteries die and I turn into Crosshair,” I explained with a shrug before looking to Tech. “Take your time with that helmet.”

“He will anyways,” Hunter remarked. 

“Figured so,” I chuckled. “Just lettin’ him know regardless.”

“Thank you, Shadow.” Suddenly Tech’s brows furrowed. “But didn’t you say last night that if a man and woman slept in the same bed people would assume they’d had intimate relations with each other?”

“ _ Please! _ ” Wrecker groaned, startling us both. “Just say  _ ‘fuck’ _ ! Once! Just once! I have a bet with Crosshair to win!” 

“You  _ what _ ?!” Hunter demanded, glaring between him and Crosshair. 

Crosshair shrugged. “Kid’s got to harden up.” 

I slowly backed into the hallway. “Imma leave whatever  _ this _ is.” I gestured at the four of them. “As for that, Techie, I’m too tired to care. Also lowkey wanted to see your reaction to me saying that last night.” 

The nerd looked downright  _ betrayed _ , eyes wide with hurt and mouth hanging open. 

“Aw, c’mon Techie!” I laughed. “It was an experiment! For science!” 

“That was an unethical experiment on an unwilling test subject,” he pouted. 

“Don’t look at me like that, man. You looked like a kicked puppy!”

His pout immediately shifted into a grimace of anger. “I am  _ not _ a puppy!”

“Sure, Techie,” I laughed. “Sure.” I looked around at the men, eyes lingering on each one but mainly Hunter and Wrecker. “Sarge. Wreck. Twiggs. I bid thee, good day.” With a two fingered salute, I disappeared down the hall. 

  
  



	22. Ch 20 Toe the Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.  
> Originally this chapter and the next were a single chapter.  
> Then it hit 6000+ words  
> Now it is two chapters. 
> 
> Descriptions may get a bit brief for the next few months, started college back and have little to no time (24 Spanish assignments a week 'cmon) so chapters will definitely slow as well. II'd say more but honestly I'll just link this post so you can read it or ignore the update: https://shadowsstorystuff.tumblr.com/post/639807297871331328/update-post  
> My comments will also be a lot slower
> 
> For this chapter. I'll leave the actual content a surprise but I will say that yep I'm a military child. My grandfather actually fought in WW2 in the Pacific area so that's a fun fact. He also worked on a cargo ship when he was younger (like 18, up and left KY and headed down to florida then jumped on a ship) but I didn't learn this until a few years after his death and after I got into cargo ships. Kinda funny.
> 
> Anyway. Enjoy some boys!  
> And yes, I added a Sokka line for Hunter 
> 
> Content Warning: Some sexual references, blood/needle talk (dammit Tech), fluff (lots of that).

Finally. 

It took Tech a good few hours to download it all, but finally it was done. He’d managed to pull the day's footage from each of his teammates’ helmets and transferred them to his datapad. Now he could cross reference Shadow from all four perspectives. 

It was strictly research based, no other reason. He wanted to analyze the way her species moved, not Shadow herself. 

Tired of Crosshair growling at him to go to sleep, Tech retreated to the room he’d be sharing with Shadow. 

Would the woman still be awake? The light was still on. 

Tech slipped inside.

Shadow, scribbling in a notebook full of flimsi at a small desk in the corner, jumped and pulled out some type of corded listening device from both ears. “Oh, it’s you.” She shut the notebook and quickly slipped that and her phone plus the listening device into her bag. “I was just about to finish up and head to bed.”

Why had she hidden the notebook so quickly?

He squinted at her. “What were you writing?”

If she’d been drafting a letter to the separatists, he would need to inform Hunter right away. Not that he assumed she’d been plotting to betray them, but in war you couldn’t be too careful.

Yet logic overruled suspicion. Should Shadow be trying to get in contact with the Seps, she wouldn’t be using flimsi and a pencil. 

“Are you drawing?” he asked, tone less harsh. 

“Close. Just drafting some stories,” she replied, standing and stretching. 

Once more Tech noticed how she now stood taller than him in this form, her broad shoulders easily rivaling his own. 

He wondered how a hug from her would feel before quickly banishing the thought to the back of his mind.

“Why did you hide it so quickly?”

Ears twitched as she scratched the back of her head. “Eh… I’m a bit self conscious of my stories. Bad feedback in the past sticks with you.”

“I would be interested to see what you write about,” he ventured. “I’m sure it’s good, you’re very creative and imaginative.”

“Eh, I’ll show you some more later, ok?” she deflected, jumping to the bed and arranging herself on the side away from the door. “There, I know you’d probably want the side closest to the escape route.”

He stiffened, suspicions returning full force. “Do you plan to attack me?”

“What?” she asked, ears flicking backwards. “No. I’m just the daughter of a veteran, and know a lot of vets, and they like being close to escape routes. Habit.”

_ She’s a military child? And how could you doubt her so easily from a single action? She’s done nothing to suggest betrayal!  _ “What did your parent do?” he asked, sitting on the side of the bed. 

“Dad flew fighter jets. His dad served in the navy and in hard combat where he lost half his hearin’. Then there’s me, an anxious wreck who is claustrophobic, scared of heights, and can’t make a damn phone call…” she sighed. “Least I’m creative.”

_ She really should give herself more credit.  _ “You’re a good fighter yourself,” Tech remarked. 

“Ok I do have that going for me. And I’m good with weapons,” she mused, creating a small nest of sorts for herself. She looked up. “You want a barrier or nah? I don’t mind either way.”

His heart quickened. “I am fine with no barrier.”

She squinted. “Techie,” she ventured. “You ain’t gonna try to steal my blood, right?” 

_ I should after you ran a non-authorized experiment on me last night _ . 

But the last thing he wanted to do was get this woman agitated. If he tried to take it against her will, he knew he would be facing an arsenal of sharp teeth and claws, not to mention a very powerful punch or kick. Besides, to do that to her… 

Allies came easily to Tech. Friends… not so much. His brothers either intimidated a possible friend away, or those that weren’t intimidated could not even remotely follow his explanations and contribute to his scientific conversations. 

Shadow was neither intimidated by the rowdier members of the squad nor was she unable to follow him on his rambles. 

Making an enemy out of the one person able to even remotely match him in intellect would prove a disastrous move, and Tech had no desire to deal with the fallout of that for multiple reasons. 

Firstly, given that both Wrecker  _ and _ Tech’s CO had a crush on her, it would end badly for him. Secondly… despite his issues with making true friends, he believed that Shadow counted as a friend. Whether or not she felt the same about him was a different matter, but evidence pointed to her viewing him in such a way. 

Friends… yes, they were friends. 

And friends didn’t take each other’s blood without permission.

“No, I won’t do that to you,” he relented before quickly adding, “Unless, of course, you were to-”

“That’s a hard pass from me,” she chuckled nervously, tail sweeping back and forth across the bed uneasily. 

“May I ask why you are so fearful of needles?” Tech asked. “I would do my utmost to ensure it would be as painless as possible-”

“Tech,” she cut him off, warning slipping into her tone as the tip of her tail twitched. “I almost pass out when blood gets drawn.” A few moments passed in silence before she continued, “I enjoy bein’ around you, Techie. I really do. I love hearin’ what you have to say about science. But you’ve got to stop this vampire stuff, ok?”

Tech eyed her low ears, narrowed pupils, and twitching tail, then looked to the dark claws now covering her standard nails. 

Agitation, nervousness, even perhaps fear…

Because of him. 

That… he didn’t want Shadow to  _ fear _ him! Or even mistrust him!

“I shall drop it,” he relented sadly. To lose a research opportunity… 

Yet Shadow’s look of relief as she relaxed made it worth it. Smiling, she said, “Thanks, Tech.” 

Trying to swallow down the nervous energy building in his chest, Tech just nodded. 

Shadow’s head cocked to the side, ears wiggling back and forth, and Tech felt certain she could hear his erratic heartbeat which only worsened the longer she stared at him. She kept calling Hunter’s stern gaze a ‘soul stare’ but hers didn’t exactly fall short of that description. And she wasn’t even angry with him right now! 

The icy fire in those eyes when he’d confronted her at the river after her altercation with Crosshair would forever remain in his memory. 

And his saved recordings. 

“You ok?” she asked, head tilting the other way. Maker, was she cute when she did that. 

“Yes,” he quickly said, grabbing his datapad and holding it up. “I’ll… be reading over this for a few.”

She didn’t need to know he wanted to rewatch the footage he recorded of her jumping over the log in the field. 

She shrugged and laid down with her back to him. “Alright. Night, Techie.”

“Goodnight,” he managed, burying his nose into his datapad. 

Yet as the minutes dragged on, Shadow continued to show signs of restlessness, twisting and turning back and forth. Was it the light? His presence?

Finally he turned to her as she turned to face away from him again. “Shadow? Is everything alright?”

She flinched, much to his surprise. “Shoot… sorry Tech. I’m tryin’ to be still, I swear.”

The pain in her voice confused the engineer. Had he said something wrong? He hadn’t triggered another episode had he? They really were painful to watch, seeing a bright and enthusiastic spirit shrivel up and die before his eyes as she retreated into herself. “It is alright, but are you well?”

“Eh, used to noise when I sleep,” she mumbled, ears flat as she avoided his gaze.

He could remedy that easily! “What if I were to talk about different species I’ve encountered? Crosshair tells me I can put anyone to sleep.”

She continued to avoid his gaze. “Don’t wanna be rude and fall asleep on ya though, especially if it’s something you’re passionate about.” 

Her concern was touching. To go to such lengths assure him she cared what he had to say… 

Hoping she’d look at him again, he rested an uncertain hand on her shoulder. “I don’t mind.” He smiled. “I can continue where I left off tomorrow from wherever you fall asleep at.”

Uncertain eyes looked worriedly up at him, her ears low against her skull. “You sure?”

He nodded, hyper-aware of his heart pounding against his ribs. “Of course!”

A smile crept across her own face. Her arm shifted before she hesitantly rested her hand over his and squeezed. Her hand was warm and slightly rough.“Then I’d love for you to share what you know.”

Beaming at her and thrilled to have someone willing to listen, he waited until she got settled again and began detailing the different species across the galaxy. Rancors, tookas, nexus, aiawas, banthas. Their habitats, diets, morphology, everything. 

On and on he went, caught up in sharing what he knew until he realized Shadow had fallen asleep, breath deep and even as she lay still. Even her tail had stopped moving.

A soft smile spread across his face as he trailed off. She really was something. So smart yet bold. Fierce yet compassionate. Granted, she was plagued by a rather unpredictable temper and the occasional chaotic episode, but she remained level-headed in most cases. An intricate and exciting puzzle to solve. 

Slipping his goggles off, he turned off the light and settled down into the covers with his back a few inches from Shadow’s.

But he soon realized that  _ he _ was the one plagued by restlessness now.

He couldn't sleep. 

How could he sleep? 

Shadow may not have been a furnace, but her back only inches away from his made his skin itch. The soft growl she made as she shifted to get more comfortable, tail brushing his legs, stirred something in his chest and he fought against the urge to roll over and pull her closer.

Tech would never admit it, but the ease with which Wrecker interacted with her... he was deeply envious of their laidback relationship. He desperately wanted to be able to talk to her in a relaxed manner, to have her lean against him, for her to playfully wrestle with him... 

Then there was her and Hunter. Their interactions were so natural, so comfortable. Full of playful pushing and shoving just like her and Wrecker. Sarcastic quips and comebacks, constantly exchanging fire in a friendly battle of wit and dry humor. 

Tech wanted that.

He wanted to be close to her. 

Close  _ with  _ her. 

But how could he explain that each touch from her seemed to set his skin ablaze wherever her fingers brushed, even through his gloves? Or how her laugh made his chest swell with happiness? Or how her sharp, inquisitive gaze made his stomach do flips? 

He was supposed to be good at words, damn it! That was part of his job! He served as the linguistic expert for the team and they relied on him at least once every mission to negotiate their way out of a rough situation. 

Yet Shadow stole away any ability to speak, leading to him standing there like an idiot trying to make words come out. Or making too many words come out in a rushed and jumbled mess of information. 

Where could he even  _ start _ ?

What if he tried to cuddle? She said she actually did like hugs, and it was great for building trust! 

“Shadow?” he whispered. 

A barely coherent muttering was her response, an ear twitching up and angling towards him. 

“May… may I cuddle you?”

“Huh? Oh, uh… sure.”

Tech hesitated, then rolled over. He let his arm drape over her, trying desperately to breathe normally. But would she catch his heartbeat increasing? Her ears were far superior to his. “Is this ok?”

He fully expected the woman to push him away. To his surprise and joy, Shadow wrapped her muscular arm around his and hugged it close, her grip bordering on possessive. A soft purr rumbled in her throat as her tail flicked against his leg. Wriggling back further into his chest, Shadow huffed a sigh before falling still once more. 

She sure did become cuddly when she let down her guard. Tech treasured every moment she allowed her more sensitive and sweeter side to show. It was rare to even see that side of her, so being the recipient of that affection deeply touched Tech. 

He couldn't help but rub her arm softly, another smile breaking across his face. He knew she hated the comparison, but she really was cute. “You do not mind this?” he ventured. 

“I don’t mind cuddles if I’m close to a person.”

His heart jumped. Close. Shadow thought they were close? “But you said-“

“Sleepy night night time, Techie,” Shadow said with playful sternness, nudging him with an elbow. “We need sleep.”

“Yes, being well rested is key to a productive mission,” Tech chirped, eager to dodge the other subject.

“Ok, Baymax.”

_ Another bizarre reference?  _ “Who?”

“It’s a friendly health robot who looks like a giant marshmallow and is just super sweet.”

Tech bristled. Why did people always assume he was weaker than his brothers? “I’m not  _ sweet _ . I’m a lethal commando-“

“You can be both ya know.”

His words slipped out. “Like you.”

_ Idiot! _

Shadow chuckled uncertainly. “I’m not sweet.”

That was an outright fallacy. Shadow had proven herself kind on numerous occasions. “You  _ claim _ not to be.”

She went silent for a moment. “Guess people just assume I’m not.” She sighed. “Think it’s my face.”

“Why?”

“I always look angry or like I’ll shred you if you look at me wrong,” she muttered. 

“I don’t think you do. I like your face.”

_ Fool! _

She  _ had _ to hear his heart now. Or feel it through her back.

But Shadow merely huffed a soft sigh and replied, “Good to hear. Night, Techie.”

“Goodnight, Shadow” He paused. “Should I move?”

_ Please say no _ .

He wanted to stay wrapped around her. 

“No… stay,” she mumbled. “Otherwise my brain won’t let me sleep because it says I’m not safe.”

He made her feel… safe? Shadow was  _ hardly _ helpless, yet she trusted him enough that she thought she’d sleep better if he was close? 

Tech hugged her tighter. “Of course. But you said you didn’t like contact?”

“I’m actually terribly touch-starved, I just… hell I love cuddle piles,” she admitted, ears low. Her tail twitched against his shins. “But I don’t know how to navigate that area with y’all.”

“I don’t mind if you want to cuddle. It is a fantastic way to build trust and helps mental well-being. Wrecker of course craves all physical contact.”

“Oh I noticed,” Shadow chuckled. “It’s Hunter and you I don’t know.”

The fact she didn’t mention Crosshair at all was not lost to Tech, but he didn’t comment. “Well, Hunter is more of an initiator. He prefers to choose when he engages in physical contact.”

“His senses mess with him?”

“Sometimes. It swings between craving and avoidance.”

“Ain’t conflictin’ at all,” she sighed. “So just chill and let him make the first move?”

_ With as stubborn as he is?  _ “I think you should make the first move.”

“Why?”

“He could be waiting to see where you stand on the issue.”

“But I don’t want to overstep…”

“Won’t know a boundary until you test it,” Tech replied.

“Guess that makes sense. Thanks, Tech,” she murmured, sighing as she laid her head down.

“You’re welcome, Shadow.” 

He wished he could talk with her more. It was so rare to be alone with her.  _ Crosshair _ had spent more time alone with her today than he himself had. 

But judging by her slow, even breaths, Shadow was almost asleep again. His questions would have to wait. 

At least they had four more days.

~***~

_ She likes me back! _

Sitting on the roof, a chilly post-storm breeze tugging his hair, Hunter smiled. 

Was this how Wrecker felt whenever he got to blow stuff up? Euphoric? 

Hunter certainly felt that way.

His confession and Shadow’s subsequent reaction played over and over in his mind’s eye. 

The initial shock. 

The cheesy response. 

The confirmation of requited affection. 

The warm embrace that followed. 

The lighthearted race and banter. 

The way her eyes lingered appreciatively on his soaked hair…

The call of a night bird pulled him from his remembrance, and just in time too. He’d been pondering too much on that last detail. 

While her gaze had been more curious the first night when she’d seen him shirtless, there’d been something more earlier today while she’d looked over his hair. It’d been there too when he’d stabbed the fish. 

_ Focus on something else before you get yourself in trouble for the night _ . 

But what could he focus on?

Oh… there was  _ that  _ issue...

He hadn’t just fallen for a mountain guide on a distant planet. He’d fallen for a  _ Realm Walker _ . A being who only existed in fiction, or so Hunter thought. 

A part of him hoped paranoia was the only culprit for his suspicion. Yet the evidence for her Realm Walker status continued to outweigh any alternative. 

Absentmindedly twirling his blade around his fingers, Hunter sighed. 

He was just a mutated commando with a knife. He didn’t ask for all this Realm Walker nonsense and magic… 

Hunter pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered under his breath. “Really picked the best girl to fall for, Hunter,” he grumbled to himself. 

Of all the people in the galaxy, he went and fell for a girl who was part of a race of beings that were only supposed to exist in legend or space-pilot stories. Of course, because the universe saw fit to make sure nothing was ever easy for him. Always had to be something. 

Yet he was hardly upset about the universe sending Shadow his way. 

“Hear yourself?” he huffed. “You sound like one of those cheesy romance holos Wrecker watches.” 

His mind’s response of course was to ponder more on the woman he’d gained the approval of. 

Maker, he was in trouble. 

A yawn caught him by surprise and he glanced up at the night sky. Squinting at the moon, he determined it was time to switch shifts with Tech. While the engineer was up, Hunter could ask him what he thought about it all. He felt certain he knew his little brother’s response in advance, but may as well get another opinion on this. 

If anything, Tech could debunk Hunter’s concerns and put his mind at ease. 

Casting his senses out one last time, registering only the Nat-borns that were supposed to be around, Hunter crept back to the large tree he’d climbed up and slipped to the ground and made his way inside. 

Maintaining a silent tread as he ascended the steps, he peered at Crosshair and Wrecker on the couch when he reached the top. Predictably, Crosshair had moved close to his batchmate who in turn had an arm curled protectively around him. 

Hunter was somewhat surprised. Usually Crosshair wouldn’t let people outside the team see him let down his guard like that. Did this mean he trusted Shadow enough to show at least partial vulnerability?

Sharp eyes snapped open, holding Hunter’s gaze unblinking. Crosshair’s eyes didn’t possess nearly the same reflectivity as Hunter’s, but thanks to whatever predator the kaminoans added to his DNA the sniper’s eyes gave off a faint glow of their own. 

It made his sleepwalking habits all the more unnerving. 

Deciding there was no threat, Crosshair merely squinted at him and snorted before settling back down. 

Shaking the chill down his spine, Hunter snuck to the room where Shadow and Tech slept. 

Slipping inside and quietly closing the door, Hunter froze.

He thought they’d‘ve constructed a barrier between them, but no.

Tech had his chest pressed against Shadow’s back, his arm wrapped around her as they both slept on. 

_ Maker! _

Hunter knew Tech would attach himself to anyone sleeping next to him like a sort of cuddle magnet, but he thought Tech would have the sense to  _ not _ do that to Shadow! Shadow wasn’t cuddly!

But the woman looked peaceful as she slept, unbothered by the trooper wrapped around her. If anything, her arms had wound themselves around Tech’s. 

Something hot sparked in his chest, and Hunter quickly realized it was jealousy. Jealousy that it wasn’t him cuddling the woman. 

_ Stop that. If she does join after the mission, you’ll have to share. Remember she likes Wrecker too _ .

The jealousy nevertheless remained as he approached the bed. He silently cursed when he had to stand in front of Shadow. Were he to tap Tech’s shoulder, the engineer could accidentally lash out and hit Shadow. She’d probably react with violence in turn due to shock, and it was just a mess he didn’t care to deal with. 

“Tech!” he hissed, desperate to wake the engineer but not Shadow. “ _ Tech _ !”

“ _ Brrrrroww _ ?” 

Hunter’s eyes widened at the trill from Shadow as she abruptly lifted her head and blinked sleepily at him. 

_ Karkin’ hells, that’s kriffiin’  _ **_adorable_ ** _.  _

“Al?” she mumbled, voice rough and thick with sleep. 

_ The sailor?  _ “No, Ice.”

“Tom?”

Why would she think the sailors were waking her up? Then again she must have slept near the two she mentioned, she obviously trusted them the most. And Trevor said the one sailor called her ‘Ice’ too...

He shook his head again as he crouched beside her. “Shadow…” he said softly, hoping she’d recognize his voice.

She blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes before squinting at him. Reaching out, she cautiously swatted at his hair.

_ Are all of her species so tactile? _

Not that he minded Shadow’s touch in the least. Her hands were a bit rough when they brushed his cheek, but that was hardly a drawback. He almost moved her hand to trace the skull on his face, but he preferred to wait until she wasn’t half asleep. 

Plus she might poke him in the eye. 

“Oh, hey Sarge.” She yawned as she pulled her hand back. “Whatcha doin’?”

“Just… wakin’ Tech up for his shift,” he explained, almost certain he’d seen  _ fangs _ folded against the roof of her mouth.  _ What are  _ **_those_ ** _ for? _

“I needta take one?”

“No, go back to sleep.” He hesitated then reached forward and brushed the hair from her face. Was that ok? Would she accept that touch? She mentioned she didn’t mind contact...

But he didn’t want to overstep and risk damaging the relationship so early. 

Luckily, Shadow enjoyed his touch if anything. Her ears flicked and a purr rumbled in her throat as she leaned into his hand, causing warmth to flood his chest. 

A soft smile tugged his lips and he stroked her forehead with his thumb. 

Moments of softness, of weakness, were so rare in war. What could a few moments of tenderness hurt? Especially if Shadow was on the receiving end?

She smiled at him before settling her head back on the pillow which Tech had worked his arm under. “Ya switchin’ out with ‘im?”

Hunter’s thumb went still as he stared at her, not certain he heard just right. “Huh?”

The reflective membrane at the back of her eyes flashed as she rolled her eyes. “Hard o’ hearin’ at night?” She suddenly snickered, pointed finger guns at nothing, and mumbled “At night, tssss” as if it was a bizarre inside joke. 

“I… You’re certain?” he asked, withdrawing his hand.

“Ain’t askin’ to fuck ya, Shaggs. Askin’ if ya want to sleep here next to me.”

_ Maker, is she blunt. Especially when half-asleep.  _ “I don’t mind piling with Wrecker and Cross.”

She shrugged, or shrugged best she could lying down with Tech wrapped around her. “Up to you.”

“Right, thanks,” he stammered before asking, “Can you get Tech up?”

“Can try.” Shadow nudged the engineer with an elbow. “Techie. Shadow to Tech, come in Tech.”

“Tech reporting,” the engineer slurred, still obviously asleep.

Shadow rolled her eyes. “Wake up, bud.”

Now partially conscious, Tech whined in protest and snuggled close to Shadow, burying his nose in the junction between her shoulder and her neck. “Noooo.”

Shadow shot Hunter an amused but groggy grin and began to softly poke Tech in the nose. “Inspector Gadget, your CO wants you up.”

“He can wait,” Tech grumbled, batting her hand away. 

“I cannot,” Hunter retorted as he stood and crossed his arms over his chest, two seconds away from walking back around and prying Tech off Shadow himself. 

Tech finally lifted his head and blinked at Hunter, one eye still half shut. “What?” he demanded, perturbed. 

“Your shift, get up.”

Seeing Tech so physically close to Shadow… 

“Five more minutes,” Tech huffed, starting to settle back down.

“Now, Tech. That’s an order,” Hunter growled, purposefully ignoring the look on Shadow’s face or the way her ears flicked up at his tone. 

“Better go, Techie. Hunter sounded grumpy,” Shadow told the engineer, shuffling away from the engineer and prodding his nose again. 

“He’s always grumpy,” Tech grumbled, grudgingly sitting up and reaching for his goggles. 

“I’ll be outside, do  _ not _ lag around,” Hunter said, jealousy and fatigue shortening his temper. 

“Offer is still open, Sarge,” Shadow mumbled as she settled back down to sleep. 

“Right,” Hunter coughed, hurrying out. Ignoring Crosshair’s snide remark about being as twitchy as cadet, Hunter descended the steps and waited for his brother as he tried to shove the jealousy away. 

A task which, as he quickly discovered, was far easier said than done. 

  
  



	23. Ch. 21 Boundary Breaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes. A duel meaning title! 
> 
> Another fluffy af chapter with some spice peppered in because who I am as a writer. That is all I shall say. 
> 
> Also, this will be the last chapter until March. I planned to keep on going but  
> A) The next chapter is a great cut point for a break  
> B ) It's the end of the month so I'm not breaking in the middle of one  
> C ) If I keep going I WILL crash and crash hard  
> D ) I want to draft some for the To the Far Reaches/ Fallen Not Forgotten   
> E ) I need to get back into writing to write, not writing to post
> 
> Plus  
> With this chapter, OtRaTtW will be 67527 words  
> The REVISED OtaGS was only 65,586 :' D  
> March, April, May, June, and the first week of July was how long it took for OtaGS  
> Back half of July, September, October, Nov, Dec, and the first two weeks in Jan was OtRaTtW up until Ch 22 
> 
> I need a break dgkajdsbkjwdh
> 
> Hopefully though when I come back I can have a nice schedule of Friday uploads. In the mean time, I'll be occasionally posting things and such on ShadowsStoryStuff tumblr, although I will probably be taking a small break from tumblr too. Nevertheless, come say hi if you'd like! 
> 
> I also have a tumblr RP account where you can ask Shadow questions about the boys/life on the Marauder/mission/ect! It's Shadow-Stalker99!
> 
> With that, onto the chapter! 
> 
> Content Warning: Sexual references (more intense than usual)

Hunter paced outside, growing more impatient by the minute. What was taking Tech so karking  _ long _ ?! What could he  _ possibly _ be doing?

He swore at least thirty minutes had passed before the barn door finally opened and Tech walked out with his armor on. 

Catching Hunter’s eye, he frowned. “What? I  _ hurried _ like you so adamantly insisted.”

“Don’t sass me,” Hunter growled. 

“Sass? I merely stated a fact. Three minutes and thirty five seconds was all it took.”

What? No, had to be longer. 

“You’re awake, right?”

“Clearly,” Tech retorted, crossing his arms. “Or I would not be talking to you. Also, what offer was Shadow referring to?” 

“None of your business,” Hunter barked. 

“I rather think it is. Your decisions affect us all,” Tech countered. “What did she propose to you?”

_ When you say it like that it sounds bad!  _ “She… said she wouldn’t mind me sleeping beside her.”

Tech blinked. “Oh. That’s all?”

“ _ All _ ? Tech I have a crush on this woman  _ and  _ it’s reciprocated.”

“Yes. And? She is just asking if you want to sleep beside her. She said she doesn’t view it sexually. I personally would recommend it. She’s warm and smells nice, and sleeping next to a person is good for building trust.”

_ Go on, rub it in that you’ve cuddled her and I haven’t!  _ “How did you get her permission to cuddle her as you slept?” he demanded.

“I merely asked if I could and she said yes.” Tech pondered for a moment. “She is quite bizarre.”

That she was. But she was  _ his _ bizarre little mountain guide. That made all the difference. 

At least… she was mostly his. Wrecker shared a crush and after seeing Tech and her curled up with each other...

Hunter looked over his younger brother and accepted defeat. “I can see I’m not the only one with a crush on her.”

Tech stiffened. “ _ Crush?  _ I do not have a crush! She... she merely… I just wish to get to know her more and be close to her and she makes me feel happy and…” He trailed off. “Oh those are the symptoms of a ‘crush’ aren’t they…” 

His brother’s cluelessness could be downright adorable at times. “Yeah. But I think we all have a crush on her. She’s quite a woman.” Hunter couldn’t help but chuckle despite his worn nerves. “She’s even got  _ Crosshair’s  _ attention. He won’t admit it, but I’ll eat my bucket if he doesn’t have feelings for her.”

“That’s problematic,” Tech stated. “It isn’t going to be easy to say goodbye once this mission is over.”

Hunter tugged uneasily on the hair at the back of his neck. “About that…” 

Tech stared at him. “You aren’t thinking of  _ desertion  _ are you?”

_ Only every day. But that’s not what’s on my mind now _ . 

The current idea had been bouncing in his head since the night before and had only grown more appealing throughout the day. Especially after learning of Shadow’s crush...

“Not us staying here…” Hunter faltered, took a deep breath, strengthened his voice, and confessed, “Her coming with us.” 

He braced for Tech’s immediate rejection of such a proposal, but surprisingly Tech looked to be giving it serious thought. “Is that even possible?” the engineer finally asked. “There are no doubt regulations preventing such a thing. She’s not a contracted officer commissioned by the GAR.”

“It’d be unofficial as far as the suits are concerned.” Hunter shrugged. “Not like we follow rules anyways.”

Tech pondered that. “What about her sailor friends?”

_ Ah. Right. Should probably address that… _ “They… they won’t come back.”

Tech straightened in surprise. “What? How do you know? With the fondness in her tone whenever she speaks of them, they wouldn’t just walk out of her life and never return. Shadow said they had to separate temporarily due to legal issues.”

_ What? Oh, of  _ **_course_ ** _. Not only did I fall for a Realm Walker, it’s a  _ **_criminal_ ** _ Realm Walker.  _

Tech was still chattering. “-thus it’s entirely improbable that they would never again return to see her again.”

“Tech…” Hunter began slowly. “There is a  _ very _ good chance those sailors are from a different reality.”

“A  _ different  _ **_reality_ ** ?” Tech demanded. “How would that even be possible?”

“Because Shadow is a Realm Walker.”

Tech froze, eyes flying wide. “Realm Walker?!” he exclaimed, voice far too loud for Hunter’s liking. 

“Sshhh! Not so loud! She’s got superhuman hearing!” Hunter hissed, frantically gesturing for Tech to lower his voice. 

“Sorry, just…” Tech, for once, seemed at a loss for words. “Are you  _ certain _ ?”

“Enough to place a bet on it. Sarah thinks she is too. Think about it, Tech. She’s showing many of the rumored signs. Spotty memory on some things, incredibly detailed knowledge of others even when she shouldn’t know it, weird memory flashes, immense power levels, and there’s that thing she’s always mentioning. Plot Armor.”

“But Realm Walkers aren’t real!”

“Maybe. Maybe not. The longer we’re in the galaxy away from Kamino the more things I question,” Hunter said tiredly, running a hand through his loose hair.

“Should I ask her about it?” Tech chirped, immediately walking back towards the barn. 

“No!” Hunter said quickly, pulling Tech back by the arm. “Not yet. Some are proud. Others skittish. They’re a major advantage to any side they’re on thanks to borderline prophetic abilities, so people often try to use them for selfish reasons which causes some to be wary. That’s why they’re so powerful too, so they can avoid exploitation.”

Tech tipped his head to the side. “Isn’t that your goal?”

“My desire to have her join us has nothing to do with her Realm Walker status,” Hunter corrected. “Besides, you don’t want to say goodbye any more than me and you and I both know Wrecker doesn’t.”

“But we’re soldiers,” Tech pointed out. “How would she keep up?”

“She’s got a good background foundation to become a soldier. She just needs more training and she’d fit right in.” He hadn’t planned to just throw her into combat!

“What about her anxiety?” 

An obstacle, but not one that couldn’t be worn down over time. “It’s more social than anything. She doesn’t hesitate to play rough if she needs to.” Hunter sighed. “And it was her idea for the sailors to hit her with a truck.”

Tech’s eyes widened again. “That… oh she’s insane. I have a crush on a crazy dare devil…”

“ _ We _ have a crush on a crazy dare devil,” Hunter corrected. “But I won’t ask her about it now. Nor will I ask her about Realm Walkers now. I just needed to get your opinion.”

“My  _ opinions _ are based on sound reasoning and scientific findings backed by extensive research,” Tech huffed, stiffening. 

“You know what I meant,” Hunter groaned. 

Tech still looked disgruntled but Hunter was already heading back inside. 

“Switch with Crosshair when you finish,” the sergeant called behind him before heading up the stairs once more. 

Carefully slipping off what little armor he’d put on, Hunter stood uncertainty in the middle of the room. 

Should he take her offer? Would that cause problems? Was it too soon? What if he wanted to cuddle and she said no? He couldn’t think of why she wouldn’t want to, but he just never could tell with that woman. 

While her enigmatic personality could be intriguing and kept him on his toes, it could also result in a frustrating guessing game. 

“Just going to stand there,” Crosshair taunted, “Or will you grow a pair and take her offer?”

_ Real mature _ . “How did you hear her offer?”

“That voice of hers carries.”

“It’s a nice voice,” Wrecker mumbled.

Crosshair huffed at his Batchmate’s comment then stared at Hunter. “Well?”

Staring down his brother, Hunter finally made his decision and headed for Shadow’s room. He crept inside and softly shut the door before setting his knife on the nightstand.

He paused, watching Shadow’s side rise and fall as she slept and trying not to focus on the way the covers outlined her body. That was hardly his only attraction to her, but it was definitely there. Not that he would dare make a comment about her figure like Wrecker had yesterday…

Banishing those thoughts once more before it got too much to control, Hunter pondered his next move. 

Should he? She had offered… and he did really want to sleep next to her… 

Hardly daring to breathe, Hunter laid down on top of the covers as quietly as he could to avoid waking Shadow. 

She muttered and shifted, but didn’t comment. 

A faint smile playing across his features, Hunter looked over at her. How did he manage to gain the approval of such a woman? How did he gain the  _ affection  _ of such a woman? He wished he could interact with her with Wrecker’s ease, or snuggle up to her like Tech had.

Then again, if he got too close, the urge to sleep curled around her may overwhelm him. She probably wouldn’t like that. 

Then again she hadn’t minded with Tech...

“Shaggs… I can feel ya lookin’ at me,” she chuckled. 

“Just… feel lucky.” Why did his words suddenly tangle themselves whenever he spoke to her? He wasn’t this flustered before he confessed!

_ Get it together. You’re acting like you’ve never talked to a woman. _

Then again, he  _ hadn’t _ talked to a woman like Shadow. She was just so…

Unpredictable. 

“Well feel lucky under the covers, I’m cold,” she snorted, arm twisting around at an odd angle to poke him. “Tech took his warmth with him.” 

Pausing, Hunter took the offer and wiggled under, careful to keep a slight distance as he laid on his back. 

Shadow, apparently, had other plans. “Ooo, warm boy,” she chuckled, wriggling back into his arm, tail brushing his shin, before setting her head down again. 

“May regret this in the morning, Ice.”  _ Because we  _ **_will_ ** _ end up tangled together if you stay close to me.  _

“Problem for future me.” She hesitated. “Certainly ain’t gonna complain if I wake up in your arms.” 

His heart leapt as warmth flooded his chest. “So you’re a romantic now?” he asked, trying to downplay the affection rising within him. 

“I am many things. Chief among them an idiot.”

He nudged her. “But an adorable idiot.”

Test the waters. See how she’d respond to a bit of lighthearted flirting. 

To his delight, she responded with that characteristic dryness he’d come to love, lightly kicking his shin. “Mister, I  _ will _ kick you out of this bed with no remorse.” 

Hunter chuckled. “You wouldn’t do that. You’re cold, remember?”

“You really wanna play games, Sarge?” Shadow asked slowly, voice full of mischief. “You have no idea what I’ll pull.”

“I’m curious, Ice,” he teased. What  _ did _ she have planned?

“One more chance to back down, Shaggy…”

“You know we don’t back down.”

“Have it your way. Gonna regret this.”

Hunter expected to be kicked  _ off _ the bed, not pinned down to it. Staring up at glowing blue eyes, he swallowed against the razor sharp claws Shadow held to his throat. While she, thankfully, hadn’t straddled him, the hand at his throat and on his chest holding him down weren’t exactly weak and kept him pinned.

Sharp teeth flashed in the moonlight streaming through the window, bared in a smug yet sleepy grin. “Warned ya.”

In one fluid motion, his blade lightly rested against her own throat. 

He trusted her. Had a reciprocated crush on her even. 

But he couldn’t be too careful. Letting your guard down could get you killed. 

Sleeping next to someone was a pretty large step as far as trust went. He just hoped this risk wouldn’t end up with him bleeding out. 

Shadow glanced down. “Always ready, huh?”

“Better safe than sorry.”

The claws at his throat disappeared, much to Hunter’s relief. “Got that right. Sleep with one eye open.”

“Should hope I don’t need to do that with you.” While playful, his voice held a hint of warning. He didn’t want her to think that just because they now knew feelings were reciprocated that she had free reign. There were still limits. 

The seriousness in her next words reassured him. “Not at all. Even if we weren’t crushin’ on each other, or even on good terms, I’m not about to attack an armed and lethal commando while half asleep and while the commando’s lethal brethren are just beyond that door. I’m smarter than that.”

“You’re smart, that’s for sure,” Hunter replied, setting the knife down. He’d made his point, no need to press the matter. Especially since she’d proven she knew when to back down. 

He now fought down a smile as he gazed up at the woman hovering over him. Sheer willpower kept his hand from straying to her cheek. She looked amazing from this angle, eyes and hair catching the moonlight. 

_ Keep it together. She can smell hormones, do  _ **_not_ ** _ let your thoughts go crazy.  _

A smile returning to her face as the serious moment passed, Shadow chuckled. “Besides, I’m no prayin’ mantis.”

“What’s that?”

“Predatory bug. The female eats her mate.”

Hunter quickly forced his thoughts away as that last word sparked an inferno in his chest. “Glad you aren’t one of those,” he snorted.

“Shockin’.” Shadow moved off him, but the moment she turned away Hunter quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her down beside him.

“Dropped your guard,” he growled in her ear, tightening his grip and further drawing her back to his chest. He crossed a knee over his groin just in case she pulled some trick. She was a dirty fighter after all, and while he loved that quality he’d rather not be on the receiving end of a crude strike below the belt. Getting brushed there would also not be helpful, but for a completely different reason.

It was a leap to grab her like this and pull her against him. A  _ big _ leap. Would she react negatively? Or be playful?

He got the standard response. 

Shadow flopped her weight onto him, provoking a grunt from Hunter as she pushed him onto his back and laid sideways across his chest. 

_ This woman is heavier than she looks… _ In this form, she was nearly as big as he was. Adjusting his breathing as Shadow’s weight bore down on him, he smiled. Playful, as always.

“Course my guard is low, I’m half asleep cause  _ someone _ woke me up,” she retorted before a yawn overtook her. 

Hunter stifled a laugh at the squeak punctuating the end. “So you only talk a big game?” he teased. “Can’t carry it through?”

“You ticklish, Sarge?” she asked mischievously, grinning at him. 

_ Her voice gets higher pitched when she’s playful _ … He hummed. “Are you?”

Ears twitched backwards as her heart rate jumped and her back muscles tensed against his chest. “Mmmm… I yield.”

Hunter now knew  _ exactly  _ how to get the upper hand. But it was late, they both needed sleep. This battle would continue another day. “Surrender accepted.”

“Good, now lemme go.”

“How come Tech got to cuddle you?” he asked, only half joking.

“Cause he’s adorable.” 

Ouch. “Thought you said I was apeallin’,” he said, once again only half joking as he frowned.

“Maker,  _ shut up! _ ” Crosshair yelled.

A repressing wheezing came from Shadow as her body shook from laughter. “Angered the twig.”

“We should get to sleep,” Hunter said, resigned. He paused and squeezed ever so slightly with his arms, drawing her closer to him before he let her go. “But should you decide to wake up in my arms, I won’t complain either.” 

Shadow laughed softly and rolled out of his grip to her spot. “If I wake up like that it’s fine, but better not start like that this early on.”

“But Tech could sleep tucked around you?” he asked, propping himself up on one elbow. 

“He’s not doin’ it on a romantic level.”

_ You really haven’t noticed?  _ “Are you sure?”

“Hell, man, let me sleep without worryin’ about another crush to figure out,” she said with mock exasperation. 

Crosshair’s angry rasp came through the door. “Yes,  _ please _ shut up and let the rest of us get some shut eye.”

_ Jealous bastard _ , Hunter thought. 

All Cross had told him about when him and Shadow were alone was that they reached an understanding. A truce.

But Hunter wasn’t blind. 

He saw how Crosshair trusted Shadow to hold his helmet, which Hunter caught the sniper smelling after Shadow took her shirt out. He saw how Crosshair brushed past her after accidentally triggering a mild depressive or anxiety episode, making sure she was ok the same way he made sure Hunter was alright. He saw how the sniper had let Shadow into his personal space. He saw how he’d begun to tease her more, or at least show that signature smirk that counted as his smile. A smile that often appeared when Crosshair looked at Shadow while he thought no one was watching. 

Crosshair had begun to fall for Shadow as well.

“Sorry, Twiggs!” Shadow called, receiving grumbling in return. Rolling her eyes, she wiggled down into the cover, wallowing out a small nest area of sorts. She then paused and hesitantly looked up at him. “Mind if I sleep against you? I can’t… my brain stays on high alert otherwise.”

_ I would not mind if you slept with your head on my chest.  _ “Not at all, c’mere.”

She twisted around and Hunter shifted so she could press her back against his. Bolts of electricity shot up his spine and throughout his body, but he forced the tension from his muscles. 

Shadow’s tail brushed his leg, the tip curling over his ankle. “Goodnight, Hunter. And thanks.”

Hunter adjusted himself. “Goodnight, Shadow. You’re welcome.”

Shadow’s tail curled tighter over his shin briefly before falling slack as she drifted back off. 

At least he thought she had.

“Fuck it,” she grumbled suddenly, shifting away from him. “Yolo.”

Before Hunter could ask what she was doing or what ‘Yolo’ meant, Shadow grabbed his shoulder, pulled him onto his back, and tucked herself against his side with her head on his shoulder. 

Hunter froze, not believing what was happening. 

Was… was Shadow actually cuddling him? Was this really happening? The warmth and weight from her on his chest and shoulder certainly  _ felt _ real, knocking all of his senses out of alignment, but maybe he was just having a  _ very _ vivid dream.

When he didn’t respond, Shadow grew tense. “Sorry,” she muttered, shifting away. 

Hunter’s arm quickly encircled her back and pulled her to him. “No, you can stay,” he said quickly. “Just… didn’t know if I was dreaming.” 

“Dreamy, maybe,” Shadow mumbled, tail twitching furiously against his leg after the remark. “Oof, that was so damn mushy…” she groaned, covering her face with a hand.

“No, no. It’s alright,” he chuckled uncertainly, not sure how to respond to the compliment. “Was just wondering if I fell asleep- youch!”

Shadow snickered as she let go of his arm from where she’d pinched him. “Wanted to know if you were awake?”

Hunter locked his arm around her and held her tightly against him. “I know your weakness, remember,” he warned, taking a risk and poking her nose.

Shadow playfully snapped her teeth at his finger. “Tickle me and no more cuddles.”

Well  _ that  _ wouldn’t do.

“Fine,” Hunter relented, relaxing. 

Shadow snickered, sounding very much like a wheezy jackal, before snuggling against him. Her legs shifted away, but her upper half remained close. “Ya make a good pillow, Sarge,” she mumbled. “Kinda squishy but firm. Strong boy.” 

He couldn’t help but smile as her head briefly pressed against his cheek. “You’re welcome, Ice,” he replied, leaning his head against hers for a moment as he breathed in deeply. Her in his arms just… right. It felt so  _ right _ . 

Despite taking a shower, she still smelled like leaf litter and pine sap. A calming, soothing scent to him, especially combined with the woodsmoke smell she always had. While on the trail she’d mentioned to Tech that each Alphian clan had a certain scent, and without the interference of other smells he could definitely see what she meant.

Closer. He wanted her closer, a need driven not by sexual desire but an unyielding surge of affection setting his entire body on fire. Cautiously taking her arm, first making sure she didn’t mind, he pulled it across his chest. 

Shadow hugged him with the one arm before sighing, a purr buried within the sound, and falling still against him. 

“Good night.” He paused and let his thumb stroke her back. “ _ Cyar’ika _ .” 

“My heart ain’t sweet,” she mumbled, only half coherent now. Her breath tickled his neck, sending a chill racing down his spine. “It’s a black hole in the pit of despair.”

“Sure, Icy. Sure,” he chuckled, receiving a poke in the ribs. 

Shadow hesitated, took a breath, then ventured, “This isn’t gonna cause… problems for you is it? I know a guy’s third leg has a mind of its own.”

_ Shadow  _ **_please_ ** _ don’t turn my thoughts there. Also did you just refer to my dick as a  _ **_third leg_ ** _?  _

“I’ll be fine.”

“M’kay, just push me away if it starts to bother you.”

Hunter had no such intentions. If there was one thing he prided himself over, it was his internal control. Since Shadow wasn’t doing anything to explicitly cause trouble for him, he was sure he could keep himself in check.

“Don’t worry about it, alright?” he whispered.

“Say no more,” she snorted before she dozed off. “Sorry in advance if I start twitchin’, I’m told I fight in my sleep.”

“I’m excellent at subduing opponents.”

Shadow chuckled, already half asleep. “Boy careful what  _ you  _ say or  _ I’m  _ gonna be the one having trouble,” she murmured. 

Hunter made a mental note of that information and quickly filed it away for later before he dwelled on it too much. 

Smiling again to himself, the feel of Shadow sleeping against him gave him the sensation of floating.

The war was far away. His brothers were safe. His responsibilities would not return until morning. All that currently mattered was here, now, and the woman sleeping on his chest.

Hunter closed his eyes and drifted off as well, feeling happier than he had in a long time. 

If this was civilian life, he couldn’t wait to get out. 


	24. Ch. 22 What A Wake Up Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOWDY HOWDY, WE'RE BACK.  
> I'll keep this brief and rather than ramble I'll just direct you here for future update information!  
> https://shadowsstorystuff.tumblr.com/post/643969045165670400/updates  
> But yes, your eyes do not deceive you. We got a long road ahead of us for this fic.
> 
> TIME TO LOCK N' LOAD IN TACTIC MODE
> 
> Warnings: Morning horniness, sexual references, kink mention  
> (Maybe one day I'll actually have a sexual segment rather than just talking about it all the time)

Cabin…

I had to be in a cabin. 

Comfy bed, warm heavy quilts, and bird song from somewhere out the window. It was also too light for my room with my blackout curtains.

And it certainly smelled like a cabin. 

That after-rain musk that only the woods could supply, the wonderful scent of pine sap, slight coffee from the vents, and lingering woodsmoke from long gone fires.

But there was something I was  _ not _ used to.

The unmistakable smell of a man. 

Was there a guy nearby?  _ Why  _ was there a guy nearby? 

I definitely wasn’t on the ship. Couldn’t be. The ship didn’t smell like this. It smelled like oil, diesel, and slight mildew. Plus salt and metal. I’d picked that up even though I’d not been an Alphian in that fandom jump. 

So what was with the smell of a dude? 

Eh, if there was a dude nearby, they weren’t bothering me so I couldn’t care less. If he poked me we’d have issues, but for now… I was more concerned as to why the hell my pillow felt weird and lumpy. It was super narrow too, at least compared to a normal pillow. And warm?

It also… moved? 

I grumbled and wiggled against the other very warm pillow at my back. Wait… that one was warm and lumpy too.

And I swore the smell of man was coming mainly from the pillows. 

_ What in tarnation? _

I mean it was a pretty damn good smell, so I wasn’t complaining, but where was it coming from? Why the pillow? Did I borrow the pillow from a dude?

My head pillow shifted, trying to escape, so I did the natural thing.

I grabbed it with my teeth and growled, “No.”

A sharp inhalation of breath was the response as the pillow tensed.

I realized, rather quickly, that my pillow was not an actual pillow. It was a delightful pillow, granted, but not a real one made of cloth and fluffy stuffing. No, warm skin and hard muscle flexed beneath my teeth. 

Someone’s arm...

_ Hunter’s _ arm.

The events from the night previous washed over me. 

Tech cuddling up to me. Hunter waking us up. Tech leaving. Hunter coming back. Teasing. Wrestling. The night ending with me cuddled up on his chest. 

I was in bed with the sergeant of the Bad Batch.

_ Oh. That explains a lot _ . 

Hunter shifted, chest pressing against me as he reached around and tugged my jaw. “C’mon,” he mumbled, clearly half asleep as his voice rumbled through my back. “Le’go my arm, sharp toothed tooka.”

_ Tooka?!  _ I realized I still had my teeth locked onto the poor sergeant’s bare arm and I quickly let go. “Shit, my bad fam.”

“See what Wrecker meant by sharp teeth,” Hunter muttered, voice groggy as he rolled away and wiped the spit off. 

My ears flattened. “Hey, don’t blame me, I was half asleep!” I protested, twisting around to face him. 

The lazy smirk on his face caught me off guard, especially since his face was rather close to mine. “Don’t mind it,” he commented, reaching up and poking my nose as I tried not to think about how damn close we were. “Just ask next time before you bite me.”

“Oh, you like being bitten?” I huffed, swatting at his hand. “Kinky motherfucker.” 

“If I recall correctly,” Hunter said slowly, a small grin on his tattooed face, “I’m not the only one here who’s got kinks.” 

_ Busted.  _

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately depending on the point of view, my filter was  _ not _ working. “Perhaps I do. Been writing smut enough to know.” 

“Is that what’s on your phone?”

Tech’s voice from the foot of the bed nearly sent me to the ceiling like a cat spooked by a cucumber.

Tail bushed out twice its size as I latched onto Hunter in brief panic, I glared at the engineer as he sat cross-legged at our feet. “Tech! The hell are you doing down there?”

“I didn’t want to sleep with Crosshair and this bed is quite long so I borrowed a spare blanket from the storage room and slept here,” the nerd chirped, indicating the makeshift sleeping spot. 

“Shadow,” Hunter grunted, lightly slapping the back of my hand. “ _ Claws _ .”

I quickly retracted them from the poor sergeant’s blacks and glared at Tech. “Dammit, Techie, you’re gonna give me a heart attack one of these days…”

“I can fashion a makeshift defibrillator!”

“Keep yo hands off my chest.” I immediately cringed. “That… could have been said differently.” 

“I liked it,” Hunter remarked, earning himself a shove that sent him off the bed and to the floor.

_ Fuckin’ hell, man, your thigh is  _ **_solid_ ** _. _

“Damn you hot blooded males, all horny and shit,” I huffed, rolling my eyes. “First kinks and now my tits.” I frowned. “I see my filter is workin’ fine and dandy today…”

_ This bodes well _ . _ Why is morning hornieness a thing? _

“I actually have a question about that!” Tech chirped. 

“Say what now?”I asked as Hunter shook the hair from his eyes and climbed back into the bed, sliding back under the warm covers with a light punch to my arm. 

“What are the mating rituals for Alphians like?” Tech asked, scooting closer.

_ Boy I  _ **_know_ ** _ you didn’t just ask that.  _

Overly aware of the sudden flash of hormones from my right, I gulped. “Uhh… can we take a raincheck on that question? I don’t want Hunter here to have issues any more than he probably already does.”

_ Which is my fault in the first place but nuance.  _

“It’s a simple biological question?” Tech defended. 

“A sexual question, and I am  _ not _ dealin’ with a horny sergeant,” I said. 

Hunter huffed, sounding offended. “What’s so wrong with a horny sergeant?” 

_ Nothing but considering how early it is in this self insert, smut will have to wait. I’m grey but… yeah I would.  _

“Take your shovel back, I’m not diggin’ this hole any deeper,” I retorted, shoving the tattooed commando. Turning my attention back to Tech, I said, “I’ll tell you about Alphian relationships instead, how about that?” 

“That will do,” Tech sighed, clearly disappointed. 

“I’m interested in how they work, too,” Hunter teased, shoving me in retaliation. 

I swatted at his hands, half tempted to kick him off the bed again. “Well firstly, we don’t marry. It’s a lifemate ceremony with ritualistic scarring on our lower back.”

“You didn’t have any scarring on your lower back,” Tech pointed out. 

_ Not thinking about why you were staring there _ . “Haven’t chosen a lifemate.”

“So Alphians are monogamous?”

“Well... no. Some lifemate, others don’t. The Council, bastards, only really recognize a lifemate ceremony as official. Up to two lifemates, any more than that and the Council doesn’t recognize it.”

“What’s the Council?” Hunter asked. 

“Kinda like the species wide government if you live on Alphiana or in Alphian territory. Bastards one and all.”

“Can you have more than two lifemates if you are outside Alphian territory?” Tech asked.

“Can honestly have as many partners as you want,” I said with a shrug. “They don’t punish that. They just will only recognize two as official in Alphian territory.”

“So... three non-official would be possible?” he ventured, fiddling with the covers. 

I glanced at Hunter, recalling his words last night, before looking back to Tech. “It would.”

“I see,” he said softly before straightening. “Thank you for sharing about your species, you are very knowledgeable.”

Ignoring the way a simple compliment warmed my chest, I chuckled, “No problem. Love talkin’ about ‘em.”

“Ritualistic scarring?” Hunter asked. 

“Four claw marks on either side of the spine at the small of the back,” I replied. 

“That’s a very vulnerable area,” he commented, hand going to that area on his own back. 

“That’s why the placement is there. To show trust.”

“Ah.” He looked me over. 

“Relax, Sarge. I’m not one for traditions. It’s just peer pressure from dead people.”

_ And well… there’s the issue of y’all leaving once the mission’s over _ . 

I tried not to think about it lest my damn abandonment issues act up again but… 

Even still. 

“ _ So! _ ” I said forcefully, changing the subject. “Let’s get on up and head on out ASAP. Today is gonna be a lot harder than yesterday, we need an early start.”

“Right!” Tech agreed, hopping off the bed and scurrying to the door. “I’m going to run equipment diagnostics before we go!”

I watched him leave and sighed as I kicked off the covers. “Well, Sarge, ready for another day of play?” I asked, stretching with a groan. Something cracked loudly and I groaned, “Dunno what that was, but damn it felt good.” 

“Shadow, I do trust you,” Hunter said, shifting to kneel next to me. 

“I’d assume so, I slept on your chest last night,” I joked dryly, giving myself a thorough shake to ward off the remnants of sleep. 

“Hmmm. And how did you sleep?” he asked, amused. 

_ Hella well.  _ I did feel a bit yucky and stiff, but I knew that was just left over from my dip in the frigid stream yesterday. It was fine. I wasn’t so sick I couldn’t continue with these boys. 

“Honestly, Sarge? I slept better than I have in a while. Thanks for being a pillow,” I replied with a smile as I nudged him. 

“Thank  _ you _ for sharin’ the bed, Icy,” he rumbled, grinning as well. 

Ignoring the fact his sleepy voice had me feeling a type of way, I turned my attention to Hunter’s mane of dark wavy hair. Freed from that Rambo bandana, it really did look like a mane. “Bruh your hair is a mess. Lookin’ like you stuck your finger in an electrical outlet!” I laughed. 

Hunter squinted at me before reaching up and ruffling my hair. He smirked as it stood up. “What was that about messy hair, Ice?”

I glared deadpan at him, ears flat. “Jackass,” I growled, shaking my hair back into place.

“Yes but you enjoy it,” he laughed. 

“ Touché ,” I agreed. “Love me some playful teasin’.”

“If it’s teasin’ you want.” He lifted my chin. “I can oblige.”

_ Spicy _ . 

“Oh my, wouldja look at the time!” I yelped, shifting backwards and off the bed with a thump. Shoving my tail from my face, I laughed nervously as Hunter peered down at me. 

“Flustered?” he asked with false innocence, chin resting on his fist.

I threw a spare pillow at him, which he easily dodged, and flipped him off as I stood up. “Fuck you.”

“Bit too early for that.”

**_Well alrighty then_ ** . 

“ _ Someone’s  _ horny in the mornin’. But you right,” I said, grabbing my bag to head to the bathroom. “So I’ll leave you and your hand to yourselves. Bye!” 

I quickly zipped out the door and slammed it shut behind me to avoid whatever response came after  _ that _ . 

Probably should have looked first because I ran smack into Crosshair and sent us both into the opposite wall. 

He staggered, hand going to my shoulder to steady himself. “Going to pretend I didn’t just hear you teasin’ my brother.”

“Fucker started it,” I retorted, smacking the sniper’s hand off my shoulder. 

“Not completely innocent yourself,” he accused, yet there was no malice in his words. 

I rolled my eyes at him. “My filter doesn’t work when I’m tired, Twiggs.”  _ As you recall from yesterday morning _ . 

“Is  _ Twiggs  _ your best this mornin’?”

_ He’s playing around. Or at least his version of playing. A bit of bite, but no hostility.  _ “Not feedin’ into your masochistic tendencies right now, I gotta piss. So move, bish, get out the way,” I huffed, slipping past him to the bathroom. 

After I was done with that and had done my usual morning routine, I changed into some clothes best suited for a jungle. Waterproof and moisture wicking was the name of the game today as I summoned them from the bottomless pit that was my bag. 

I looked myself over in the mirror once I finished. Black sleeveless shirt, camo cargo shorts, black fingerless gloves, and some handy black footguards with a red trim.

“Dang, Shadow. Really out here lookin’ like Lara Croft.” 

Eyeing my bag again, I reached inside once more. “Saber belt.” Would there be one in here? 

Something leather formed in my hand and I tugged out a belt with two clips for the sabers. Inspecting it before slipping it on, I reached back into the bag. “Lightsabers.”

Taking the weapons and clipping them to my belt, I made sure everything was in order and exited the bathroom. 

And nearly smacked my forehead into Hunter’s. 

Reeling back, I blinked at him. “Can I help you, sir?”

_ Hold it, is he my same height now? I swore he was an inch taller yesterday… oh well, now we’re evenly matched.  _

He looked me up and down then ventured, “Didn’t take it too far, did I?”

_ Oh. Yeah my running from the room may not have been the biggest confidence booster…  _

“You’re completely fine, Sarge,” I assured him. I eyed his hair, wanting so desperately to brush the stray strands from his face. But, knowing that would only lead to more issues for both of us, I refrained. 

“I do like it when you tease me,” I admitted softly.  _ Understatement of the century _ . “I just don’t know how to respond to that side of a guy.”

“I see,” Hunter remarked and smiled warmly. “We’ll take it at your pace.” His smile turned more playful. “But I do like teasin’ you too. You’re adorable when you blush.”

Ears flattening in mock anger, I huffed and shouldered past him. “Cheeky bastard.”

“You fell for this,” he reminded me with a chuckle as he slipped into the bathroom after me. 

“That I did,” I mumbled to myself, unable to withhold a smile as I walked to the den area. 

“Maker, you two better not act like that on the trail,” Crosshair groaned as he checked his rifle. 

I rolled my eyes, ready to smart off, but stopped when I noticed Wrecker by the counter. The tall mountain of a man kept shifting side to side, uncertain smile on his face, so I asked, “Wreck? Everything ok, bud?”

“I got you some fruit and jerky,” Wrecker said sheepishly, gesturing towards the counter. “Went ‘fore you woke up and asked the Jedi lady what you liked.”

I blinked. “You… got up early? Just… to get me food you knew I liked?”

“Yeah!” he said, grin widening. 

I placed a hand over my heart, genuinely touched and close to tears. “Wrecker…” 

Crosshair squinted at me. “What’s wrong with  _ you _ ?” 

“He woke up early and got me food…” I looked from the blessed food to the team’s tank. “That’s so sweet!”

“Really didn’t think you a romantic,” Crosshair muttered, rolling his eyes. 

“Shut the fuck up, cynical extension cord,” I growled in his direction, going over to hug Wrecker. Damn he was the perfect living teddy bear to hug. Voice half muffled by the demolition expert’s chest as an arm wrapped around my shoulders, I grumbled, “Ain’t my fault you got the romantic capabilities of a moldy sponge.”

Wrecker’s laugh rumbled against my cheek as he hugged me tightly. “You’re welcome for the food, Squeak!”

I hugged him tighter, tail wrapping around his leg and a loud purr rumbling in my throat, before I pulled back. “You are the  _ biggest  _ sweetheart, I swear.”

“Worth it for you, Squeaky!” he laughed, grinning. 

“Ew,” Crosshair spat. 

Ignoring the heartless reedstem, I munched on some of the fruit as the boys continued to get their gear ready. 

“Where’d the fruit and jerky come from?” Hunter asked as he walked in, hair neatly arranged into his bandana. He had, however, left it a bit messier. 

Which I appreciated. 

“Wrecker got it for me!” I chirped, gnawing on one of the jerky slices. 

Hunter stiffened in surprise. “What? When?”

“He got up early! Such a sweetheart.”

The glare Hunter sent Wrecker was nothing short of  _ territorial _ . 

_ Oh… oh no. Not this... _

“Furball almost cried,” Crosshair said, fanning the flames of Hunter’s jealousy. Or, rather, pouring gasoline on it. Judging by the smug grin, he knew exactly what he was doing. 

Wrecker also bore a smug grin. “See? She likes  _ me  _ best.” 

“Wasn’t  _ you _ she cuddled with last night.”

“Oh  _ hell _ no!” I barked, pointing at them both. “You two are  _ not _ about to get into a damn cock contest about who I like more. I ain’t dealin’ with that while I’m eatin’, no way no how. Not here, not now. So cease your antics before I decide  _ Crosshair _ is my favorite.” 

I didn’t think I had ever seen Wrecker or Hunter look so downright  _ appalled _ . I also hadn’t seen Crosshair as smug as he was in that instance. 

Tech, of course, remained buried in his gadgets as the others voiced their dismay. 

“Squeaky!”

“Ice!” 

I pointed a threatening finger at the both of them before going back to my breakfast. 

Still pouting, Hunter wandered over and reached over a piece of my jerky. 

I lifted my foot and placed it on his stomach, holding him at bay. “No food for you. Not from my plate. Get your own.”

“Why?” Hunter whined, holding my calf to alleviate the pressure against his stomach. 

“Cause you were bein’ a jealous SoB,” I retorted, giving him a slight push and dropping my foot.

“Shadow? Could I have a piece of the fruit?” Tech asked, looking up from his work. 

“Ya.”

“What?!” Hunter barked as Tech jogged over and took a strawberry. 

“He’s adorable,” I answered simply.

For once Tech didn’t complain about the description, instead using it to his advantage to get food.

“Turnin’ my team again me, Ice?” Hunter grumbled, crossing his arms and glaring at Tech. 

“Makes you feel any better, I wouldn’t share with Twiggs either.” 

“It does not.” 

“Aw, is someone jealous?” Crosshair sneered at his brother. 

Immediately, Hunter moved closer to me all while keeping his glare aimed at his brother. 

_ I knew Hunter was the territorial type _ …

I’d be a damn  _ liar  _ if I said it didn’t get me feeling a certain way. 

Hunter’s tough front was ruined by a sudden sneeze, and I suddenly found the plate  _ very _ interesting. 

Because to meet Hunter’s gaze when I was the one who caused him to sneeze…

“Guess we’d better get ready and hit the trail! Double time, y’all!” I exclaimed, clapping my hands together. 

“Ma’am yes ma’am!” Wrecker laughed, unaware that I just set off Hunter’s senses. 

Hopefully no one else noticed… 

Nope, judging by the smug look on his face Crosshair did. 

And… yep Hunter was staring at me as well. 

Letting my hair hide my face, I continued to munch on the food as my cheeks burned, heat rising further up my neck at the two chuckles. 

_ Well this day is just off to a great start, huh _ ? _ What tom-fuckery awaits us today? _


End file.
